Loving You Forever Is What I Need
by Fbiloveemandhotch
Summary: They were together for five years, but too many things happened and they were never able to make each other happy. Maybe is time to move on and let each other go and find their truth happiness. The problem is how can you let someone you never really had go...? Can she live without him?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Hi guys it has bee a really long time? I apologize life has been crazy for the past few years, by now you all know I suffer a heart attack two years ago and it took a huge toll on my health. Ever since then, things have slowed down. I been working o different projects so please bare with me with all my stories that haven't been updated in ages. I am working on finishing all the stories currently posted and any future ones I might add. So please be patient; I haven't forgotten all the other stories and I will finish them that is a promise.

I am doing this story as a gift to someone who has supported me incredibly and has been more than a friend _**SouthunLady**_, she has become one of my most important friends and supporters and we meet trough this website, she not only was Beta editor but supported my while doing college reviewing all my essays and papers. This story is a gift created specialy to her, so I apologize about any grammatical errors since I will be doing this on my, without being edited mainly because I want to give her something to look forward everyday without having to be the editor, a story she can read and enjoy all on her own. So this is the first time she would see this, the minute you guys do, again I apologize about any grammar errors this would be posted especially for her and I truly want her to enjoy the story.

I DO NOT OWE CRIMINAL MINDS OR THE CHARACTHERS

_**Loving You Forever is What I Need**_

"_**My love for you is a journey starting at forever and ending at never."- Anonymous **_

Hotch watched the brunette quietly, from the corner of the bar he was sitting at; they had been out for drinks to celebrate Morgan's new girlfriend. Or the _flavor of the month _as the girls would say. It wasn't new to anyone; that Morgan was well known for being a player. But apparently this girl was serious and he had decided to actually introduce her to the team. So _now_ they where gathered around at their regular bar, meeting Savanah, well the _boys were getting to meet her_. JJ, Emily and Garcia had been exchanging glances at each other and rolling their eyes whenever Savanah did as much as to laugh or blink. The team had been together for so long they have become a real family, and as such, they took their job very seriously especially when it came to _protecting each other. _

They had been at the bar for a couple of hours now and Hotch was starting to get a headache, it wasn't that he didn't enjoy spending time with the team. They had just been working nonstop, it was literally the first night off they had after fourteen-days-on-the-road working cases out of state. He would be lucky if he got a full night sleep, and having Jessica keep Jack for the morning wasn't even an option. He had already neglected his son enough, with all the hours he worked everyday. He really needed to spend more quality time with Jack, after Haley's death he had promised to dedicate his son as much time as he could. For the most part he had kept his word, Jack had been his number one priority since Haley's death a few years ago. The so stoic Unit Chief had become a single-working-father; at the beginning he was afraid he will fail terrible, but Jack was doing great and Hotch was thankful for that. He really could proudly said Jack was a very well behaved eight year old.

He finished his glass of scotch as he watched Emily again, she was saying goodbye to JJ and Garcia. He heard her mumble something about having a headache, and really needing to go check on Sergio her cat. In all honesty he knew very well she just wanted to be out of the bar as soon as she could, he could see the black bags under her eyes and knew very well she was beyond exhausted. Of course Emily would never admit that out loud, they were so much alike it wasn't even funny. Perhaps it was the reason why things were the way they were at the present moment. Hotch couldn't even describe into words what Emily was to him…..or better said what she had been..

He still wasn't sure, and he probably never would, too many things had happened between them, and there was no way going back. He remembered very well the very first time Emily Prentiss walked into his office, so eager to save the world and prove herself to anyone that was willing to listen. That woman that made him so uncomfortable the very first time they met, end up taking a place on his heart, a place no one would ever be able to replace.

But love wasn't that simple of course, the very first year Emily was working for the BAU, she had to prove herself to the team and Hotch himself. But sooner rather than later Hotch realized she was one of the best agents he had ever worked with. She was smart, compassionate, driven, and beautiful nonetheless. She became part of their family quickly, and the team adore her, it was like Emily was the piece of the puzzle they were always missing that came to make everything better. Even with Hotch himself, she was never afraid to put him on his place, or call him out on his bullshit, yet, she was the first one by his side in the most difficult moments of his life.

Hotch wasn't even sure how everything happened between them, but one day, he found himself kissing her, after he drove her home one night. They started sleeping together soon after that, none of them were really sure what they wanted at first, it just felt nice. Perhaps it was about burning sexual tension, or maybe it was loneliness, or maybe, just maybe it was the feeling of her skin wrapped around his body when his own nightmares were chasing him. They found a way to heal each other by burying themselves into each others body and soul. Of course it wasn't just sex, it ever was just that with Emily Prentiss, it would have been so much easier if it had been, sex was something Hotch could do without problem, it was when his feelings were involved that everything went down the drain.

There were to many complications, he was her boss, and she was his subordinate, then there was the team, and Strauss, and then Jack and Haley. Then the passing of his wife and him becoming a single parent, and the BAU, and any other incident that managed to get in their way of their happiness. There had always been a reason that stopped him from really going to that place, that place where he could fully allow himself to love her deeply and unconditionally like he really wanted. Too many things had happened, too many words have been lefts unsaid, to many years have passed by. Five years of up and downs, five years of dancing around their feelings and putting work at first, or Jack or the team, or Emily's safety. The truth was he truly did love Emily, probably more than he ever loved anyone including Haley, but he had caused her so much pain to in the past five years that he wasn't really sure he actually deserved her. Emily had been the best thing that had happened to him, but she had come in moment where he was confused and in such a dark place, and now years after he just wasn't sure he could give her what she truly deserved, no matter what had happened between them, he really wanted the best for her, and he knew he wasn't the _best_ for her.

He watched her say goodbye to the other ones, as he followed her with his eyes, it was late and they all had been drinking, The unit chief just really wanted to go home and get some sleep, _well first make sure Emily made it home safe_, then go to his own place and get some sleep. He followed Emily into the parking lot without dragging attention from the team, _not that it really mattered_, but the least questioning he got from the team about his personal life the better.

"Let me take you home" he whispered softly as he gently reached for her arm when he finally caught up with her at the parking lot.

"Jesus Christ Hotch! You scared me witless" She said startled looking at him irritated

"I am sorry; it wasn't my intention" he said pausing "Please let me take you home…"

"I am fine Hotch…I literally had two drinks" she rolled her eyes holding two fingers in front of him.

"You had 3 drinks and 2 shots" he stated softly "Although I am not really sure that last shot was even a full one, with Garcia spilling the drinks everywhere" he smiled, one of those rare full dimpled smiles that made Emily shiver.

"I am fine…..just go home Hotch, really I will call a cab….or whatever, I am okay…"

"I thought we were still friends…" He stated a little sadly, Emily closed her eyes sighing.

"We are friends Hotch….is just…." She didn't even have the words, so she looked away

"Just what?""" he asked genuinely intrigued "Friends care for each other….."

"I know Hotch, I just don't think is a good idea….." Emily stated wrapping her arms around her chest, looking slightly uncomfortable

"I am not suggesting taking you to bed Emily, I offer to take you home is late, and is probably going to rain…" he offered really trying to get them out of the parking lot, it was cold and they were both exhausted.

"Fine…" Emily sighed, she wasn't on the mood for any of this, she truly just wanted to go home and forget that everyone including Hotch, existed.

She followed Hotch quietly into his car, and slide into the passenger sit closing her eyes. She heard Hotch slide in and start the car, she wondered how long could she pretend she was sleeping before he began attempting to have a conversation.

"So how long is Savanah going to be on the dog house before she is allowed in the girls club?" He asked smiling a bit, knowing fully well the girls had been evaluation whether or not the girl was good enough to be with Derek.

"Oh Please! Is not like Morgan needs my approval…. he literally can have any girl he wants"

"I was thinking more like he values your opinion…." Hotch replied as he entered the highway. Emily meet his eyes with a half smile, she knew very well that Hotch was aware how much Morgan cared for her and what her opinion meant to him.

"Honestly I think she is beautiful!, but is hard to really form an opinion when he changes woman like he changes underwear" Emily said after a few minutes, that made Hotch laugh and he couldn't agree anymore, Derek definitely like women

The rest of the drive was pretty much quiet, it wasn't like Emily was purposely ignoring him, she just didn't have anything to say, she was truly exhausted and she wasn't sure drinking had been a good idea. She was now getting a headache and the last person she wanted to be with right now, _was Hotch,_ she never really thought she would feel like this, but after everything that had happened she wasn't just sure. She never wanted to hate Hotch she just didn't want him near her ever again.

When they arrived to Emily's condo, Hotch cut the engine and got out to open the door for her, regardless of what happened between them he was still a gentleman, he would always be.

"You don't have to walk me to the door Hotch, I am not five" Emily said exasperated

"I know that, is dark outside and I just want to see you safe inside home" he said in a challenge tone. _One that used to turn her on_, now it just made her kind of nauseous. Emily just sighed rolling her eyes, there was no point to argue with him, and she wasn't really on the mood anyway.

When they arrived to her apartment door, Emily opened the door and walked in and throwing her keys and purse on the counter, Hotch following her quietly and looking around the once familiar cozy living room. She took of her shoes calling for her so beloved cat.

"Thanks for walking me over Hotch, have a good night" Emily said avoiding his eyes, it really was making her uncomfortable to have him there. Hotch sighed looking at her, her posture was screaming how truly annoyed and uncomfortable she was with his presence.

"Is this how is how things are going to be for now on?" He asked with a sad expression

"Is what going to be?" Emily asked annoyed

"Us? You barely talking to me? Acting like I am an unsub anytime I come near you?" he truly wanted to know if she really hated him so much, of course he knew how much he had hurt her.

"I don't know what you want me to say Hotch" Emily responded rubbing her temple clearly frustrated, she should have never let him take her home, she knew that.

"Why can you just tell me the truth? How you are feeling….you used to tell me everything Emily….."his tone reflected pain and annoyance

"Dammit Aaron….." she bit angrily "What do you want me to say? There is nothing left to say anymore, you made your choices and I made mine, there nothing else to say"

"Emily…just…."

"What Aaron! What ?!" She snapped

"If this is about Beth…..I will end things with her" he added cautiously, he knew she was upset and he wasn't sure how she was going to re act.

"Aaron stop" she put her hand out "You owe me nothing, your free to date whomever you want….."

"You told me to move on….." he said sadly remembering six months ago, when they broke up for the third time in the five years they have together. Dating was probably a strong word, he was never really sure what they really were. "You told me to find someone else and let you go…."

"I did…..and that is exactly what you did…take the first woman you ran into to bed….." Emily said with hatred on her voice.

"I haven't slept with Beth, and you know that….Emily… I don't want to hurt you…."

"You are not" her breath caught, she could feel her heart breaking.

"Emily….you know that you will always be in my heart" this time she wasn't able to speak, her heart strings tugged.

"I will leave Beth right now, to be with you…." He said coming closer to her and taking her hand in his. Emily withdrew her had taking a step back she couldn't stand his touch right now.

"All you have to do is ask Emily…and I will do it…I will fight for you" he pleaded. Her eyes filled with tears, shaking her head and walking away from him.

"Em….."

"Don't please! Just stop" She begged

"Emily…"

"You broke my heart three times Aaron…. three fucking times!" she reproached " and you still have the decency to stand here and tell me you will leave her…" she furiously wiped her eyes

"I know that, and I am really sorry….there was so much going back then….Emily I have made so many mistakes…..but I can swear to you that if you give me one more chance I will make it up to you for the rest of my life…..I will do anything it takes….." he begged reaching out for her

" Aaron don't do this please….." she begged as tears started rolling down her eyes

"Baby…"

"I can't Aaron not anymore…please just….just leave…"

" Emily….."

"Go Aaron! Please just go….call Beth…..forget about me and just move on with your life please…."

Hotch stood there looking at her, he wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms and kiss her breathless. He knew he would never care about anyone the way he cared about her. But too much had happened, he had broken her heart too many times. It wasn't intentional, the majority of the time he had been trying to protect her even if it meant his own happiness. Life hadn't been easy for them, there were to many skeletons in the closet. The very first time they have attempted to give it a shot at a relationship, they were hiding from the team and everyone, his divorce was barely finalized and Haley was out of control, he didn't want to drag Emily into his mess so he distanced from her and put a stop to things before they could really be emotionally involved. That really hurt Emily but he knew Haley would go after Emily if she knew he was in love with her, Emily didn't deserve to be dragged into his messy divorce.

The second time neither of them could really stay away from each other, the chemistry between them was almost sickening, he had never feel so connected with someone sexually and emotionally, but right around that time Straus was trying to destroy him and his career. Hotch knew very well that if Strauss had any evidence of them dating or involved in anyway he would destroy Emily and her career and he couldn't let that happen, her care about her too much. He was willing to sacrifice his own happiness to protect her from BAU and Strauss.

The final time, Emily had been with him through the most difficult times of his life, she understood him better than anyone else ever had. It wasn't even about company or sexual attraction anymore, it was the fact that when he was with Emily he could be himself without all his stoic facades, she was literally the light of his eyes, a happiness Hotch didn't know he could ever achieve. But then Foyet happened and Haley died and he found himself a mess again, only this time no one should have to pay for his mistakes like Haley had. He didn't deserve Emily, a broken man, that had nothing to offer. She was too good; she was beautiful and perfect, she deserved the best in the world and he wasn't that. So once again he ended things with her, as much as he hated to hurt Emily he knew she would eventually recover and find someone who could really make her happy and really deserve her.

"If that is what you really want? …..I would leave you alone and never bother you again…" He said looking down, it really hurt to be there not being able to hold her in his arms and telling her how much he really loved her.

That was what killed him the most, that he couldn't tell her that he loved her, they have never actually said it out loud to each other, they have pretty much given their lives protecting each other and watching after each other, but never in five years neither of them have said the most three simple words a human could say.

"I do….be with Beth and find your happiness there…" Emily said in a short voice, it hurt so much to let him go. "Please go Hotch….."

"Okay…..I respect your decision….just know that no matter what you will forever be in my heart.." he said placing a kiss on her forehead, that was as close as he have ever been to saying I love you, and it still wasn't enough. He left her apartment not looking back, he knew he would probably never recover from this.

Emily watched him walk away, as tears rolled down her eyes, after five years of fighting against her own feelings, she was finally able to say NO. It was tearing her apart, but she couldn't do it anymore, she couldn't bare the pain that he was causing her, and she knew very well he would never be fully hers.

_**Share my life**_

_**Take me for what I am**_

_**'Cause I'll never change**_

_**All my colors for you**_

_**Take my love**_

_**I'll never ask for too much**_

_**Just all that you are**_

_**And everything that you do**_

_**I don't really need to look**_

_**Very much further**_

_**I don't want to have to go**_

_**Where you don't follow**_

_**I will hold it back again**_

_**This passion inside**_

_**Can't run from myself**_

_**There's nowhere to hide…**_

Watching him with another woman would probably destroy her, but she knew they would never be able to be happy, too much had happened, they were both too damaged to even be able to make themselves happy. Emily knew very well she should have ever gotten involved with him, it hurt too much, and he would never be hers. Maybe it was time for her to move on as well, and try to find happiness somewhere else, she needed to let him go even if it was the last thing she did. Maybe one day she will stop loving Aaron Hotchner the way she did.

_**But don't make me close one more door**_

_**I don't want to hurt anymore**_

_**Stay in my arms if you dare**_

_**Or must I imagine you there**_

_**Don't walk away from me**_

_**I have nothing, nothing, nothing**_

_**If I don't have you, you, you, you, you…..**_

"_**The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward."**_

― _**Steve Maraboli**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Loving You Forever is What I Need Chapter Two**_

"_**There are so many ways to be brave in this world. Sometimes bravery involves laying down your life for something bigger than yourself, or for someone else. Sometimes it involves giving up everything you have ever known, or everyone you have ever loved, for the sake of something greater.**____**But sometimes it doesn't.**____**Sometimes it is nothing more than gritting your teeth through pain, and the work of every day, the slow walk toward a better life. That is the sort of bravery I must have now." ― **__**Veronica Roth**_

_**************Three Years Later**************** **_

Aaron Hotchner woke up on a Thursday morning; earlier than he usually did, sleep didn't come easy these days. He was getting older and grumpier; he was now a boring married mad. Of course he was still the _so respected_ Unit Chief for the Behavioral Analysis Unit at the FBI. His job still required as much time from him as it used to, he still found himself dragged away more than five days at week from his family. Even though he was no longer under the direct supervision of Erin Strauss, he still was in charge of so many things. The new Section Chief Matt Cruz was constantly calling him at home even on his days off. Matt Cruz was definitely more laid back than Erin Strauss had ever even, in fact Hotch really liked Cruz, but that didn't mean his current boss still managed to get on his nerves from time to time. He stretched out on bed without waking up his sleeping companion; and he padded out of the room closing the door slowly behind him. He made his way into the kitchen to start the coffee machine almost tripping on his way with a toy car. He smiled softly and placed the green car at the coffee table of his living room, this house felt so strange for him, it had for a few years, but yet this was his life.

He walked into the kitchen digging trough the cabinets for coffee, he took a deep breath as he waited for the coffee to slowly brew. It was early, probably earlier than his usual routine, he rubbed his eyes tiredly, the smell fresh coffee filling his nostrils. He walked over the fridge to get some milk, _when a picture caught his attention_, it was a picture of him Jack, and Jayden, his two-year-old son. They were at the mall, a few days before Christmas and he wasn't a very big fan of Santa pictures of himself, so he had opted to take a picture of his kids next to the huge Christmas tree by the escalator. Eleven-year-old Jack sat smiling on the velvety couch, wearing a blue sweater holding his 2-year-old brother, who was also wearing a blue sweater. Although Jack and Jayden were so different psychically, Hotch couldn't love any of his kids any less. Jack had been his very first child, the one that taught him how to be a father and how to love someone unconditionally, his gorgeous son was a living image of the woman he once loved. His blond hair and hazelnut eyes shined trough the picture, regardless of his current life situation his children were his entire happiness, and seeing Jack smile like that _so free ad careless_ made him so happy. Jayden was the light of his eyes as well, he had not inherited the famous Hotchner dimples but, his hair and eyes were light brown and his toothy smile made his heart melt. Hotch had find out Beth was pregnant at a very difficult time on his life, for the past three years he had been living in the fog. He cared about Beth of course he did, she was the mother of his child, but he didn't love her and he wasn't sure he ever would.

It was about three years ago that the woman he _truly deeply loved_ told him to marry Beth and forget about her once and for all. They have tried so many times to have a relationship and every single time he had ended breaking Emily's heart. He knew it wasn't her fault, he failed her way too many times, and eventually she got tired and moved on. The least he could was leave her alone and let her find someone who truly made her happy. But things with Beth weren't working the way had expected, she didn't understand his schedule or what he did for a living. They ended up having more arguments he ever thought it would be possible to have with anyone, he didn't love Beth and he knew he would end up regretting not being with Emily for the rest of his life. So once again he took the courage to go after Emily again. He ended his relationship with Beth and asked Emily for another chance, he begged literally on his knees to win her love back, Emily didn't really give him an answer but they did end up spending the night making love and reconnecting, it was probably one of the happiest nights of his life. But life slapped him on the face once again when Beth called him a week later telling him she was pregnant, and they needed to talk. This time Emily simply couldn't take it anymore, she told him to go be a man and a father, and she left to London the following week, she truly never spoke to him much after that. Now here he was attempting to be a man and a father and live a life he truly never wanted. But he had settled into this life, he loved his children more than anything, and that made him happy. Beth and him weren't really happy, they never really been, but they were doing everything they could to keep their kids happy and Jack had a motherly figure, it was more than he could ask for.

He poured his cup of coffee and creamer clearing his mind from his thoughts, he only had a few hours before he went to work. He really wanted to spend some time with his children before he was dragged away from his family on a case for another week or so. Taking advantage that he was up at least one hour earlier than what he was used to, he proceeded to make breakfast for his family.

One hour later Jack ran into the kitchen happy to have his father home for a few more hours, Jack was quickly growing and it was harder to explain why his dad had to work so much.

"Dad! Summer break is coming up can we go fishing to the lake again like last year with uncle Dave" The eleven-year-old said enthusiastically

"I am sure we can arrange something, I will talk with Dave today and we can plan something" Hotch said ruffling his son's hair, still unable to believe his son was getting so big. It felt like it was just yesterday when Jack was a newborn and Hotch sat by his crib to watch him sleep.

"Good morning guys" Beth amended sweetly walking into the kitchen, bringing Hotch back from his thoughts, holding their two-year-old in her arms

"Daddy!" Jayden said happily throwing his arms around his father

"Hey buddy" Hotch face lit taking toddler in his arms placing a kiss on his hair.

"Wow thanks for doing this babe" Beth came closer placing a kiss on his lips "You know how much the kids love when you are home"

Hotch returned the kiss barely and then moved to place Jayden on his highchair, he knew that Beth was still trying to keep things formal in front of their kids. They been having some issues and she was trying to be as supportive and understanding as she could, but things weren't okay no matter how much she wished things were different. They barely even made love anymore, in fact they haven't had sex in over six months, Hotch was always working and when he was home he was never really on the mood. Adding the fact that they were fighting on a constant basis, in fact they had gotten into a huge fight before Hotch went to work on his last case.

Beth Clemons had thought she had finally achieved happiness and her most desired dream, she was married to the man she loved the most. He was handsome a hard working man and an excellent father, a man every woman would dream of having, _she had him_, but not the way she wanted. Aaron Hotchner was married to her, they had a beautiful house together and two amazing children, but she didn't have his heart, and she knew very well she never would. One of the hardest things of being with him was the fact that she knew his heart would always belong to someone else. Even when they had first started dating, she knew very well he was in love with another woman. She thought that getting pregnant would finally give her what she wanted the most _his heart._ But that wasn't even close to being true, because even after they got married and she had the baby his heart was never fully hers, and now Emily Prentiss was miles away in another country and she knew deep in her heart that he still loved her and he probably always will. However, heir fight hadn't really been about Emily Prentiss,_ no_, they had not even mention her name in several years, Beth learned that, the hard way, it taught her not to ever bring her name again. Their fight was about him going to work when Beth's parents were in town vising their grad child and daughter. She wanted _to show off of course,_ she wanted her parents to believe she was living a fairy tale, so when Hotch went to work instead of staying home they end up having a huge argument, one of the many they have had over the past year.

"Do you know were are you going yet?" Beth asked clearing her mind.

"I am actually not sure, JJ hasn't actually chosen a case yet" Hotch paused taking a sip of his coffee "We _do have_ some files to review about an old international-serial-killer case, so I am not even sure the case would be fully ours"

"I really hope so, I was thinking maybe if you are home this week, we can go on a date, my sister can watch the kids Friday" Beth said excited the truly haven't been on a date since they have first started dating

"I am not sure honey…. I still have a lot of files to review…" He responded smiling at his two-year-old who was playing with his Sippy cup. Beth nodded sadly looking away, she wasn't even on the mood to even argue, there was no point. Hotch notice her behavior and stood up from the table kissing their boys goodbye and then placing a kiss on her head. He really needed to get to work and pretending to be a happy dad make him sick.

"Have a good day boys, be nice to Beth" Hotch left without saying anything else, noticing the sad look Beth gave him as he left.

He didn't know if it was the fact that he had called her Beth in front of the children, or the fact that he basically had dismissed her plans for a dinner date. But there wasn't really any point to _sugar coat things_. Making both of the children call her mom was a bit too much, she was good with Jack, but he knew very well Jack would never be able to call her mom, he still missed her mother and Hotch would never his son to do something he was uncomfortable with. _About her plans to go to dinner_, it wasn't really that he was refusing to go out with her, but he really didn't trust many people around his son, except for his former sister in law Jessica, and she already helped enough when Beth was working. In all honesty Beth and him were having a rough patch, _the truth was_ the only reason they were truly together was because of Jayden, but Hotch knew fully well his heart would never belong to Beth and he would never be able to love her. So he drove to work keeping his mind on the little information he had received from JJ about the international case, maybe it was the best he could do, just focus on work as he always did.

**London, England Present Time**

Thousands of miles from Quantico, Virginia, Emily Prentiss was leaving the conference room where she had been having at meeting for the past few hours. She straitened her skirt as she walked through the crowded Interpol corridors. The finely embroidered black suit outlying her fine curves, the red silk blouse she wore made her porcelain skin stand out; and the clearly expensive black high heels, clicking as she walked towards her office, her black curly hair waving softly as she walked. She made her way into her office handing some files to her assistant, barely paying attention to the crowded building around them and to what her assistant was saying. She was truly exhausted, she had been in meetings since six o'clock in the morning and she was just wanted to go home, plus Clyde Eastern was definitely getting on her nerves. He was a wonderful boss, and one of her best friends in life, but he truly had the ability to irritate her when he really wanted to, and that drove her crazy.

She walked into her office with Alina DeJoung following behind, one of her most prominent agents, and _now at days_ the closest friend she had. In many ways Alina remind Emily of herself, she was strong and determined, she wasn't afraid to put people in their places even if that someone was Clyde Eastern Director of the Interpol Division. She was an amazing agent and a wonderful human overall, she was kind of compassionate but stubborn and stuck in her ways. It was probably one of the reasons she had become Emily's friend and right hand. Alina was Ukrainian, but had lived in London most of her life. Emily and her had meet back in her old days at CIA, and they the had remained friends over the years. When Emily took over the Interpol Office, Alina called her and Emily didn't even think twice before offering her a job, she was after all one of the best agents Emily had ever worked with.

"God he is such an arrogant ass" Alina spat in her tick Ukrainian accent, making Emily laugh and roll her eyes, it was not secret to anyone that Clyde was usually a jerk to everyone, especially to Alina. Emily knew very well it was because he was attracted to the beautiful European woman, Alina herself thought it was because Emily took her side in everything she did.

"You like that, don't lie" She smirked easefully

"Oh my god" Emily said stopping in her tracks to look at the huge gorgeous flower bouquet sitting at her desk. It was a white and red roses bouquet with baby breath and some small lilacs to outset the arrangement. "This is soo beautiful, I wonder who sent it" Emily asked smelling the roses and closing her eyes.

"Oh please! Like you need to rub in our face that you are dating the hottest man alive" Alina said rolling her eyes and sitting at Emily's desk chair. Emily laughed tilting her head at her friend, she was really glad she had a good friend in London. Especially when she felt lonely and JJ and Garcia where thousands of miles away from her. She took the small card that came with the arrangement and read the perfect calligraphy _"For the most beautiful woman on earth, Love you always. Liam" _Emily smiled grew deeper smelling the card, as Liam's manly fragrance filled her nostrils.

"He is such a sweet man" Emily said nonchalantly

"Emily!... he is literally the perfect man; women would kill to have him" Alina said unable to believe her friend talked about her boyfriend like he was just some random guy she was seeing.

Liam O'Donnell was an Irish Interpol Agent, in fact he was the Head of the Secret Service Unit. He was a well-educated man in his late forties, he was well built and charismatic, his sexy accent and ocean blue eyes were such a turn on for any women. He was a very handsome man, who was deeply in loved with Emily Prentiss and Alina simply couldn't understand why Emily wasn't head over hells for such a sexy wonderful man. He was literally the man any women would dream off, sexy, strong, educated, romantic and protective.

"You are just a huge romantic" Emily laughed teasing her friend "You know Clyde is actually pretty good looking as well" Emily winked at her friend

"Yeah with and ego bigger than himself" Alina scoffed standing from her friend's desk and walking over the window

"I cant believe you don't see how lucky you are Emily…. he is literally the perfect man…" she said in a serious tone " And he is literally so sweet with you, most man now at days are just…well just assholes" Alina said looking at Emily

"I know Lina, and I do care about him, is just difficult you know…we both work crazy hours and is always hard to commit to something with our jobs…" the brunette woman said sitting at her desk and smiling kindly at the blond woman.

"And he would walk over the moon for you…" The other woman said emphasizing her last words "He would literally do anything for you, _anything _if that is not love for you I don't know what is…" she added in disbelief

"Okay _Dr Heart,_ can we please just go over these last files… so I can go home and forget this place even exists" Emily said laughing at her friend's reaction. But before Alina could respond someone walked into her office with a suave smile.

"Hello ladies…." Liam said in his perfect Irish accent

"Hey…." Emily's face immediately lit up.

"Well speak of the devil…." Alina said giving Emily a conspiracy look

"Did I interrupt anything…." Liam asked looking at both women hoping he hadn't walked in the middle of something important.

"Oh no, Alina is just….." Emily said standing up and looking at her boyfriend

"Nothing I was actually just leaving…" Alina was quick on her feet to give her friend the privacy she so deserved " See you later, have fun Em…." she stated winking at Emily and walking away

"What was all that about?" Liam asked wrapping his arms around her waist

"Nothing don't worry" Emily said dismissively "Lina is just being "Lina" as usual" she smiled as he kissed her lips.

"Thanks so much for the flowers by the way" she said wrapping her arms around his strong shoulders "I hadn't even have time to text you to say thanks"

"Don't mention it love, the least I can do is to treat you like a queen" Liam said kissing her again and holding her close, allowing the kiss to deepen enough to make her shiver.

Emily sighed against his lips and holding him closer, it felt so good to be able to be with someone who made her happy. Alina was right, Liam was so good to her, even more so than she deserved, he was kind and loving. He truly understood her job demands, and unlike most men Emily had ever dated, he had absolutely no problem with her being an Interpol bad ass agent. In fact, it just turned him on even more, he adored Emily and showed her that everyday he could.

"So Agent Prentiss, would your incredibly busy schedule allow you to have dinner with this humble man" Emily laughed rolling her eyes and kissing him again.

"Oh I don't know Agent O'Donnell" Emily said as she pretended to seriously be thinking about it. "I would really have to check my agenda" she teased

Liam picked her in his arms and swung her around the room.

"Then I guess I'll just have to kidnap you Agent" he said in a serious tone, as Emily squealed laughing.

"Nooo! Liam stop put me down" Emily closed her eyes laughing, it was so rare that she actually had time to enjoy these moments with her boyfriend, especially inside the Interpol office.

Thankfully, most of the personal had already left for the day. Besides by now the entire Interpol office knew that the incredibly handsome Irish Agent was head over heels for the Head of the Interpol Office. Even Easter was completely okay with the relationship; it wasn't like either of them was making their relationship to interfere with the job. Clyde really loved Emily she was one of his best friends in life and he was happy she had finally find someone that truly love her and respect her.

Liam swung her around one more time and then he gently placed her on the floor kissing her forehead.

"Alright love, I do have to get back to work, I just wanted to come by really quick and say hi" Liam said looking at her.

"Okay Agent O'Donnell" Emily agreed smiling widely her arms still around his arms. "What time should I be ready tonight?" she questioned accepting his dinner invitation

"Seven?" Liam smiled giving him one of those sexy winks she loved so much, but before Emily could respond Alina poked her head inside Emily's office again.

"Sorry to Interrupt Agents/" She said clearing her throat in a joking manner, Emily and Liam pulled away from each other and turned their attention to the younger Agent smiling.

"Emily, Minister Chapman would like to know if everything is set up for the conference next week, ? you know how gets"-The blond woman shrugged her arms in annoyance "Also I just received footage of the nightclub murder last night, do you want me to have Intel check it out?"

Emily's mind immediately returned to _her at work Head of the Interpol London Office position_.

"I will call Chapman myself" Emily stated in her usual in charge but kind tone. "And I don't want Intel to have the video just yet…you and I can go over the footage in little bit" Emily said "I have a bad feeling about this case…."

"Right!" Alina smiled winking "I can actually take a look at it _all by myself_, in case you know?" a devilish smiled appeared on her pale skin "You are uhmm busy?"

Liam laughed and Emily just rolled her eyes tilting her head her friend with an amused look.

"Anyway I'll leave you alone…..to umm finish talking" Once again she winked and left the office with a big smile on her face.

"Ahh what's not to love about that one?" Liam questioned pulling Emily in his arms again as if nothing had interrupted them.

"She is something else for sure…" Emily said shaking her head and looking at Liam with small smile.

"She loves you darling, she just wants to see you happy…" Liam amended

"I know, and I am happy" She stated looking directly into his sparkling blue ocean eyes.

"I love you Agent Prentiss" Liam said pulling her once again for a passionate kiss.

"I love you too" Emily responded returning the kiss, one last peck on her lips and Liam was gone leaving Emily alone with her thoughts.

There were probably _three of the most difficult word she had ever said_, to anyone, and it really scared her. Is was not that she didn't love Liam, well_** love **_might be a very strong word at the moment. She cared for him, she truly had feelings for him, but love? actually _love? _being completely in love with was probably the wrong concept.

See _love _was something very difficult for Emily Prentiss ever since she was a child, her mother was the first person that made Emily so insecure and feeling that she was incapable of being loved. She grew up feeling unworthy and insecure and that really affected her relationships as an adult. The very first time Emily was in loved with someone of perhaps infatuated she was young maybe 24, she had barely started working for the CIA and she was naïve and she absolutely no experience with love. The guy end up crushing her heart and leaving her more insecure that she had ever been. She promised that she would never let anyone close enough to ever hurt her again, and that work great for many years, but then she met Aaron Hotchner. The so very _strong wall_ she had built around her self crumbled down, and she felt madly in love with him, like she had never in her life had before, and she wasn't sure she could ever recover from damage he had done. Now she was here years later, flourishing more than ever, with a dream job and her life was beginning to settle down again. Liam was a wonderful man, one of of the sweetest and kindest she had ever met. He truly loved her and respect her, in fact there wasn't anything he wouldn't do for her. He was strong, smart, compassionate and incredibly sexy. But the truth was her heart would probably always belong to someone else and Emily knew it. That didn't mean that she didn't care about Liam, she truly did have feelings for him. Liam was the very first attempt she ever had at trying to be happy again, after what Aaron did to her, a chance of allowing her self to love and be loved again. Maybe one day she would be able to give her heart entirely to Liam, maybe one day she could love Liam the way she loved Aaron Hotchner.

_**I think that you never fall out of love with somebody, you just let go and move on.**_

—_**Ashley Rickards**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Loving You Forever Is What I Need Chapter Three**_

"_**If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were." Khalil Gibran**_

**Quantico, Virginia Present Time**

Aaron Hotchner paced around his office, running a hand trough his tick black hair; it was late, later than he was used to going home. It was past eight and they were still at work trying to figure out a profile from the latest unsub the BAU was after. The problem was he wasn't quiet sure if they had the case entirely or not or if they could actually go after the unsub without risking their careers. The case had started with a serious of random murders around D.C., t was mostly prostitutes, in their late thirties; they had been raped and then dumped around the city. The most alarming thing was the fact; was that the usnub had made the victims write their own goodbye letter to their family members. Not only, _telling them exactly how they had die_ but every single thing the unsub had done to them.

At first it was just a few random murders around D.C, then the murders spread to Virginia, Chicago, New York, and finally to Jacksonville, Florida. Where one of the victims, was found near an abandoned house. What stroked Hotch the most was the fact that the abandoned house was linked to Peter Lewis's father, _also know as Mr. Scratch_. A famous serial killer the team had attempted to catch when Emily was still part of the BAU. Mr. Scratch had induced several victims into a psychotic coma using burnt sage, making them murder their own loved ones. The unsub had gone as far as inducing Hotch into a hallucination status, making him vulnerable to Mr. Scratch and being a victim himself. The team was able catch Mr. Scratch and save Hotch, but no one ever knew exactly what Hotch had gone trough, except Emily and Dave. The team just knew case had really affected him greatly, especially when a few months later Mr. Scratch escaped prison and was on the run. Hotch had already lost his first wife chasing after an unsub, when Foyet killed Haley and tried to go after his son.

As much as Hotch wanted to spend the rest of his days catching Mr. Scratch he knew he couldn't never put Jack at risk, or even Emily. He had lost already so much because of Foyet, he wasn't sure he could take the chances of everything he had left at risk for another unsub. So no years later, when one of their crime scenes was exactly at the house that Peter Lewis's father had owned; Hotch knew Mr. Scratch was back, and his suspicions were confirmed when he requested a toxicology report from each the prostitute that were murder, he was shocked to find out there were traces of sage on the victim's lungs.

"Is him David, you know that as well as I do" He stated irritated, although they exactly identify Pete Lewis as their main usnub, there were several things that lead the team to believe they were being staged by Mr. Scratch.

"He is trying to mess with your mind Aaron" Dave confirmed the older profiler had already feared that Mr. Scratch would come back chasing after the team. He just didn't expect it to affect the younger profiler as much as it was.

"All the murders are related, we need to go back and review those files again, there could be more victims…Dave" The unit chief said frustrated "We don't know how long he has been taunting us"

"Aaron the BAU is already in our assess, Cruz has been breathing down or neck since JJ was kidnaped….. they told you that you are to close to case….that is why they took it away Aaron" Dave reminded him.

"If I talk to the director and Cruz again, I can convince them…. trust me Dave, no one knows Mr. Scratch better than we do…." He reasoned

"It wont work and you know it…we already have enough problems as it is" Dave said calmly "There is no way in hell the will give you the case back, not after Foyet….."

"So what are we supposed to do David…...?" Hotch asked irritated "Let Mr. Scratch keep playing with our mind….? Keep killing people?" What do you want me to do David let him go after my team? More innocent people?…..you saw what he did to those women!"

"Look I want to catch this son of a bitch as much as you do" Rossi assured "But if we go behind the bureaus back and they find out…..our careers are over Aaron we could get serious charges for it"

"I know that Dave"

"We had several investigations already Hotch, after Foyet and Doyle, and the whole mess with JJ and Reid…they will break the team…." Dave said clearly worried "We cannot take the risk if they break the team is over for everybody….."

"We could do it, if we are very careful…." Hotch tried again " I know Peter Lewis's profile I could work from home….."

"NO" Dave replied firmly "We aren't going to go against Cruz orders we aren't working the case against the BAU'S orders"

"Then what the hell do you want me to do David….! He could go after my children" Hotch spat furiously

"I know….." Dave said placing his hand out to stop his friend from going any further "There is a way we can do it without risking our jobs or the team…." Dave said calmly

"What are you talking about…."

"Garcia traced Mr. Scratch murders all the way to Ukraine, Russia, Scotland and even London" The older profiler said calmly

"So?" Hotch asked still confused

"Look the majority of the murders are international…." Dave stated smartly "Is technically not a FBI case any longer…."

"Interpol" Hotch finished for him feeling his stomach drop from a mixture of anger, regret, and fear. He had not seen Emily in a few years, calling her for help would imply seeing her, being near her again.

"Dave, I honestly don't want to bother Emily, plus I am not sure she can simply just take the case away from the BAU…."

"She will…. _for you_ and you know it"

"I don't know Dave" The unit chief said still unsure

"Look do you want to catch this bastard? or are you going to let your ego get on the way" Dave asked frustrated

Hotch just looked at him for a moment, as much as he hated to call Emily and bother her after everything that had happened between them. David was right, the bureau had already taken the case away from them, he could be risking everyone's careers of he went against Cruz's orders/ He would be a fool is he let another unsub get away and mess with his team and his family; his eyes suddenly turned dark, from anger and perhaps desire. Desire for the woman he loved so much and he would probably have to see again. He sighed looking giving up knowing there was no other way around.

"Okay I will call her…." He said looking away from David.

"Good, let me make some calls as well…I would leave you to it….." Dave said with a smirk on his face. As angry and tired as they both were he knew better than anyone what Emily Prentiss meant to Hotch and their history together.

**London England, Present Time**

Emily carefully untangled her naked body from Liam's arms, and slid out of bed cautiously without disturbing her boyfriend. She wrapped her slim frame on Liam's white crisp shirt that had been abandoned on the floor, _while they were making love last night_. She carefully made her way to the bathroom and rinsed her face, she wasn't sure why she wasn't sleep yet, after the wonderful dinner she had and the undivided attention Liam had given her once they were back at her flat, she should be sufficiently worn out to go to sleep. She looked at her reflection in the mirror as she dried her face, the dark eyes under were eyes were even more evident without her usual make up. Being a posh Head of the Interpol Office, _as Clyde often referred to her_, was definitely a very difficult job for Emily Prentiss. She was in charge of so many different things, the constant demands from other organizations, governments, and even Clyde himself keep Emily on her toes. She was happy though, she was the leader of an entire team, one she had grown very fond off, especially Lina, and her life was slowly becoming something she could get used to.

She had an amazing boyfriend who loved her and respected her, and a job that most would dream about. She came out of the bathroom and stood by the foot of the bed watching the Irish man on her bed sleep. A small smile crept around her face, she really liked Liam and enjoy her time with him, he was kind and passionate and their sex life was actually very good. Her phone started vibrating on her nightstand and Emily sighed hoping it wasn't a case, she slowly disconnected the phone from its charger and patted out of the bedroom without waking Liam. She pressed the phone to her ear without even looking at the caller ID.

"Prentiss" She said into her dark living room.

"Emily… its me" Emily's breath caught on her throat and her heart dropped.

"Hotch" she said in shock "What is going on?" They hadn't really talk in over two years, him calling her at three in the morning was probably not a good thing.

"I am sorry to call this late, you know I will never call you unless it was important" The Unit Chief said in a quiet tone, Emily knew that tone and it was never good news.

"What is wrong Hotch?" Now her heart was beating very fast, she quietly sent a prayer hoping nobody in the team, _her family,_ was hurt

"Is everyone okay?" she asked concerned.

"Everyone is fine, I just…I need a favor" he paused taking a deep breath "Emily you know I would never call unless it was so important…." She _knew that_ more than anyone, despite everything that had happened between them she still cared about him. And she could help him with something she would.

"What is going Aaron, talk to me?" she said softly sitting on her couch, as Sergio her Abyssinian black cat lurked around her ankles.

"Is a case…." Hotch started "A few months ago the team picked a case… a serious of murders, prostitutes mostly…different cases throughout the states….the unsub left a note for the families, written by the victims."

"I think I heard about them" Emily said thoughtfully "We had a similar case in Ukraine a while back…" Emily responded thinking back of that case, it wasn't really an Interpol case, but her and her team had been called to the crime scene and it was very gory. Whoever was the unsub he was attacking prostitutes and high end escorts, then he had killed them after he made them write a note to their relatives; describing everything the unsub had done to doe, revealing their worst fears.

"There is at least eight different cases across Europe, starting with a murder in Belarus" Hotch added

"Wait the case in Ukraine could related" she said confused "But the Russian woman in the alley's MO is completely different ?" She asked, there was another similar killing in Russia three months ago, but with a different MO. "How is that even related?" she asked frowning in the dark

"We think so…..I am afraid there are more cases we just haven't link them together" Hotch said rubbing his friend tiredly.

"Why are you so sure is related Hotch" Emily asked genuinely intrigued, she truly trusted Hotch's gut.

"All the victims here in the states have been already confirmed, their autopsy reports show traces of sage…._burnt sage_" he added in a painful tone. Emily froze she knew exactly what that mean, especially what it meant to Hotch.

"Hotch _are you sure_…I never read the toxicology report in our cases here, it could be completely unrelated…. besides there is no way Mr. Scratch will make you follow him all the way to Europe" She reasoned

"Is him Emily, I know is him…he is taunting me…he is playing with us" the time his voice broke down, and Emily knew better than anyone what Mr. Scratch had done to Hotch and what he was capable of doing. Despite everything that had happened between her and Hotch, she trusted him with her life and she knew he would not be begging her for help if he was absolutely sure.

"Aaron you need to be careful…..if Peter Lewis is involve….." she couldn't finish the sentence, George Foyet had nearly destroy his life, she couldn't even imagine losing him for another unsub.

"I know Em, but I wont let him get away this time, he would never come near my family again. I need to do this Emily….." she knew better than anyone how much Hotch had lost already in the hands of a different unsub. He had killed his wife and attempted to go after Jack, she knew how much pain Foyet had cause him. Now Mr. Scratch was doing the same, the BAU had been chasing him blindly for about fours years, and he was back.

"Okay what do you need me to do?" Emily asked without hesitation, he didn't even need to ask, Emily would do anything for him.

"The case isn't ours anymore, the bureau is breathing down my back, after Foyet and Doyle" Hotch rubbed his forehead tiredly, his head was pounding "And after the recent incident with JJ. They are taking the case away from us, the state department wont even let us consult anything regarding Peter Lewis…" Hotch explained taking a deep breath, Emily knew exactly what he was going to ask next

"If my suspicions are correct 7 out of 11 murders happened in Europe" He proceeded cautiously; knowing fully well what he was asking Emily wasn't easy.

"Interpol has jurisdiction" Emily closed her eyes biting her lip.

He was asking her to do one of the most difficult things of her life…t_ake a case away from the State Department to help Hotch_.

That would mean skipping permission from Clyde and the British and American Government's to investigate and prosecute an American unsub in a different country, for a case she wasn't even working. Emily would have to overrule not only her boss authority but the embassy her own government and many other police entities. He was asking her _to put her entire career at risk_, by taking a case she wasn't authorized to investigate. She took a deep breath knowing this was one of the most difficult decisions she had ever made…

"Please Emily…..if we don't get Mr. Scratch now…." He said in a with such desperation in his voice it broke her heart. Emily closed her eyes again, knowing she might lose everything again, but she would be a fool if she let Mr. Scratch or any other fool come near her family again, near Aaron and Jack.

"Okay….. I'll do it" she without thinking again.

"I will get all the information we have on the cases here as soon as I arrive to work in the morning….." She said in in hard tone knowing fully well this might cost her everything, including her career and life.

"I can arrange a flight to D.C as soon as possible, however I have a feeling if is really Mr. Scratch, he is here in Europe…"

"I know…" Hotch agree "The jet is already ready to take us down there….." he said cautiously still waiting for her to fully agree to this, him taking the team to London was opening another Pandora box reveling all sorts of issues for her and him. Emily should have known better, but she sighed rubbing her eyes tiredly.

"Okay just be safe, and I will see you guys when you get here….."

"Emily thank you…..you have no idea what this means to me" he said softly

"I know Aaron" She knew it he didn't have to say it "Just get here safely"

"Thank you Emily"

"Aaron" she called his attention again "We will get him, _I promise you_…" with that she hung up the phone placing it on the coffee table as she dropped her face in her hands.

She wasn't actually sure she was ready for this, Hotch coming to London was something she have never expected to happened _ever_. Now he was just A few hours away, and she was about to risk her job, her life and _even_ then man she was currently with.

She was happy and flourishing at Interpol, and London was beginning to feel like home_. Yes_, her job was very demanding and hard, but she excelled at it, and the directors were impressed with her abilities. She was comfortable with the little life she had built, her friends and now her daily routine. She did work some insane ours, but she still managed to have coffee or even a drink once at week with Alina. She even had her regular coffee shop, gym and favorite restaurant. She enjoyed her time off, at home with her cat; just reading books and drinking wine. She spent as much time as she could with Liam, and while they both had very odd hours, they still found time for each other. Liam had happened when she least expected, she wasn't actually ready for a relationship, but she realized she couldn't sit around moping for Aaron Hotchner.

She was quite young _still_ and beautiful, she deserved a chance to be happy again. It had been hard but she gave a chance to Liam and she was quickly falling for him. Maybe she would never love him they way she loved Aaron, but Liam make her happy. He was sweet and kind with her, he had probably treated her better than anyone in her entire life had_ including_ Aaron himself. Sex was good, it would never be as magical and cosmic as it was with Hotch but it was still sensational and she had Liam eating out of the palm of her hand. There was nothing that man wouldn't do for her, and maybe with time she could fully love him with all her heart, at least she was trying. But Aaron coming back into her life could seriously jeopardize not only her mental stability but her emotions and her feelings towards Liam.

"_Dammit!" _she whispered angrily, just when she thought she was finally over Aaron Hotchner she had to see him again… and honestly she wasn't ready for it.

_**Here I am, playing with those mem'ries again,**_

_**And just when I thought time had set me free,**_

_**Those thoughts of you keep taunting me.**_

_**Holding you, a feeling I never outgrew,**_

_**Though each and ev'ry part of me has tried,**_

_**Only you can fill that space inside,**_

_**So there's no sense pretending, my heart is not mending,**_

_**Just when I thought I was over you,**_

_**And just when I thought I could stand on my own,**_

_**Oh, baby those mem'ries come crashing through,**_

_**And I just can't go on without you**_

"_**Your memory feels like home to me. So whenever my mind wanders, it always finds it's way back to you." ― Ranata Suzuki**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Loving You Forever is What I Need Chapter Four**_

"_**As if I could stop loving you. As if I would want to give up the thing that makes me stronger than anything else ever has. Since the first time I saw you, I have belonged to you completely." -Cassandra Clare**_

When Alina walked into the office early in the morning she was surprised to see Emily already at her desk, it wasn't as if the Chief of the Interpol Office didn't work long hours. She just assumed she had spent the night with Liam; and maybe for once in her life, she would show up to work after seven in the morning. But it was barely past six and the brunette woman was already typing something frantically on her laptop with a cup of coffee next to her.

"Wow this is new I didn't expected to see you here this early...?" Alina stated teasing her friend, Emily in response just looked at her straight faced.

"I mean, not that you aren't here early every day" Alina added quickly taken aback by Emily's straight face

"_You know_, I just figured Liam would keep you home..._late_" she added choosing her words carefully. Emily's unimpressed face made Alina quickly go from teasing her friend to actually being worried about her.

"Okay what is wrong?" She asked sitting in front of Emily and examining her friends' stern expression

"Nothing"

"Emily"

"Nothing is wrong Lina; I am just reviewing some information on a case I just picked up" Emily replied without looking at her friend.

"Case?" She asked all of the sudden looking at her phone "I didn't get anything from Clyde about a case?" She was frowning checking her emails "Did the bastard forgot to send me the info again"

"_Nope_, this came directly to me" Emily replied her eyes still on her computer, that made Alina stare at Emily with curiosity.

"So does Clyde knows about this?" Alina asked although she already knew the answer.

"Uhm _No, he doesn't_, it was my decision to take the case?"

"Okay so what's the case?" Alina frowned, Emily's behavior was definitely odd, especially if Clyde had absolutely no idea about the case in question.

"Is something that came to me last night from some murders in the US?" Emily responded not really in the mood to discuss her decision with anyone.

"Why is Interpol working a murder case from the US that's not regular protocol. And why isn't Clyde aware of this? Don't we like need permission from the Major? and Clyde and well basically the government" The European woman said worried and confused with Emily's secrecy

"Look! I don't have to justify my decisions to you, or the cases I take o_kay_" Emily finally snapped taking her friend aback and looking at her in shock

Emily took a deep breath closing her eyes and sighing, feeling immediately guilty for losing her temper with one of her very close friends

"I am sorry" she said putting her palm out and rubbing her forehead.

"Emily what is going on?" Alina asked genuinely concerned

"I am just helping a friend with a case" She said softly "Some of the murders are international so it takes jurisdiction away from the FBI"

"Wait your helping the FBI?" Aliana repeated incredulously

"Yes I am"

"_Your helping the FBI_" She repeated to make sure she heard her friend right "And Clyde has absolutely no idea you are doing this" She added still unable to believe what her friend was saying

"I take neither the embassy or Major Hancock know your taking this case?"

"No they don't" Emily said looking at Alina sternly

"Emily" the blonde woman started shaking her head knowing fully well the severity of her friend's actions

"Listen Alina you don't have to work this case with me, you can go home _and_ take some time off...okay? This is my decision which means I will take responsibility or it" Emily clarified

"_No Emily_ I don't give a damn about that" Alina responded irritated, finally snapping at her friend

"What I need you to do is _tell me_ what is so damn important that you are willing to risk everything...including _your job_?" Alina reasoned, but Emily didn't responded

"What is this case so important that you can't even tell me, you tell me everything, why can't you tell me what is going one" she was now getting upset and Emily's short answers were just making her more uneasy. She really thought that Emily trusted her.

Emily stood up from her desk and walked towards the window wrapping her arms around her slim frame. She bit her lip closing her eyes for a second and the turning to look at her friend, putting her job on the line was one thing but dragging Alina into her mess was a very different thing.

"I am helping Hotch track down Peter Lewis AKA Mr. Scratch" She finally said looking at Alina with a mixture of concern and fear.

"_Hotch_? Your Hotch? Aaron Hotchner from the BAU?" Alina asked looking at Emily in shock

"Yes"

"The man who broke your heart and made you leave everything behind including your dream job"

"Yes" Emily said again annoyed, Alina processed the information looking at Emily again, if she was really wiling to risk so much there had to be a very good reason behind her actions, as much as Emily pissed her off sometimes she trusted her with her own life.

"Well... that explains why you are freaking out" she simply said raising her eyebrows

"I am not freaking out" Emily said defensively

"Right" Alina gave her the same unimpressed face Emily gave her all the time

"Your about to _not only _put your job and career in jeopardy but you are also helping the man who broke your heart which means you will have to see him again, after all this time_... and_ you still love this man I might add" Alina smirked shaking her head

"Alina _please_ just don't !" Emily begged running a hand through her hair "Look I will say it again you don't have to do this okay? Is my decision"

"Emily you know I will always have your back a 100% even when it means putting my job at risk as well, I don't give a damn about that..." Her hard green eyes softened a bit looking at her friend and boss with genuine concern

"But don't look me in the eye and lie to me when I know you better than anyone here."

"I fine please don't worry about me" Emily softened her tone as well reaching for her friend's arm

"No you are not, I know you are not" the blonde woman replied " Just please promise you will talk to me when you are ready...or if this gets to much to handle"

"I mean this is got to be super hard for you, but we are friends and you can talk to me always"

Emily just bit her lip smiling sadly

"I don't really want to talk about it, okay? "

"I know, but just know that I am here for you" Alina finally smiled "And if he does anything at all to hurt you while he is here...I will beat the shit out of his ass" she warned

Emily smirked reaching for her friend and hugging her, she wasn't okay, she was terrified to see Hotch again, she was worried about the decision she was making and the consequences this will bring to her and all the innocent people she was bringing into this mess, especially Alina.

"Thanks so much for everything" she said blinking her tears away "Alina I will tell you one more time...you don't have to- "

"Emily with all due respect shut up" Alina cut her up putting her hands out

"Now can you brief me about this case before your prince charming gets here"

Emily laughed and sat at her desk again, updating Alina on all the information she had about Mr. Scratch and the files Hotch had sent her, including the cases they had in Europe. The original case about Peter Lewis and what it meant to Hotch, and the team.

Now Alina finally understood what I Emily was taking the case and it only make her admire her friend even more. She already knew the brunette woman was kind and compassionate but she couldn't believe she will risk everything to save the man who hurt her, and his sweet son.

Around nine in the morning Emily saw the team arrive through the glass walls of her office, she was overwhelmed by a mixture of happiness, from seeing her family again. Fear of seeing Hotch's face again, anger at the fact that her team, her family, was being taunted again by monster and then ... just full determination on getting Mr. Scratch and seeing Hotch and his children safe again.

"There she is" said Dave smiling at the sight of the woman he considered a daughter, Emily couldn't help herself to fully smile as David Rossi wrapped her in a warm hug kissing each of her cheeks, making Emily giggle and holding on to him for a second longer.

"Oh God I miss you sooo much" Emily said, but as soon as David released her; she found herself wrapped in a thigh hug from JJ.

"You have no idea how happy I am to see you" The blond woman said feeling her eyes burning "You have to take the to best bars and stores and everywhere"

"Is a promise" Emily said releasing JJ and focusing on Spencer who still had the same baby face he always had.

"Oh my little genius" She said pulling Reid into a hug as well. Then she was face to face with Morgan's suave smile and he immediately pulled her into his arms swinging her around.

"You look amazing princess"

"Is so great to see you guys" She said turning to look at Hotch finally, her heart was beating so fast she was sure her heart was going to explode. He was just as handsome as always, he did look tired, but his stern sexy face that made her weak on her knees was looking at her, a smile finally crept into his face revealing those dimples Emily loved so much.

"Emily" he said reaching to touch her arm gingerly

"Hotch is good to see you" Emily said feeling her cheeks blush, and a pinch on her heart at the awkward greeting; lacking the warmth the whole team had given her.

"Welcome to London" she said looking at everyone

"Guys this is Interpol Agent Alina DeJoung she would be assisting us with the investigation"

"Alina this are Agents Rossi, Jareau, Morgan, Dr Reid and Unit Chief Agent Hotchner"

"Is a pleasure" Alina said shaking everyone's hand and giving Hotch an approving look smirking at Emily in a teasing way.

She could clearly see why Emily was madly in love with him. Liam was very handsome man yes indeed, but he was the kind of sexy you see at a Calvin Klein magazine models. Hotch was a whole different kind of good looking, he was the manly and strong kind, the intimidating kind that would have a woman at verge of an orgasms with a deep stern. He was the George Clooney kind of handsome, masculine and strong, the kind who could intimidate anyone including serial killers, but could easily have a woman writhing in pleasure beneath those strong arms. One more time Alina looked at the Unit Chief with a mischievous look winking at Emily. Thankfully the team was overjoyed with seeing their so beloved friend to notice.

Emily's cellphone ringing on her hip pulled her out of her thoughts, and distracted her friend as well.

"Alina can you please show the team the conference room where we would be working at" Emily said taking her phone and walking away and pressing the answer button.

"Absolutely"

"Prentiss" she said into her phone as team walked away

"What in the bloody hell is wrong with you" Clyde barked on the phone "Are you out of your mind?" it was obvious that Clyde knew by now what was going on judging his attitude

"It was my call Clyde I will explain whoever I have to explain"

"Well you better start explaining_ me_" he barked furiously "So _I can explain_ the thousands of authorities who will be calling me to ask why has Interpol taken a case they have absosultly no business working"

Emily just closed her eyes praying her decision wouldn't actually have serious consequences.

"Clyde I am begging you to please just...back me up on this?"

"Are you fucking serious?" I have the US State Department on the phone asking why Interpol requested the BAU to participate on a case they haven't fully release"

"The murders are international Interpol has jurisdiction"

"Aren't you listening" he was seething "The case was being investigated by the state department; they took it away the from the BAU. You taking the case from them is a slap on their faces Emily" Clyde said incredulously

"I know that" Emily bit her lip choosing her words carefully "There are seven murders here in Europe, one of them happened 20 miles away from Interpol...we aren't taking the case away...we are simply investigating the part of the murders happening in our country... I only brought the BAU because the MO's in _our murders here_ are so similar to their murder cases...this was a whole different investigation I am doing"

"An investigation you weren't authorized to start" Clyde reminded her still furious with her

"Because there was no time...if my suspicions are correct we will have more innocent people die very soon"

"And if your wrong not only your career is over, but so is mine, and so is the integrity of Interpol, are you bloody crazy? This could cost London Government billions Emily"

"I know Clyde...I need you to please trust me...I am begging you"

"You are asking me to trust you?" He asked furiously

"Are you for real? You went behind my back and Interpol's protocol to take a case you weren't authorized to work? And you want me to trust you?"

"Then go ahead fire me Eastern...but I will not sit here watching more innocent people die" Emily said hanging up the phone on Clyde and grunting angrily

"Dammit"

She placed her phone back on her pocket and she was about to go meet the team at the conference room when Alina and Hotch rushed towards her their expressions full of panic and worry.

"What is going on"

"Metropolitan Police police just called, they found a body in Liverpool, it matches the MO from our cases" Alina said 

"Is him, lets go" she said as she rapidly walked back to the conference room to speak to the rest of team

"Okay we going to have to divide in two teams, Reid and JJ I need you to stay here and start going over Victimology" Emily said in her in Unit Chief tone "I will have Agent Kawler help you out...he works for our Secret Service Division , he is great" Reid nodded getting back to work on the papers he had already spread across the long table.

"We already the profile but we need to know why he chose these people he is obviously trying to tell us something...and know he know you are here that is why he killed again"

"Hotch, Rossi and I would go to the crime scene" Emily stated "If we can find another connection we can maybe determine what made him come to Europe in the first place"

"Alina can you take Morgan and get some Intel about our conversation earlier" Emily exchanged glances with her friend without sharing more details with the team "Then meet me us the crime scene"

"Absolutely Emily" Alina said going full agent mode "Lets go Agent Morgan" and the dark skin man followed her with a coy smile on his face.

Morgan watched the gorgeous European woman as she approached the surveillance car, started walking towards for the right side of the car then remembering he was in London so we walked back to the left side

"What Agent driving from the right side is too big for you" Alina teased

"I was thinking more that I have absolutely no idea where are we going" He smirked

"Regarding the _"intel" _thing Emily needs from you" he said making air quotes. Alina just started the car and drove away placing her dark shades on her eyes.

"I suppose you wont tell me what this secret mission Emily sent you to is"

"If she didn't want to tell you I wouldn't have brought you along" the woman responded rolling her eyes, Morgan already liked her feistiness and smart replies something about the woman made him feel pretty at ease.

"Fair enough"

"How long have you and Emily been friends for" He ask flipping the visor on his car, as the sun raised highly around the busy city of London.

"What makes you think we are friend's" she teased

"Well for instance she has you doing some sort of especial mission which means she trusts you deeply, otherwise she wouldn't have sent you along with one of the best profiler the BAU has ever seen" He said cockily

"I thought Emily was the best profiler the BAU ever had" Alina said defensively "And I am pretty sure she is just making me babysit you that is why sent you along" Morgan chuckled shaking his head, already liking this woman who seem to be someone special in Emily's life.

"We meet when Emily was working for the CIA about maybe fifteen years ago" she said after a few minutes of silence she started talking again

"That is long time ago" Morgan considered realizing this woman was closer to Emily than he guessed.

"Where you part of the Doyle case?"

"No, I wasn't" she replied easily " I mean I didn't go undercover but I was part of the investigation"

"So how long did you work CIA" he asked curiously

"Oh I wasn't t working the CIA, I just meet Emily there"

"I don't understand"

"I was a security specialist for the NASA"

"Wait what...?" Morgan said in shock

"I basically oversaw the security of several law enforcement agencies including CIA, Interpol, Australian Federal Police, NCIS" she said as she droved around The Thames River. "So I had access to all their database and security systems..."

"Wow" he said clearly surprised "Now I can see why you becoming Emily's friend" he teased

"Meaning" the European woman gave him a straight face

"You are a nerd, just like Emily" Alina smirked rolling her eyes, there was something sexy about the dark skin man.

"Yeah I guess you could say that"

"She is good people... Emily you know" Alina added after a few seconds

"I know that" Morgan watched the woman carefully she obviously respected and loved Emily

"She is like a sister to me...in fact she is my sister"

"Yeah I heard she talks very fondly of you" Alina said looking at him, he was indeed a very handsome man

Meanwhile Emily drove Hotch and Rossi to the crime scene, they hadn't really had a chance to a catch up or tell each other more than two words before they were dragged into a crime scene.

When they arrived Emily was surprised to see Clyde already there, his expression made Emily's stomach churn. He was beyond pissed and she could see it on his eyes. She was in deep shit, but she will deal with that later

"Eastern" Hotch said as a greeting, he had never liked the British man especially when he had refused to provide information to save Emily from Doyle 

"Hello Agent Hotchner" Clyde said in a very harsh tone making Emily sent him a warning and pleading look.

"Agent Rossi nice to see you again" the change of Clyde's tone of voice was evident causing everyone to tense up. But Hotch could care less, his stern face hadn't even flinch at Clyde's not so subtle rude behavior.

"Lets talk to the officers" Emily offered breaking the tension and walking towards the Metropolitan Police.

"Agent Prentiss" said a young blonde officer "Deputy Head Eastern" he said shaking Clyde's hand

"Samson" Emily greeted "These are Agents Hotchner and Rossi from the FBI"

"FBI?" the young man said impressed

"We are assisting with the investigation of some related homicides" Said Rossi

"What do you have?" Hotch asked

"A young woman, probably in her late thirties, a prostitute most likely given the area and attire" the man explained "There was this message left on her" the guy said passing a note to Clyde

"It's a suicide note is very gory...it pretty much describes how she died" he explained with a sad expression

"Anything else left on the scene" Emily asked

"We are still looking around but nothing this specific"

"There is something in her hand" Rossi pointed out leaning to look closer at the body.

The young guy leaned down taking what it looked like piece wrapped on the victim's hands

"Is a photograph" he said unfolding the bloody paper and handing it to Clyde, who observed the picture and Emily could see the veins o his forehead tensed up, his expression changed from anger to fear and the pure hatred.

"Bloody hell I knew this would happen" he said angrily

"What is it?" Emily asked taking the picture from him, and sharing it with Hotch, his heart dropped and he felt his mouth beginning to dry. It was a picture of Emily, and him, the picture had been taking obviously from far away. They were walking near a coffee shop in Washington and Hotch had his arms around Emily's waist from behind, and she as smiling. The picture was kinda blurry since it was taken from a weird angle, but it was evident that it was Emily, her image was covered in blood and the letters _"Do you see Mr Scratch?" _

"Son of a bitch" Hotch said angrily Emily took the picture from his hand and a warm feeling started spreading across her body, she wasn't sure if it was anger, fear or panic but she was unable to respond for a second. She just stood there looking at the picture unable to say anything.

"Okay Agent Hotchner I am in...I will make the calls and I can guarantee you Interpol will do anything in their ability to catch this bastard." Clyde said angrily

"But if something happens _to her_ because of you I will destroy you mark my words I will" Clyde barked warningly waving his finger in front of him

"I will not let him come near hear" Hotch replied in the same tone getting closer to him and showing absolutely no fear from the British man in fact he only feel the urge to the beat the hell out of him "Even if it means my life I will protect her from him" his eyes were boring into his

"Oh whatever Hotchner" Clyde waved his had dismissing him "You have caused more damage to her than anyone else so save your rubbish bullshit for someone else" he bit looking at him furiously

"That is none of your business Eastern, _me and her_, stay out of it" Hotch barked looking at him with one of those looks he usually save for serial killers

" Ahh Sod off Hotchner before I beat the hell out of you" Clyde said unnerved ready to punch him in the face

"Clyde! Aaron please this isn't the time for this " Emily stepped in the middle of both to prevent the man from actually killing each other.

Clyde took a step back but his firm expression remained glued to Hotch's stern face, who only like back at him with such as scary intimidating look. Emily knew Hotch wasn't intimidated by Clyde, in fact there was really nothing in this world Hotch was intimidated by.

"Aaron please..." Emily made eye contact with begging him

"I'll meet you back at the office darlin' " Clyde stated walking away from them. "You have been warned Agent Hotchner"

"Back at you" His tone as dangerous as ever and his firm stare followed the British man until his was lost from his sight

"I am sorry" She apologized to police officers rubbing her temple tiredly, and shaking her head angrily at Hotch

"Officer Samson can you send me everything to have to the Interpol office, I would also need to request a toxicology report in case she was drugged with anything " She said directing to the younger officer again.

"Of course Ma'am" the guy quickly started taking notes and walking away from her.

"Are you okay gatinna" David said reaching to touch her arm gently

"Yeah I am okay..." she said dismissively "Let me call Alina to see where she and Morgan are at" she pulled her phone as she walked away

Rossi went back to talk to the police officer in case any other details were missing from the scene. Hotch however, caught up with Emily before she could call the other woman, grabbing her arm softly and turning her to look at him

"I meant it Emily" he repeated looking at her so intensely it made her shiver

"I will protect you even if it means my own life" he vowed

"I know and I am not worried about it okay..." she assured him

"God! you are more beautiful than ever" Hotch said all of the sudden staring into her gorgeous black eyes and and perfectly long eyes lashes.

"Aaron" Emily said trying to stop him feeling her checks warm up and blush her head was starting to spin and making her feel uneasy

"I haven't stop thinking about all these years not even for a second" he confessed his eyes full of sadness and regret

Emily just stared into his eyes, unable to say anything, every single time she was near him, she lost her ability to think, speak or function. Looking at those deep stern eyes that used to make her explode in anger an ecstasy, those eyes that stole her heart so many years ago.

"_**They say a good love is one that sits you down, gives you a drink of water, and pats you on top of the head. But I say a good love is one that casts you into the wind, sets you ablaze, makes you burn through the skies and ignite the night like a phoenix; the kind that cuts you loose like a wildfire and you can't stop running simply because you keep on burning everything that you touch! I say that's a good love; one that burns and flies, and you run with it!"― C. JoyBell C.**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Loving You Forever Is What I Need Chapter Five**_

"_**Maybe I was destined to forever fall in love with people I couldn't have. Maybe there's a whole assortment of impossible people waiting for me to find them. Waiting to make me feel the same impossibility over and over again." **_

― _**Carol Rifka Brunt**_

Morgan watched as the landscape in front of him changed from the beautiful tall buildings of London, to an urban area, and then just empty land. He watched the European woman drive very concentrated on the road ahead of her. They had been driving for at least forty minutes and he was starting to go antsy. He had no idea where they were going or what was going on.

"Where are we at?" he questioned looking around for anything that could give him any clues to where he was at.

"Where near West Kingsdown, about 45 miles from the city" She replied with ease switching lanes.

"Alina where are we going?" He finally asked getting frustrated with the lack of information he was getting.

"You will see in a minute" Alina said pulling into a wooded are near a lake, and Morgan knew they were definitely in the middle of nowhere, a strange feeling spreading across his body. Those weird feelings people randomly get; that he was about to be murdered and left on the woods. When the driver finally stopped the car, they were in front of a black Limousine with two man in dark suits waiting outside, that didn't help him feel any better. He turned to look at Alina with a puzzled face, but she just got out of the car so he was quick to follow. One of the man held the door open for her and gestured to get in, she turned to Morgan, telling him to follow her with her eyes.

Morgan contemplated his options for a second; watching at the men apprehensively, okay Emily had sent him there, she would obviously never have sent him somewhere he was a risk of danger so he just acknowledged the man and followed Alina inside the car. When they were inside the car; they were face to face with a very old man, wearing a very elegant suit and smoking a cigar. The man clearly came from a lot of money judging by the expensive suit and car.

"Miss DeJoung" the man said in a deep tone, his accent was Italian from what Morgan could guess "Is a pleasure to see you again, you are as beautiful as ever"

"Archi" she said simply smirking at him " I appreciate you meeting us, with such a short notice"

"Of, course" the man said blowing away the smoke from his cigar "Anything for Emily... _and you_ of course" then man finally focused on Morgan with his deep blue eyes

"Please excuse my manners" he extended his hand "Archibald Vichada"

"Derek Morgan, FBI" he said unable to believe what the older gentleman was saying.

Derek heard of this man before many times, he was a word classified secret agent; who had spent decades apprehending the most dangerous terrorist and mafia dealers around Europe especially the Italian Mafia. No one had actually ever meet the man, they just described him as a very dangerous and intimidating man who most people feared. He had taken down some of the most dangerous criminals around the world. He was also known for his very unorthodox methods of torture, and ability to make his victims turn in their leaders. He was from what Morgan had heard one of the most intimidating man around Europe.

"Agent Morgan _here_ is helping Emily and I with our investigation" Alina explained with a fond smile

"You must be an excellent agent" The man simply said with a curios grin

"How do you know Emily...?" Morgan asked curiously instead

"Lets see... I know...from well _all her life_, her parents and I were very close...I know Emily since she was in her mother's womb" the man said taking a long drag from his cigar. Morgan just watched him still unsure what was he doing in the car of one of the most dangerous man that Europe had ever know.

"That is pretty impressive" the younger profiler said

"Welll Archi lets get straight to business shall we"

"Ach' I'd guess you are right" he said snapping his fingers, the glass window that separated the back of the limousine from the driver side opened and dark skin guy handed Archibald a small recording monitor, very similar to an IPad.

He then turned his attention back to Alina and Morgan opening the screen and handing it to Alina, who took it immediately and started watching it. it was small video clip, at first it looked like some random neighborhood, but when Morgan paid closer attention he realized it was Hotch's house.

"What the hell is this?" He asked in shock still not knowing what was going on but Alina just continued to watch the video without paying attention to him. Morgan observed as Beth left the front door of the house she shared with Hotch, with Jack walking next to her, and their two-year-old son in her arms. After she secured the toddler on the car sit, Jack and her got on the car and drove away. Nearly a minute later a black van started following them.

"I knew it, that piece of shit" Alina murmured angrily

"Do you want me to proceed with our plan?' The older man asked looking at her deeply, Morgan didn't know what the hell was going on but for the fist time in a very long time he was beginning to panic and he wasn't really sure if he could trust Alina, is she had set him up or she was betraying Emily he was in deep shit. However, Alina pulled out her phone and dialed a number placing the phone on speaker.

"Prentiss" he heard Emily's voice

"Emily the bird has taken off" she simply said Morgan watched her in confusion frowning at her, things got more uncomfortable each second.

"Okay" he heard Emily take deep breath "Take the plunge" and then the call ended.

"You heard her" Alina simply said looking at the older man. "Take the plunge"

"Your wishes are my command milady" he said softly "Tel Emily I will take care of everything" Morgan had never been so confused in his life, his heart was beating crazily. There was no way Emily was involved in this was she, Emily couldn't betray Hotch could she? What the hell was going on why was this man stalking Beth? Before he could do anything or even speak Alina got out of the car and he followed her staring at her in shock.

"Okay let's get out of here"

"No" Morgan said harshly watching the limousine drive away

"Not until you tell me what the hells is going on and why is that man stalking Hotch's wife" he said in shock

"And how the hell do you know Archibald Vichada...do you know who that man is?"

"Of course I know who he is, everyone in Europe knows who he is"

"What the hell is going on"

"Morgan just get in the car and I will explain okay"

"No" he said angrily "Are you working for Peter Lewis" he asked feeling his stomach drop.

"What?!" Alina said frowning "Are you mental? _Of course not_"

"Then what the hell is going on, and why are you stalking Beth, does Emily know about this?"

"Of course she does" The woman replied exasperated "Look Morgan we are not stalking her...Emily is just keeping an eye on her.. the van you watched go after her isn't ours or Arch's is Mr. Scratch"

"What?"

"Emily had a feeling Lewis was trying to lurk Hotch away from D.C so he could go after Jack and his family that is why he started killing here in Europe, it was a trap for Hotch"

"What? Are you serious? " Morgan said shaking his head his head; how could they have not see that at "We need to call Hotch" he said pulling out his cellphone

"No you don't" she reached snatching his phone from him "Listen to me, Hotch's family is safe, that video you watched isn't his wife or child"

"I don't understand"

"Is a set up for Mr Scratch" she explained "Emily had a feeling about this so she contacted Archibald, he sent people to Hotch's house and they waited until he left for London. Nearly a second later they went in to get the kids and Beth. However, they never left the house, the only made it seem like they did" she explained

"That doesn't make any sense I saw the video, I saw Jack and Beth and Jayden get on that car"

"Is not them, is someone who looks like them, they just wanted to make Mr. Scratch think it was them:" she explained "They are safe, I don't know where they are at, but he will keep them safe"

"That man is scary and dangerous ..." he said still baffled "How can you trust this man?"

"I trust him more than I trust myself, and anyone in this world, please believe me when l say he would keep them safe..."

"Does Hotch know about this..."

"Emily is probably telling him now...we couldn't can't risk our phones being intercepted without putting the children in danger" She reasoned, that explained her awkward conversation with Emily on the phone, Morgan was still watching Alina unsure.

"Do you really think Emily will ever do anything to hurt you? or Hotch for that matter?" She asked annoyed

"She brought you guys here risking everything she had for god's sake" the woman said shaking her head in disbelief

"You are right I am sorry" he apologized putting his hands out.

"Good, can we please go back, the team is waiting for us" She gestured as she got on the car with Morgan following her slowly something about the woman couldn't stop from feeling this need to be near her.

Back at the Interpol office, Hotch was sitting at the conference room with David, JJ and Reid going over the information they had on the crime scenes. They were still not sure why Mr. Scratch had made them come all the way to London, and the crime scenes didn't make any sense. Something was missing from the profile, there had be another reason.

"Okay so he didn't just come to London to go after Emily" JJ reasoned examining the glossy pictures on her hands.

"He could have gotten after her without all these killings" Hotch agreed, his stomach churning at the thought of Peter Lewis harming Emily. "All this time he was here in Europe if Emily was his target he would have gone after her along time ago..."

"He came to Europe after something else besides Emily, but the question here is why is he targeting these women, why prostitutes?" Rossi agreed observing the board they have been using for their investigation. "And look at the level of aggression...?"

"Okay so maybe the woman who rejected him?" JJ started throwing in ideas "Or maybe is another childhood trauma? The absence of a motherly figure? A woman he felt in love for and she never reciprocated the feelings"

"That doesn't make any sense Peter Lewis is a sociopath with one of the highest IQ's ever know" Reid startle babbling "He wouldn't just be the kind of person who posed as a victim to anyone especially not with women, he wouldn't just fall for a woman like that, see sociopaths often desensitize from the real world interactions, he wouldn't be able to reach that level of appreciation towards someone... he wouldn't just let someone brake his heart"

"No he just had to induce them into a psychotic brake to make them do what he wanted" Rossi said annoyed

"That doesn't explain why target these women" JJ exclaimed looking at Reid exasperated

"Sorry guys" Emily said all of the sudden walking into the conference room "Hotch can I talk to you for a minute please?"

"Of course is everything okay?" he asked looking at her concerned

"Yeah I just really need to talk to you"

Hotch followed Emily out on the hallway and then into her office, she walked inside closing the door behind her. Making Hotch's frown turn even deeper, he knew she was already upset with him as his comment when he told her he had never stop thinking about her, Emily told him they had enough to worry about and refused to look at him for the rest of the drive back from the crime scene.

"So what is going on...?"

"I need to tell you something...and I need you to not be mad at me" she said tensing up

"Emily just tell me...what is going on" he said with a serious face

"I...when you called me last night and told me about Scratch I knew there was a reason he was trying to drag you out of D.C, away from the kids and Beth...I couldn't really tell you on the phone without risking putting them at risk..." Hotch started feeling his stomach drop at the mention of his children, if something had happened the Jack or Jayde he would never forgive himself.

"Did something happened to them?" He asked pulling out his phone frantically

"No Aaron calm down your children are okay" Emily said reaching for his arm "They are in protective custody"

"What?" He asked aghast, he couldn't risk his children being at risk once again.

"I had the suspicion Scratch wanted you away from the kids so he could follow them, I sent someone there and they got the kids and Beth before Scratch could get to them" she said biting her lip and pulling a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Wait what? Scratch is on D.C? I need to talk to Beth, I need to talk to my kids"

"Aaron please calm down" Emily grabbed both of his arms looking at him "Listen to me please...they are safe...I promise you" he turned to took at her with question in his eyes

"Is Scratch IN D.C?"

"No, I think Scratch is there, he sent someone, his people, well ..they were following Beth..."

"How do you know..."

"A friend of mine was able to sent a team there, they got footage of someone following Beth... or attempting to follow her...so we took them to a safe place. I didn't tell you because I didn't want to risk Scratch intercepting our phone conversation"

"Are they okay...?" He asked, as mad as he wanted to be with her, he couldn't be more thankful for everything she was doing

"They are okay; Beth is okay too..."

"I need to talk to them...I just need to know..."

"Okay I will talk to my friend and I can arrange something...it might have to be a very short call considering everything going on but..."

"No" He stopped her "You are right Emily we cannot take any risks, is better to just leave them there as long as they are safe" Hotch knew that he could trust Emily with his own life

"They are I promise you that, and please don't be mad at me I just..." she said picking at her fingernails, he reached for her hand tenderly looking at her intensely

"Emily I am not mad...I.. thank you for _everything_ you are doing" he moved closer to her

"I have no words... I... you have no idea what this means to me... thank you so much" he gently reached for her cheek running his knuckles along the soft porcelain skin.

"Aaron please don't ...I..." he was looking at her so intensely, the overwhelming desire to pull her to him for a kiss was consuming him. He wasn't really sure he will be able to control himself, having her so close again was killing him.

They were in the middle of her office at the Interpol office, could he risk everything they were doing and their jobs just to kiss her? ... right now he didn't care he took a step forward getting closer to her face.

"Hey love I called earlier but..." Liam stepped inside the office stopping on his tracks, he had actually been sending some emails on his phone so he wasn't actually paying attention. He didn't realize anyone was on her office until he was fully inside. Emily jumped away from Hotch as soon as she heard Liam's voice.

"Hey" she said hoping Liam hadn't seen how close Hotch had been to her face "I was going to call you as soon as I got a chance" she explained nervously

"I am sorry we just got a case and I have been super busy all day..."

"Aye' love is okay" Liam said coming closer and kissing her lips watching warily at the stranger standing in her office.

"Liam this is Agent Hotchner from the FBI, we are assisting his team with a case" Emily said avoiding the glare on Hotch's face.

"Lovely to meet you, Liam O'Donnell Secret Service"

"Nice to meet you" Hotch said giving him one of his deepest sterns, the one Emily had seen giving to the most dangerous killers.

"Sorry about the interruption, I just wanted to talk to Emily really quick..." Hotch in response just scowled deeper at him

"You know my girlfriend" Liam added not moved at all by his deep stern

"Liam please" Emily said in a harsh tone

"Aaron can you give us a moment please I will meet you back at the conference room" she begged Hotch, who continued to glare at the Irish man but after a few more seconds he agreed.

"Of course, excuse me" he added giving Liam one final stern look and walking away

"What is his problem?" Liam asked focusing on Emily

"Nothing, Clyde just picked at case helping the BAU" Emily said, okay it was a white lie but she wasn't in the mood to give anyone explanations

"You will think after Interpol is helping him he would be a little more cordial" Liam said clearly upset by Hotch's attitude and how close he seemed to be with his girlfriend

"He is just stressed...this case isn't easy and we are running out of time"

"They just got here..."

"And we already had another murder this morning not including the twelve homicides happening before we agreed to help..." she replied easily

"Are you okay?" Liam asked finally looking at her deeply she seem flustered

"Yeah l am okay ...I am tired and we don't even have any leads" She was a master and compartmentalizing and hiding her emotions, a part of her feel terrible for lying to him, of course it wasn't like she was doing anything wrong. But explaining her boyfriend she had actually taken the case herself risking her job and career to help his ex was probably not a good conversation to have with anyone.

"I am sorry love anything I can do to help"

"No, thank you, his team is here... we will get to the bottom of this"

"I was hoping I could steel a few hours of your time to have lunch with you" he said disappointed

"I am sorry honey... is a really bad time right now..."

"I know love I understand,...are you sure you are okay?"

"Yeah... yeah I am okay I promise..." Liam watched for a second longer hoping he could read her mind but he also knew she did work pretty tough cases and her job was very demanding

"Okay, I will see you later love" he placed a soft kiss on her lips and he left her office still puzzled about this mystery man and why she seemed so upset. 

Emily closed her eyes sighing in frustration, she wasn't sure she was going to be able to deal with the testosterone battle between Clyde, Hotch and Liam. Now she had bigger problems, she had lied to Liam about the reason for the team being there. It wasn't really a lie technically, Clyde did agree to help the BAU, but she knew she had to explain a lot more to Liam if she told him why she took the case and that wasn't a conversation she was ready to have. Okay Liam did know her ex had broken her heart and hurt her deeply, he just didn't know that ex was Hotch and not he was here in London, because she had put her job at risk to help him...yeah that definitely was something she couldn't explain Liam. On the top of everything now Hotch knew about Liam, not that she cared of course, he was married and had moved on. She had all the rights to be happy and be with whoever she wanted but she saw the way he was glaring at Liam, and it wasn't good at all. She hoped for her sanity none of the two man ended killing each other.

"_**Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within."— James Baldwin**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Loving You Forever Is What I Need Chapter Six**_

"_**Most things are forgotten over time. Even the war itself, the life-and-death struggle people went through is now like something from the distant past. We're so caught up in our everyday lives that events of the past are no longer in orbit around our minds. There are just too many things we have to think about everyday, too many new things we have to learn. But still, no matter how much time passes, no matter what takes place in the interim, there are some things we can never assign to oblivion, memories we can never rub away. They remain with us forever, like a touchstone." ― Haruki Murakami**_

Around four o'clock that afternoon the team was still working at the conference room; Emily really wanted to take them out to dinner, to one of the fancy London restaurants. However, between the murder that morning, the news with Hotch's family and the team trying to come up with a possible reason why Scratch had chosen those specific victims, they barely had time to breath. Now, the team was gathered around the conference room, eating out of to go containers, from the Mediterranean food Alina had order. It was the first time since they had arrived that morning they actually had a chance to talk to Emily about something that wasn't crime scenes or mutilated corpses and really catch up.

"_Noo_, we didn't actually get drunk that night" JJ clarified looking at Alina, who had been clearly entertained hearing some anecdotes about their time together. "We actually end up going back to the BAU, it was that case in Alaska with that kid who was stabbing people to death remember Em..."

"Oh yeah! _wait_" the brunette said frowning "Wasn't that the time when Rossi was out trying to conquest wife number five?" Emily teased taking a sip of her coffee, she had barely touched her food. Laugher filled the room and Rossi turned towards Emily stabbing her plastic fork at her in a joking manner.

"_Hey for the record_, I only had three wives" He stated in a matter if fact tone

"Right sorry Dave" Emily winked laughing

"Actually... around the first century 79 percent of men and 86 percent of women age 15 and over were married once. However, over the course of the years, 54 percent of men and 60 percent of women had married once, which it means the other percentage has been married at least twice in their lives..."

Emily smiled leaning against the chair; she truly loved having the team around, _even_ Spencer with his nerdy rant outs about random statistics. This was the people she had considered family for many years, she still did, being around them again make her so happy.

"Yeah kid, but see" Morgan said with his goofy grin "Rossi _here_ was born before the first century, I am not really sure those statistics apply to him..." he joked around, laughter filled the table once again.

"Please don't make me come there and hit you" Rossi warned joking.

Emily who had been picking at her food, closed the container scrunching up her nose and pushing it out of her way.

"Are you sure you are okay Princess" Morgan asked again, it was the second time he had asked her that in the past hour, she just seemed off.

"Yeah" Emily said smiling "I just have a headache I guess"

"Well maybe if you tried eating for once in your life you would feel better" Alina spat shaking her head

"_I am fine mother!"_ Emily teased rolling her eyes as she stood up throwing the container in the trash can, she wasn't sure why but it was making her feel nauseous

"You barely touched your food" Reid pointed out looking at her with those puppy eyes he used when he was clearly worried about something. Hotch who had been reading the case file turned to look at Emily, watching her close and analyzing her micro expressions, she truly seemed tired and frustrated.

"Gattina you need to take care of yourself" Rossi joined in taking the immediate role of the caring father he always was to Emily

"She always does that shit, work herself until the point of exhaustion..." Alina said standing up as well and taking a bottle of water from the mini fridge "It drives me nuts"

"Do we need to call Garcia and have an intervention?" JJ added just to tease Emily a bit further

"Oh my god, can we NOT do this please" she replied raising her voice a little higher than usual clearly annoyed at the attention she was receiving.

"Someone is grumpy" Alina pointed out looking at her friend straight in the eyes, Emily in response just glared back her tilting her head.

"Fine" the European woman put her hands out surrendering "Jeez what's has gotten into you today?"

"What is going on princess? You know you can talk to us" Morgan asked again coming closer and wrapping Emily in one arm hug.

"Nothing I am fine" She said for what it felt like the 100th time that day "Can we please just get back to work...and let's clear this out if everyone is done the smell is making me sick" said Emily sitting down again and pulling her coffee mug closer to her.

"Are you pregnant?" Spencer asked all of the sudden looking at Emily very calmly and intensely Emily almost chocking with the sip of coffee she had taken. It took her a couple seconds to actually watch her breath and look at the genius boy in front of her. Hotch's heart dropped at Spencer's words and he could feel his skin getting hotter as anger rose within him. He didn't think he could survive Emily pregnant with another man's baby.

"What? Of course not what kind of question is that?" she said in a tone a bit harder than she had ever use with Spencer

"Okay sorry...I just worry ..." but he started blushing and he wasn't able to continue, his gaze dropped down feeling slightly embarrassed asking Emily such a personal question

"Oh my god" JJ almost squealed noticing Emily's clear evasion "Are you pregnant? I am your best friend I am supposed to know everything about you" Emily however didn't take JJ's gab jokingly.

"_Dammit JJ, you too_?" She exclaimed frustrated getting up and walking away from the conference room.

"Is she okay?" Morgan turned to Alina and then the rest of the table a little surprised with Emily's reaction, JJ had been clearly teasing her around.

"She is not pregnant" Alina responded crossing her arms over her chest guessing the teams thoughts "_Trust me_ I will know if she was" Alina added trying to cover up for her friend, the team just look at her with questioning eyes, Emily very seldom lost her tempter like that.

"She has a lot of stress going on alright? and that bastard only makes her job ten times harder"

"What bastard?" JJ asked confused, taken aback by Alina's honesty.

"Eastern! Who else" she replied easily "He left a mess for her to fix, when he was running the team and now she has everyone breathing down her neck including Metro PD, the Major and the higher ups"

"I was under the impression Clyde Eastern was one of the most efficient agents Interpol had" Hotch inquired taking part of the conversation for the first time the whole afternoon, maybe it was jealousy but he just hated Clyde.

"_I mean he is efficient_, that doesn't mean he is always doing his job legally" it has clear Alina didn't really like Clyde either and Hoch wanted to know why.

"What is that's supposed to mean?" Morgan asked his eyes scanning the busy Interpol building searching for the man in discussion.

"He is good at his job don't take me wrong, _he just_... he doesn't always follow policy or protocol...that is probably one of the reasons why he moved up higher... he is really good as an agent but the amount of investigations he was involved in was costing Interpol _a lot_... so they just figured they moved him up higher you know how politics work" she said shrugging her arms

"And now Emily is left with a complete nightmare and she is trying to clean up the dirty dishes Clyde left along the way..."

That didn't surprise Hotch at all, when Emily was kidnaped by Ian Doyle, Clyde's hid important information from the BAU. He was also caught trying to leave the country with a luggage full of money, he stated he was trying to deceive Ian Doyle in order to find Emily. Hotch never really trusted him, he did his job well, but that didn't mean he did it in a legally, that didn't go well with Hotch's super strict values and integrity, he wasn't surprise Emily was stressed because of him, she was to good at compartmentalizing.

"She can handle it" Spencer said looking at them with a thoughtful face "I mean it sucks that he left such a mess for Emily...but she can handle it, she is the best Agent I have known" It was no secret that Spencer was Emily's favorite. Okay she had a very different relationship with each of them, and she loved them all dearly. But Spencer was like the little brother she constantly needed to protect. Emily never teased him around like Morgan or Rossi did, Penelope just spend her days either teasing him of getting on his nerves about his IQ. JJ in her own little way was more sisterly to him, but she teased him around and was constantly pushing to do things he was scared off. Emily however treated him like her little brother, she never teased him around

"Oh I know she is good, she is too good for this damn place and Interpol knows it too, that is why they are pushing her soo hard" Alina agreed

"What do you mean?" Rossi inquired getting a cup of coffee himself, the time difference was starting to catch up with him.

"I mean she could run the whole Interpol Division if she really wanted" Alina raised her eyebrows looking at them.

"She could probably take Clyde's job if she wanted" Morgan agreed

"She had the chance and she didn't take it" the European woman continued

"You are kidding?" Rossi's eyes burrowed

"Are you surprised?" She eyed Rossi "She speaks five languages and was worked across the globe for some of the biggest law enforcement agencies... plus, she is just fucking amazing at her job...so they wanted to take her in and she refused" her eyes close meaningfully.

"She would never betray Clyde like that... again she is too damn good...to hurt anyone especially that ass." Hotch knew very well that was true, Emily could really get any job she wanted.

"There has been another murder in Wales" Emily burst in with her phone on her ear looking very concerned; the team immediately stood up in shock, _the party was over_.

"We will meet you there as soon as possible" they heard her say

"Aaron, Dave Morgan you should come with me to the crime scene" she indicated as she typed away frantically on her phone

"JJ can you please get a hold of Garcia...and find any aliases Mr. Scratch could have used...we need to find how he got into the country without getting anyone's attention..."

"Of course" The blonde said taking her phone and walking away to a quieter area.

"Reid and Alina I am sending you a picture to your phone...it's an encrypted message..."

"We will start right away" Said Reid as he quickly cleared the table away

"What is it Emily..." Hotch asked knowing her face better than anyone, she wasn't telling them everything

"He is changed Victimology" she responded taking a deep breath "The body they found is a male"

"He is evolving" Rossi pointed out worried as Morgan shook his head.

"Let's go" Hotch said rushing out, this wasn't good news, if he had changed Victimology they were back at zero.

When they arrived at the crime scene, Metro PD was there; along with several news stations and Clyde himself. Emily knew this wasn't good news, this could really harm Interpol and their investigation. Things were getting more complicated and she knew that sooner or later Clyde would start snapping at her or other people, he usually did that when he was forced into a very stressful situation.

"What do you have?" Emily asked as calmly as could, while they approached the scene where the police officers were collecting evidence.

"Irish man, early forties...stab to the heart, he has been death for about five hours..." The officer team explain Emily as he showed the covered body on the ground.

"How do you know is connected with our investigation, this MO is completely different from the other crime scenes"

"Well for starters, he is a secret service veteran" Clyde said looking at her anger written all over his face.

"Then there is this..." the officer added uncovering the body and revealing the victim's head. He had the word _Hotch_ written carved into his forehead.

"Oh my god" Emily said covering her mouth and stepping away from the crime scene, feeling more nauseated than she had earlier, everything was started to spin around her.

"Emily are you okay?" Hotch rushed after her immediately grabbing her arm softly.

"This is personal Aaron" she responded without looking at him, her eyes glistening as tears burnt at the back of her eyes.

"He is trying play with us, you can let him get to you" he reasoned, he knew very well Scratch was about power and control

"No Hotch, he is trying to tell us something, this isn't about his childhood anymore, he is taking this way too far" Emily replied as she watched from the corner of her eyes Clyde, Morgan and David approaching them. This wasn't good for interpol or their investigation, if Scratch was evolving things were far from serious, Emily knew very well what he was capable off.

"I am asking the secret service to join us for the rest of the investigation"

"Are you out of your mind?" Emily asked glaring at Clyde.

"Emily he attacked a former member of their agency are you bloody blind?" Clyde said in disbelief "This bastard was able to to hack into their database...this isn't fucking good for us, and now the fucking media is watching everyone of our moves. Do you know what that means for interpol"

"Don't you think I know that...?" She said frustrated "We still have a legal obligation to protect the citizens of our country Clyde and the less people we get involved the better, what good is involving the SS is going to do? " Involving the secret service basically mean dragging Liam into the mess as well and she had enough problems already.

"Dammit Emily this whole investigation can turn into more than just blood and a few bodies don't you understand that... or are you too bloody blind to see that"

"I am not blind Clyde I am not very well what the hell is going on, we just need to be careful" she said trying to remain calm

"Well I am not going on sit here and watch this bastard attack our country while you sit there fucking around with your goddam lover" Clyde stated looking her harshly and pointing at Hotch.

"Don't you fucking dare to talk to her like that _ever again_" Hotch said furiously shoving Clyde away from Emily

"Hey hey... what is going on" Morgan grabbed Clyde before he could go after Hotch and Rossi attempted to grab Hotch to prevent the man from fighting.

"I knew this was going to happen" Clyde continued angrily "And your too bloody blind to see it"

"Get the hell away from her" Hotch warned in a tone Emily had only seen once and it wasn't good he was seething and she could see it., she needed to act soon

"Aaron enough" she spat moving him away from Clyde; while Rossi and Morgan took the British guy towards their vehicle, they were clearly dragging a lot of attention to themselves and neither of their careers could afford that.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" She said furiously once they were far enough from the other to hear.

"With me?" he asked incredulously "He is an asshole...I am not going to allow him talk to you like that Emily I don't care who he is..." Emily had never seen him so angry and it was starting to scare her.

"Aaron stop please we have the news watching and the entire Metro PD" she reminded him in an attempt to calm him down "He is my boss Aaron you cant just attack him"

"_Yes he is_ and he has already left enough bullshit for you to deal with...if he does as much as to raise his voice at you I will kill him" Hotch warned dangerously

"Aaron I am begging you please don't do this we have enough going on" she begged again looking at him "Just please do it for me..."

"If he says anything else to you" he added looking at them as they had gone back to talking to the officers about their crime.

"Aaron I am not going to ask you again _let it go!_..." she said in a tone he knew it wasn't up for discussion, he would never admit it all out but she could be really intimidating when she really wanted to.

"Are you pregnant? " he asked all of the sudden remembering the conversation earlier

"Oh my good don't even go there" she warned looking away angrily.

"You are off... you barely ate anything and in the eight years I know you, you never flinched at a crime scene before..." he was looking into her eyes so deeply it made her uncomfortable.

"I am not pregnant Aaron...and I don't see how that's any of your business" she added crossing her arms over her chest defensively.

"You will always be my business whether you like it or not..."He was now angry as well, she clearly was hiding something at it made him furious; Emily just shook her head in disbelief

"I am not doing this Aaron...God help me I am not" she said walking away from him and joining the guys again. Hotch sighed angrily things were getting more frustrating each minute and he was pretty sure he was going to end up killing Clyde or that asshole boyfriend of hers.

One thing he knew for sure, it Emily was pregnant with Liam's baby he didn't think he was going to be able to survive that and keep on going with his life. That wasn't really fair of course given his current relationship circumstances, he was married and he had a child with Beth. That was a complete different story on its own. He never wanted to play the victim and blame Beth for having a baby, he should have known better than trust her when she said she was taking care of herself, in fact they had used condoms most of the time, but he knew nothing was a hundred percent safe, and she had end up getting pregnant. Of course he was man and did the right thing and he marry her, but he didn't love her and he never will. But if Emily was pregnant he wouldn't be able to get past that, he had been trough so much already, and watching the woman he loved with someone else having a family would kill him, he knew it will.

"_**It would be impossible to estimate how much time and energy we invest in trying to fix, change and deny our emotions - especially the ones that shake us at our very core, like hurt, jealousy, loneliness, shame, rage and grief." Debbie Ford**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**Loving You Forever Is What I Need Chapter Seven**_

"_**Because, if you could love someone, and keep loving them, without being loved back . . . then that love had to be real. It hurt too much to be anything else." ― Sarah Cross**_

The following morning, Alina arrived to the office just around six in the morning, they had been working on the case until late the night before. Emily had order the team to go their hotels and get some rest, with the time difference, the team had been running close to forty hours without sleep, and that couldn't be any good for their case of themselves. She needed everyone with their minds clear and focused on the case, they still needed to go check in into the hotel, shower and get some rest. Emily too, went home tired and frustrated; praying they could solve the case soon. She was now really pissed at Hotch and she was at the verge of having a mental break down.

Clyde was beyond angry with her, not only for taking the case, but because it was starting to cause the authorities to question their actions. The minister had already contacting him demanding a reason why the Department of Justice was questioning him about a case Interpol took, which mean they were walking in thin ice. To make matters worst, the secret service was now a part of the whole investigation, which meant that Liam will be working with them as well and Emily wasn't sure she could keep Liam and Hotch of each other. Clyde and Hotch had already almost gotten into a fight. On the top of everything Hotch was literally getting on her nerves acting like nothing had ever happened between them, and he could just walk into her life again messing with her head and feelings. She was starting to lose her compartmentalization skills and it was beginning to be obvious, she really needed to remain calm and collected before hell broke lose.

So when Alina walked in very early in the morning she was hardly surprised to see Emily at her desk; already working on her laptop and nursing coffee. She looked exhausted and Alina almost felt terrible for her, she knew very well Emily had so much on her plate, and things were only getting worse.

"Your team should be here in one hour" The European woman stated neutrally as greeting walking in and observing her friend cautiously.

"I know, I spoke to JJ already, I just have to finish reviewing this files then I'll meet you in the conference room" Emily replied without looking at her

"Great! I will start coffee then; do you want me to do anything else?" Alina asked wishing she could make her friend feel better.

"No thank you, I'll be done soon" Emily replied, still avoiding eye contact, Alina just shook her head reaching into her purse and tossing and brown paper bag at Emily's desk.

"What is that?" She asked in confusion looking at the offending bag.

Alina however didn't respond, she sat in front of Emily with her arms crossed over her chest staring at her stubbornly, the brunette raised one of her eyebrow and took the paper bag looking inside and feeling anger rouse within her. _It was a pregnancy test_.

"I don't know what the hell you think you are doing but..." she said angrily looking at her friend in firm disapproval

"Look Emily save the bullshit for someone else" Alina spat, she had been try to act cool and support her friend but she was really beginning to piss her off.

"Alina you have no right" Emily shook her head annoyed and clearly irritated with her friend.

"No! you know what?" the blond woman snapped getting up "Don't give me that shit, I have tried to understand you _I really have Emily_, but I am not playing this game. Don't you think I know something is wrong with you?" Alina asked incredulously losing all sense of decorum.

"Jesus Christ Emily your overworking yourself and barely eating or sleeping, you are starting to lose your so perfect compartmentalization skills and people notices that shit ...your team knows so well, don't you think they are going to see past your facades at some point? They are fucking profilers!" 

"I am fine Alina" Emily said trough clenched teeth, she was so angry she could feel her skin growing hot

"NO YOU ARE NOT" Alina shouted "You are freaking out all the time and snapping at everyone for absolutely no reason" Emily watched her in surprise, taken a little aback by her friends tone, it had been a while since her friend's anger was directed towards her, Emily just closed her eyes taking a deep breath, she could feel the tears prickling at her eyes, this happened all the time, her anger and frustration was reaching to a level were she was going to start crying.

"Sometime is going with you and you know that, and rather than dealing with it, your letting it eat you up" Alina continued ... "Dammit Emily your letting your fucking emotions affect you at work" Alina said dropping into the chair again with a loud huff.

"Alina please just stop..." Emily begged already feeling her eyes about spill "Just don't do this okay..."

"Then take the damn test" she pointed out "You can deal with whatever comes once you know _for sure_, but avoiding thinking about isn't doing you any good. You can seriously fuck up this entire investigation if you keep this fucking attitude" now the blonde woman was just looking at Emily with concern.

"You don't even have to share anything with me or anyone, just please take the test...whatever the results are I am here for you_ always_"

With that the European woman left the office, leaving Emily alone with her thoughts, she was starting to get very frustrated with her friend/boss and she didn't want to say anything she would regret or that could hurt Emily. But she was very worried, in a matter of just twenty fours hours, Emily had lost her temper, with JJ, Reid, their intel guy, Hotch, and Alina herself. This wasn't good for their investigation and Alina new it. Emily was too damn stubborn to see that, and they could seriously put their case in jeopardy, especially if Emily's mind wasn't fully at it. Of course she understood Emily was very stressed out, with Clyde and the Minister on her ass, and now Hotch and Clyde were contributing to her anger and frustration. Freaking out about the possibility of being pregnant wasn't making anything easier, and Alina knew Emily well, when she was that stressed and overwhelmed she acted like nothing was going on, until a damn tragedy happened.

About half hour later Emily walked into the conference room, Alina had already rearranged their board with the latest crime pictures and was now sitting at the table trying to come up with topographical map for their case.

"I am not pregnant" Emily said softly walking inside and sitting directly across from her friend.

"All right..." Alina looked up see Emily observing her closely to examine her facial expressions.

She seemed relieved and less stressed out than she had been half hour ago. Alina knew very well Emily had wanted a baby for a very long time, so obviously her reaction wasn't exactly what Alina had expected. The fact that she had been literally freaking out and losing her temper made it very clear Emily wasn't really looking forward to being pregnant.

"That is good news right?" Alina questioned softly knowing the answer.

"Yeah...I mean don't take me wrong _I do want a baby_... just.."

"Just not with Liam..." Alina added for her

"I didn't say that"

"Em, come on? Is me, do you really think I don't know you are what you are thinking?...I just want the best for you mate."

"I know that" she finally softened feeling a lot more relaxed that she had been since Spencer mentioned the possibility of her being pregnant.

"I just think that timing is really bad..." Emily said looking away

"Because of Hotch?"

"What? Nooo! Of course not, this has nothing to do with him"

"Emily you don't have to be a genius to know that you still love him"

"I don't" she said looking at her friend who just rolled her eyes not believing her at all

"I really don't" she amended "Look, what Hotch and I had is in the past and he is married now and l well, I am in a relationship as well, we both moved on..."

"That doesn't mean anything"

"Uh yeah it does, I love Liam" Emily said widening her eyes for effect.

"I know you do, but you aren't in love with him" Alina said simply making Emily shake her head.

"Lina, trust me when I tell you everything between Hotch and I is over"

"Em you can lie to Hotch all you want, hell you can even lie to me and tell me whatever you want, but you cannot lie to yourself love...you know Hotch will always be in your heart"

"I am with Liam now" Emily repeated more to herself than anything else

"That doesn't mean anything, _look _you can love two people at the same time, there is nothing wrong with that. But your heart... that will always belong to one person _only_"

"Everything between Hotch and I is over is been over" Emily repeated again she wasn't sure if she was trying to convince Alina or herself.

"That doesn't mean you don't love him and you are not hurting..."

"But I really don't... we are just friends trust me when l am telling you that, l love Liam and I want to be with him"

"Then explain something to me?" Alina asked scrutinizing her

"What?" Emily played along

"Why were you so freaked about the possibility of being pregnant with Liam's baby?" She questioned meaningfully

"Because we are not ready" Emily responded easily "The timing isn't right; we both work crazy hours... is just not time yet"

"Would you fill the same way if I was Hotch's baby?" she questioned making eye contact with Emily

"_Right now_ if you were pregnant with Hotch's baby, would you say the same? That the timing wasn't right?" Alina repeated again.

Emily bit her lip looking down at her lap, **no she wouldn't**, she knew for a fact that if she were to be pregnant from Hotch she would be the happiest woman alive, of course she would never admit that Alina or to anyone. Being a mother had been always something she wanted so badly, but she never thought she would love someone so deeply she would dream about a little baby with that person. But when she pictured herself and Hotch's with a family, she could only see complete and absolute happiness. Maybe a little girl with her black curly hair and Aaron's dimples running around the house.

"Em you can't tell your heart whom to love, and he is obvious that Hotch is still there and you know he will always be there..."

Before Emily had time to respond the team walked in interrupting their conversation, so they focused on the case again, but Alina could definitely see Emily's eye glistening at her words and she just wished she could make her friend happy, if anyone deserved to be happy it was her.

The morning passed by rather uneventful, aside from the fact that Alina and Reid were still trying to decipher the encrypted message, they really didn't have much action. Scratch change in victimology was an unexpected hit and they had to start their profile from zero again. So far they knew that Peter Lewis was a math genius who had managed to graduate from Harvard with the highest math classes ever offered. He was eventually hired by the National Security Agency, because he was too dangerous to work anywhere else. Scratch childhood exposed his sociopath DNA, and he began searching revenge for everyone that had been involved in his father's death. He managed to drug his victims using sevoflurane and scopolamine to induce them into a psyhcotich break to kill their loved ones. Eventually Hotch and the team caught him and he was arrested, only to later escape, making one of Hotch's nightmare come true again. Before Emily left the BAU, a victim was found in one of their cases with the letters "Hotch" carved into her forehead, and the team knew that Scratch was just trying to mess with Hotch again. So when the killings started again and the toxicology reports came back positive for sevoflurane and scopolamine, Hotch knew that Scratch was back. The team had absolutely no idea why he was targeting prostitutes or why he was in London, and with the change his MO and victimology going after and a federal agent they were back at square one.

"Hotch" Reid said walking in with a piece of paper in his hand making everyone stop what they were doing and looking at the genius boy

"Is a message he is trying to communicate with us" he said walking over to the board and scribbling something frantically.

"_But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery." Mathew 5:32 _

"Is that bible verse?" Rossi questioned surprised; this was definitely not what they were expecting

"_Except in the ground of sexual immorality?"_ said Emily "Wait? He is killing prostitutes because they are being immoral?" her brow furrowed in confusion "That is kind of rich coming from someone who murdered so many people"

"There has to be something else" Hotch added picking up the case file again.

"So we know everything about Scratch's father; but what about his mother though?" Alina asked

"His mother abandoned him and his father when he was little" Hotch responded looking at her

"_Okay_ but what happened to her?"

"We never really looked into it" Said Morgan

"No, because it wasn't part of the profile back then" Emily said frowning again and picking up her phone.

"Oh my god, I was literally beginning to think you forgotten about me" Garcia's voice came on the speaker "Like you literally have everyone _there with you_ and I am here all by myself without friends" she said indignantly

"Hey you" Emily smiled for the first time in two days

"Oh I miss you so much"

"Garcia" Hotch warned softly

"Right! Sorry what do you need boss lady?"

"Can you tell me what do you have on Peter Lewis's mother" Emily asked getting back to the professional tone

"Hold your gears for me my dark-hair-beauty" their heard her type away frantically

"Uh not much Rachel Lewis abandoned him and his father when he was four, apparently she was heavy narcotic user. _Like scary crazy_ she started with pain medication until her addiction was so out of control she was admitted. She later changed her name to Rachel Landon when she separated... _wait it gets crazier_ after she left Scratch's dad, she started using methamphetamines and heroin until she was living on the streets selling herself to fulfill her needs"

"Thanks Garzi" Emily disconnected the phone

"How did we not see this before that explains why he began using narcotics to control his victims" Morgan interjected

"We weren't focusing in the narcotics itself, we were focusing on the _burnt sage to create a psyhcotich break_, that was the specific MO. Scratch believed the smell of burnt Sage helped suppressing the memories from his victims, and from when he was a child, there was no reason for us to associate the drugs to his mother's addiction"

"So he killed all this woman because his mother started prostituting her self for drugs? Our original profile said that he was killing everyone that had to do with his father's death including his therapist Suzannah Regan" Reid stated going back to the board

"Yeah but his mother's abandonment must have had a huge impact on his father's life and probably one of the reasons he abused so many children, to him his mother was guilty too" Emily said standing up and reading the quote again

"_But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality" _Emily read again

"His father didn't divorce her, she left so this doesn't make sense" JJ stated looking at them

"So there is something else we are missing" Morgan agreed "Look, he killed these women because they reminded him of his mother, but the secret service agent? How does he fit in the profile"

"Can you give me a second?" Emily asked standing up all of the sudden and walking away, she returned about ten minutes later with Liam following after her.

"Shane Mcmillan, divorced his wife to be with a twenty-four-year old model" Emily said crossing her arms over her chest

"And you held that information from the investigation?" Hotch questioned Liam angrily

"His private life had nothing to do with the case" Liam said unmoved by Hotch's attitude

"I don't know how you do thinks at the Secret Service Agent O'Donnell but withholding information about a crime a is against the law"

"Look I don't know what your problem is but..."

"Liam! Hotch stop! This isn't the time for this..." Emily spat angrily "Do I have to remind you we already have enough bodies?"

Both man kept staring at each other, Hotch's deep stoic stern, doing nothing for Liam's intimidating face. Emily didn't even want to imagine what would happen if they actually ended up in a fight. Liam was a warrior; he had been trained for the secret service to take down some of the most dangerous criminals in the world, he was welt built and stocky, he definitely could take anyone he wanted down.

As far as Hotch was concerned... _well_ Emily didn't even want to think about that. Hotch might not have Morgan's muscular body, but he was pretty well built. Hotch was one of the best if not the absolute _best shooter_ Emily had ever known, but that didn't mean he couldn't fight. The thing with Hotch was, he could become the scariest person alive when he was angry, Emily had seen him take people down before with his bare hands, _not that it happened very often_, but the one time Emily had seen him do it , he had end up killing the man with his bare hands to protect his son.

"McMillan's death has nothing to do with his childhood or memories there is another piece missing" Emily started speaking again focusing on the team.

"He is just messing with us; he wants to make Hotch think he is controlling the situation" Morgan pointed out

"Yeah but this has to be bigger than that, Scratch wouldn't have left my picture on a crime scene unless he wanted to give us a message"

"Wait what?" Liam asked all of the sudden "He left a picture of you at a crime scene" he asked in shock, not only about knowing that his girlfriend had been targeted by a serial killer but also at the fact that she had not mention anything to him. Emily just bit her lip, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Were you ever going to tell me anything?" Liam asked angrily

"I just haven't had a chance" Emily closed her eyes trying to remain calm as Liam was glaring at her, she didn't want to have this conversation in front of the team.

"Does Clyde know this?" he continued "Does he know that you are in danger?"

"Yes he does"

"And he is okay with you working this case anyways"

"Liam please don't this here"

"Don't do what Emily?"

"Enough both of you" Clyde barged into the room looking at Liam and Emily angrily "Agent's if your relationship is going to get in the way of work I suggest you end it immediately" he said harshly

Liam looked down feeling embarrassed, while Emily's lips just formed into a thin line.

"_Now_ with that being said" Clyde continued

"There is another reason why McMillan was killed with your name written on his forehead Agent Hotchner" Clyde said tossing another file on the table in front of Hotch. The file contained another picture of their dead agent, with the words "_adulterer"_ carved into his back.

"_Adulterer"_ Emily read " I don't understand" she said confused

"You don't?" Clyde said sarcastically, then he directed his attention to the table

"Can everyone please give a second alone with Agent Hotchner and Agent Prentiss" the frown on his forehead was very evident and it was clear to Emily that he was seething. The team and Liam left the room very confused, something was definitely going on, but no one dared to asked.

"What is it Eastern" Hotch asked straight to the point once everyone was gone.

"Are you two sleeping together?" Clyde went straight to the point

"Excuse me?" Hotch glared at him in disbelief.

"I will ask you Agent Hotchner, have you two sleep together since your arrival to London?"

"No! We haven't" Emily said indignantly "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Well he bloody thinks you are sleeping together" Clyde exclaimed angrily "The message on McMillan's body is directed towards you specifically Agent Hotchner, so I will ask again, are you two sleeping together?"

"No we are not" Hotch replied slightly uncomfortable that he had to explain Clyde his private life.

"He thinks you are cheating on Beth" Emily said all of the sudden, her voice so soft that they barely heard her.

"_But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery." _she read the quote again

"This takes everything to a whole new level" Hotch said staring at the board in shock.

"Agent Hotchner you know what that means right?" Clyde questioned with fire in his eyes, Hotch you looked back at Clyde with a deep frown.

"He wants to hurt you, he wants to see you suffer" Clyde started in a short voice "The only way he is going to accomplish that is killing Emily" his words resonated on the room like a stab on his heart.

"_**Love is never supposed to hurt. Love is supposed to heal, to be your haven from misery, to make living fucking worthwhile." ― Mia Asher**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/N: Hey everyone how are you all doing?.**_

_** First of all, I am so sorry for the late update; but I was very busy this week, and with me starting a new job, it has been a very hectic week. Secondly, as you all know this story is a gift to Southunlady for all her amazing help and friendship for the past years, so I apologize in advance, for all the grammatical errors; as she would not be editing the story prior to the chapters being posted. However, she did offered to edit them, after they had been posted. So we might re-post the edited chapters eventually. Third, thanks sooooooo much for all your support and reviews, I truly appreciate your kind words. You guys should know I only write this stories because of you and only for you, so thanks soo much for follows, likes, and reviews, and reading every single one of my stories. Four: some of you have messaged me in regards my other stories and the possibility of updating them and finishing them as well. The answer is yes, these stories are in my plans for an update very soon. However, I lost two stories and I cannot find them on my page "The Way to a Prentiss Heart and "Framed" have completely banished from page and my computer, and I am really sorry. About two months ago my computer was accidentally reset to factory settings losing all my information on my computer. Sadly, I never saved any of these stories to a hard drive (I know, I know) so I don't have a way of reposting these stories. I can't even find them on my page even when I log in as a guest, I am not sure if they were deleted or what, but they are gone. However, the rest of the stories that have not been updated will be updated soon. "The Face of Love" is still active and I will start posting those chapters soon, I haven't mostly been updating because Southunlady also had issues with her computer and she took it to the shop, she has offered to edit from her IPad but I will hate to put such a complicated task on her, so as soon as we can, we will update.**_

_**Lastly, thanks for all your reviews and feedback for these story, I am reading every single one of your entries, so if I don't respond to them please don't get offended, is been a crazy week and I haven't had a lot of time to spend on fanfiction. I do however, want to respond a particular review. I know most of you were freaking out about Emily being pregnant by Liam, and I apologize about the scare, but it is my job to hook you up and have you eating your nails with the angst of the story. With that being said, someone posted a reviewing expressing it wasn't fair for Emily not to be pregnant since Hotch had a kid with Beth. As much as I want to agree with you, the story is Hotch/Prentiss meaning they will eventually end up together. But I wanted to tell you that from the story perspective Emily does respect and love Liam but she is not in love with him, so having a baby with him is not something she truly wants. Having a baby with him will only push her even further apart from Hotch making it even more complicated for them to be together. Perhaps after reading this chapter you will understand better why I chose not to have her pregnant by Liam. I really appreciate your feedback and if there is a story you might have in mind and a particular plot you wish to read, you can shoot me and email and l can consider writing it for you. Thanks everyone for their love and enjoy this chapter dun dun dun...**_

_**Loving You Forever is What I Need Chapter Eight**_

"_**There are no words to express my sorrow and regret for the pain I have caused others by words and actions. To the people I have hurt, I am truly sorry." - Matt Lauer**_

"He thinks you are cheating on Beth" Emily said all of the sudden, her voice so soft that they barely heard her.

"_But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery." _she read the quote again

"This takes everything to a whole new level" Hotch said staring at the board in shock. "

"Agent Hotchner you know what that means right?" Clyde questioned with fire in his eyes, Hotch you looked back at Clyde with a deep frown.

"He wants to hurt you; he wants to see you suffer" Clyde stated in a short voice "The only way he is going to accomplish that is killing Emily" his words resonated on the room like a stab on his heart.

"He will never come near her" Hotch replied anger building up on him, it was taking every inch of his self control to not go after Clyde. He had the ability to irritate him just by looking at him; he would never understand why Emily cared so much for him and considered such a close friend.

"Can you guarantee that Agent Hotchner? Can you guarantee that you will keep her safe"?

"I can guarantee that I will catch him" Hotch vowed

"There is not catching that man Agent Hotchner" Clyde laughed smirking at Hotch.

"I will get him"

"Come on Hotchner don't fool yourself, Peter Lewis isn't a just any regular unsub. You been looking for him for two years" Clyde stated "He already escaped once, he worked for the NSA, he knows the system better than you do, the only way to stop that man is putting a bullet between his eyes yourself" Clyde told him

"You took an oath to protect the laws of your country" the British continued "Can you break that oath Agent Hotchner?" Can you break that oath and kill that man?"

"No" Hotch replied realizing that as much as he hated to admit, Clyde was right "But I can guarantee you that I will die protecting Emily if that's what it takes"

"Oh please! Just like you protected your wife?" Clyde bit sarcastically glaring at him

Before Emily was able to react Hotch's fist collided with Clyde's face.

"You fucking bastard!" he barked furiously

"Oh my God Aaron stop!" Emily said in shock stepping in front of him to prevent him from going any further "What in the hell is the matter with you?"

Dave and Liam who have heard the commotion from outside, jumped back into the conference room and grabbed a hold of the British man before he was able to hit Hotch back.

"Jesus Christ Aaron, what in the world is going on" Dave interjected

"Go ahead Agent Hotchner!" Clyde barked spiting out blood and wiping his nose against the back of his hand, glaring and the dark haired man "Explain your team how is your fault Agent Prentiss is on danger? Explain to them how once again you had put someone in danger because of your fucking ego"

"I will fucking kill you" Hotch tried to push past Emily angrily he had never been so furious before.

"Goddammit Clyde" Emily fired turning to face him "Just shut up, will you" she hissed pulling Hotch away from the conference room as the rest of the team stared at them in shock. They had witness the tension between them from the very beginning and they have never seen Hotch attack another LEO.

"I am going to fucking kill him Emily" Hotch said as Emily watched him in shock

"No you are not! Stop it!" she said firmly "Come with me to get some air" she guided him outside of the Interpol building

"Emily I am not going to do this, I am not going to sit there and let this asshole ..."

"Aaron for the love of God just stop okay!" she bit so harshly made him stop to look at her, she very seldom raised her voice like that

"I put my job at risk to take this case and help you" She reminded him "I can't have you losing your tempter and hitting my boss every time you are angry Aaron"

"I am sorry Emily I just..." he apologized looking away, it was true Emily had risk so much to help him

"You are letting Scratch get to you" she said softening with him

"This isn't about Scratch; this about Clyde he has been an asshole since we arrived here, and you know that better than anyone Emily"

"He is under a lot stress"

"That is bullshit and you know it" Hotch said getting angry again "This is about _you and me_...he has never liked me"

"That is not true, you are seeing things..."

"Dammit Emily he just blamed Haley's death on me! Didn't you hear him" He was so angry he was shaking

"Okay calm down" she said reaching out to touch him softly, she knew very well Clyde was definitely pushing his buttons, the Brit could be an asshole when he really wanted to.

"I will talk to him... alright? But I need you to control yourself Aaron, do you have any idea how much we risking here? We can have case taken away"

"I know that Em" he looked away feeling a little bit embarrassed, he really was putting Emily in a very difficult position and they could lose the case and never find Scratch

"I am really sorry; I would never intentionally jeopardize your job, you know that right? "

"I know Aaron" Emily crossed her arms over her chest "I need to you focus on the case please, you know Scratch better than anyone, I need your mind here Aaron, do it for me please"

"Is here Emily, I promise you that"

"Good, lets get back to catch this bastard" Emily said starting to walk away when grabbed her hand turning her to look at him again.

"Hey? when all of this is over and we get Scratch, I would really like to take you out to dinner" He said nervously

"The entire team would love to catch up with you and maybe know more about your life in London" he added quickly when she looked at him like he was crazy

"Oh my god I am sorry" she quickly apologized "I know I am a terrible host, with everything going on I haven't even had the chance to talk you guys" she replied

"Is okay Emily, we all have been pretty busy"

"I know I just... I should have a least offered you guys to stay at my place, but I figure you will be more comfortable at the hotel; since I only have one guest room"

"Don't worry about that Em, we are fine at the hotel, we wouldn't want to impose anyway"

"You wouldn't have, but when the case is over I will invite you guys over for dinner or something" She smiled "I missed you guys so much"

"We miss you everyday" He was going to say he missed her everyday but he knew it will just make her angry

"We should get back" Emily said trying to remind him they were working at case

"Of course" he agreed and followed after her

Clyde wasn't in the conference room any longer and that was probably a good thing, Hotch wasn't sure he could keep his promise to Emily off staying away from him. Emily didn't even address what had happen between Hotch and Clyde, to the rest of the team. She continued working on her professional tone, they were really running out of time, and wit Scratch targeting her directly things were definitely not on their favor. Very subtly they explained the team that Scratch was under the impression Emily and Hotch were having and affair and that was the reason he was killing again and targeting them directly.

"Something doesn't feel right about this" Dave stated looking at them, still not fully understanding why Scratch would target Emily

"What do you mean?" Hotch asked his lifelong friend.

"_But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery." _Dave read all loud looking at Hotch and then the rest of the team

"His quote indicates that _a man who divorces his wife makes her commit adultery_" He looked at the board frowning

"You aren't divorced from Beth, neither did you married a divorced woman, Emily isn't married either, this quote wouldn't even match"

"But he thinks Emily is the one committing adultery with me" he reasoned "To him, Emily is getting on the way of a married man"

"So he left his picture because he is telling us she is impure and wants to hurt her?" Morgan repeated incredulously "He had the chance to get to her if he really wanted to go after her, yet he waited until we arrived here"

"Because he wants Hotch to think it will be his fault if something happens to her, he wants him to make him feel like he has control over Emily's life" JJ added speculatively

Emily felt rather uncomfortable about this whole conversation not only about having her personal life exposed in front of the team; but especially about he fact that Liam was sitting in the conference room.

Things were already awkward between Emily and Liam, he was angry with her for hiding the fact that she had been targeted by Scratch and that he had left her picture at a crime scene. Now he was mad at the fact that this unsub was after her because he believed she was having an affair with a married man, her ex boss to be more exact. The worst part of all, was the fact that he didn't like this Unit Chief even a little bit, he didn't like the way he interacted with Emily or the way he looked at her. Either it was true and they were having an affair or they have had something on the past, either way he wanted this man as far away as he could from his girlfriend. He was definitely not happy and Emily could feel his eyes on her, she knew very well they would end up in a fight very soon.

"This is fucking absurd Emily" Liam stated fuming, Emily just eyed him hardly not willing to have another bickering match with anyone in front of the team.

"Liam just stop please"

"You expect me to sit here and listen to this profile about you having an affair with your previews boss and just be okay with it?" he asked indignantly glaring from her to Hotch and then back to her again.

"Liam I won't explain myself again, there is nothing going between me and him, if you can't understand that you need to leave!" She threatened

"But I am not having this conversation in front of everyone, we can talk when we go home, this is hardly the place for this" she warned in that _dangerous tone, _she could use, that make her look so intimidating. Hotch would never admit it out loud but Emily was pretty intimidating when she was angry, he_ unfortunately_, had been on the receiving end of her anger in several occasions.

"Liam take a walk with me please, lets get some coffee" Alina called him standing up and walking out of the room, she knew that if she didn't intervene, Emily would lose all sense of decorum and they didn't have the time for more scenes.

The Irish man just followed Alina as he eyed Emily and Hotch angrily and then walking away shaking his head.

"I am sorry about that, I know everyone is tired and stressed but we really need to focus on catching Scratch"

"I think Rossi is right" Spencer continued taking Emily's side immediately, they definitely needed to focus

"Scratch has one of the highest IQ's that had ever existed, he plans everything until the last detail, he wouldn't have use this quote unless it means something to him" he uttered

"But it could also indicate his anger towards his mother, she could have started an affair or gotten remarried" JJ pointed out

"Yeah but, if he was targeting his mother, wouldn't he have gone after her?" Morgan questioned

"No, Reid is right about something, he plans everything for a reason, his main target here is Hotch" Rossi stated again "Then we need to profile how this quote relates specifically to you Aaron and why is he targeting Emily, that picture was left at a crime scene for a reason"

"Scratch thinks Emily and I are having and affair, since we both are in relationships, that can be a form of adultery to him"

"In a lot of religions; being in a relationship with a partner or simply living with that person is considered common law marriage"

"But Hotch is legally married to Beth" JJ inquired

"Princess are you and Liam living together?" Morgan asked her

"Not necessary, we do spend time together, but...hm... he doesn't live with me" she responded realizing how uncomfortable made her to talk about Liam in front of Hotch. It wasn't that she owed him anything, she just hated to have to explain her love life to him.

"Maybe Scratch thinks you and Liam are going to get married, that could explain why he thinks their committing adultery" Reid suggested thoughtfully

Hotch's phone started ringing all of the sudden and he looked at Emily with questioning eyes as it was an unknown number.

"Hotchner" he said placing his phone near his ear.

"Agent Hotchner well well well" Scratch said in a cold voice, Hotch turned to look at everyone pointing at his phone and putting the device on speaker.

"What took you so long?" He asked looking at Emily who immediately reached for her phone texting Garcia in hopes that she could track where Scratch was calling from

"I am a very busy individual, if you might know Agent Hotchner"

"You also need to be in control" Hotch challenged softly, making Scratch laugh ironically

"I am in control Agent Hotchner, isn't that why you came here to London? You have been looking for me for two years, and now you followed me all the way across the ocean" Hotch glanced at Emily and the team, he obviously had been keeping tracks.

"Isn't here where you wanted me?" he questioned

"Tangentially"

"Why don't you tell me what do you want?"

"I thought that was your job Agent" Scratch smirked on the phone "Isn't that what you do for a living? Profile dangerous criminals to find out why they do what they do and then put them behind bars?"

"You are right it is job, it was my job that stopped you from murdering a lot of people in the past"

"I am still murdering people Agent Hotchner, it doesn't look like you are doing that good of a job now, does it?"

"Tell me what you want Peter and maybe we can understand each other"

"You already know what I want" Scratch said coldly "There is one more person that needs to die because of you"

"Emily has nothing to do with this, you want to punish me then do so, but leave her out of this" Hotch said before he could control himself

"Agent Hotchner I am appalled" Scratch replied in shock "It seems to me like you're not that good of a profiler as everyone thinks you are"

"You said you want to hurt me, _according to you I am an adulterer_, punish me then, but leave her out of this" Scratch laughed again making his skin crawl from anger and from the lack of control he had.

"You must be the worst profiler in the history of the BAU, you are not the adulterer Agent Hotchner maybe you should go back to the drawing board and re-think the entire profile you think you have on me"

"My profile has already placed you in prison before, you are more predictable that you think"

"Don't make laugh Agent Hotchner, you have absolutely no idea where I am or what my next step is, and I should remind you that I escaped prison before, what makes you think I wont escape again?, that is if you ever catch me again"

"You said _I am not_ the adulterer what do you mean by that?" Hotch said trying to get him to reveal more information; Scratch laughed again soft this time

"You really do surprise me Agent Hotchner, you keep trying to profile me. But you can't even profile your own personal life! Tell me soemthing how did you get to be the Unit Chief from the BAU? From where I am standing you have absolutely no idea what you are doing"

"Then why don't you explain to me what do you mean, so I can understand?"

"Don't worry Agent Hotchner you will understand very soon" with that Scratch hung up the phone, Emily who had texted Garcia while Hotch was on the phone with Scratch; pulled out her phone calling the tech analyst.

"Garcia were you able to trace him down?"

"No, Emily I am so sorry, the satellite kept bouncing between towers and using different proxies to protect his location"

"Okay please keep our phones traced to your computer in case he calls back"

"Will do, I am really sorry Em"

"I know Pen, is not your fault, just keep in touch" Emily said hanging up the phone

"Emily! This was just delivered about half hour ago, it's forwarded to Agent Hotchner" Alina walked in handing Emily a manila envelope.

"Don't worry it has been checked for explosives and chemical toxins" the European woman added when Emily looked at her skeptically

"What is it?" Morgan asked just as Hotch took the envelope from Emily's hands; carefully opening it and looking inside.

Hotch pulled out a smaller white envelope, containing a cd that said _play me_. Hotch took the CD looking at it and handing it to Emily, who immediately placed it on the conference room cd player. She wished she had seen the contents before she had played the cd in front of the entire team.

It was a video of a woman in a hotel room, having sex, at first they didn't know what they were watching but once the woman untangled herself from her partner they had a clear shot of the entire video. The woman was Beth Hotchner, she was in bed with another man, the video was dated two years prior; however, it was very clear what they had been doing. At they weren't able to recognize the male since his face wasn't very clear from the angle the video was taken from.

Hotch could feel his blood boiled as he watched the woman he was married to have sex with another man, although the video was taken two years prior, they were already married then which it mean she had been cheating on him and then everything made sense.

"_I have to get going Sean" Beth said sliding out of bed _

"_Come on beautiful stay for a little longer"_

"_I can' babe, Aaron is alone with the kids at home, I had been gone all day" she stated sliding her underwear on and reaching for her blouse._

"_I am pretty sure he doesn't even care if you are home or not, for all you care you could be home every second and he would barely pay attention to you" the man said angrily_

"_That doesn't make this right Sean, we shouldn't be doing this"_

"_You have been cheating on my brother for years Beth, hell you have been cheating on him since day one, why does it matter?" the man said finally standing up_

"Oh my god" Emily said covering her mouth as she watched the video in horror, the white male was _Sean Hotchner_, Hotch's brother. She turned immediately to look at Hotch, his face reflected shock, anger and something Emily couldn't name.

"_Right" Beth laughed sardonically "Say's the man who is sleeping with his brother's wife"_

"_Whatever Beth, you don't even know if Aaron is the father of your child don't act so sanctimonious" Sean fired back puting on his shirt and underwear as well_

"_Be careful Sean" She warned putting on her pants and pointing his finger at him "Don't fucking mess with me or you will regret it"_

"_What are you going to do Beth? Tell Aaron? Yeah go ahead and see how that works for you"_

"_We will both go down and you know it"_

"_I am his brother for God's sake, he will eventually forgive me, but you, you have no way to save your skin, he will never forgive you so go ahead and do what you want" Sean said with venom in his eyes "You are making him raise a child you don't even know if is his"_

"_Go fuck yourself Sean" Beth said angrily walking away slamming the hotel door and leaving Sean alone in the room. _

The video ended with a black screen that said _"Love hurts Agent Hotchner, the sooner you find that out the better"_

"Son of a bitch" Hotch said furiously walking out of the conference room.

"Hotch isn't the adulterer" Reid said all of the sudden almost in a whisper "Beth is, Beth and Sean"

Emily barely acknowledge what Spencer said before she too, walked out of the room going after Hotch. She searched around for him, the building wasn't as busy given that it was after six in the afternoon.

Emily didn't find Hotch outside the building or near the restrooms, she looked in her office and even on the break room, he wasn't there. It wasn't until she noticed the door that led up the stair case to the top of the roof was open. She went up the stairs, stepping outside and watching him near the end of the roof, by the railing, the sun was finally setting down the beautiful city of London. The view from the roof was breathtaking. She carefully made her way towards him, her heels softly clicking as they hit the pavement.

"Aaron" she called softly standing a few feet away him, he didn't respond so she approached him placing a hand on his back

"Are you alight?"

"I can't believe I didn't see it" He said without looking at her "She slept next too me for two years and I didn't see it"

"You had no reason to suspect something was going on" Emily reasoned

"No I did, we had so many issues our marriage was falling apart, I should have known better, I should have seen it"

"You can't predict this things Aaron, don't blame yourself, some times things happen and we cannot see that"

"He is my brother Emily" he eyed her, his eyes reflected a level of anger and sadness Emily had never seen "She was sleeping with my brother, and I didn't see it, this is all my fault"

"Please don't that" Emily said looking at him worried "Don't put this on you, Scratch is trying to get to you Aaron, he wants to hurt you"

"No he is right" he continued " I can't even profile my own life, I sacrificed so much for work, my first marriage with Haley, my happiness with you and now this...Beth was having an affair because of me"

"That is not true, what she did is on her, you are a good man Aaron, you didn't deserve this"

"For the past three years I have been living with her, raising a child that might not even mine"

"You don't know that for a fact Aaron, Scratch wants to makes this personal, he wants you to doubt yourself, you have no way of proving he isn't yours"

"She slept with my brother Emily, my own blood, how could I have shared the same bed with her"

"I am so sorry; I can't even imagine how much that hurts"

"I resigned to my happiness with you to be with someone who has been cheating all this time, it doesn't even hurt that she cheated, it hurts that I am not with you because of her"

"Aaron stop saying that; you are angry and confused you don't know what you are saying"

"I know perfectly well what I am saying" he stated firmly

"Look Aaron, I know how hard this is..."

"Are you happy with Liam?" He asked all of the sudden stopping what she was saying.

"What?" She asked confused

"Do you love Liam?"

"Aaron that's hardly appropriate, my life with Liam has nothing to do with this or..."

Before she finished the sentence he pulled her towards him kissing her passionately, he caught Emily so out of guard that she wasn't able to react right away, as he pushed her against him firmly deepening the kiss. When her mind finally caught up with what was going on, she pushed him away from her unable to believe what he was doing.

"What the hell do you think you are doing?" she asked aghast

"Does he make you feel the way I do when he kisses you like that?" He asked looking at her fiercely, now Emily was angry again, how dare him to kiss her like that, to question her feelings they way he was, like he had done nothing to end their relationship.

"You are unbelievable" she said shaking her head angrily trying to push past him, she wasn't going to play his game, she was so done with him. She tried to move past him but he blocked her way holding her firmly against his body.

"Let go off me Aaron" she warned dangerously

"Not until you answer me"

"Move Aaron!"

"Does he make you feel the way I do when he kisses you?Does he make you shiver like I do when he touches? Does he make love to you the way I did...?"

"Yes he does" she replied fuming and staring at him in disbelief

"No he doesn't" he smirked "You can't lie to me Emily; you will never be able to hide your emotions from me" his eyes boring into hers.

Once away he pulled her against him more firmly kissing her more passionately than before, holding her firmly to prevent her from moving. His lips devoured her mouth possessively as she grunted against his mouth, he could taste the faint remains of coffee and mint on her tongue. Maybe it was the intensity of his kiss, the surprise of his actions or the anger bubbling up against her but for a very brief moment she started to reciprocating the kiss, losing herself in his passionate embrace.

For a brief moment they both forgot about Scratch and the case, only for a brief second they stood there kissing on the top roof of the beautiful city of London as the sun set down; the soft breeze caressed their faces, just for a minute everything else stop making sense. When Emily finally gained enough courage and reality hit her like a cold slap; she pushed him away from her again once again, feeling her whole body shivering from anger, frustrating and maybe even desire.

"No one will ever make you feel like I do" He said looking into her black beautiful eyes "No matter what you say, no matter what yo do, you know you will always be mine" with that he walked away from her, leaving her alone in the roof, confused and angry, as frustrated tears filled her eyes. She hated the way he made her feel after so many years, she hated that her body reacted so easily to him, she hated the way her heart beated for him even during the most difficult times.

"Damn you Aaron Hotchner" she bit under breath as her eyes began to empty and she watched his form disappear trough the door.

_**Share my life**_

_**Take me for what I am**_

_**'Cause I'll never change**_

_**All my colors for you**_

_**Take my love**_

_**I'll never ask for too much**_

_**Just all that you are**_

_**And everything that you do**_

_**I don't really need to look**_

_**Very much further**_

_**I don't want to have to go**_

_**Where you don't follow**_

_**I will hold it back again**_

_**This passion inside**_

_**Can't run from myself**_

_**There's nowhere to hide**_

_**Don't make me close one more door**_

_**I don't want to hurt anymore**_

_**Stay in my arms if you dare**_

_**Or must I imagine you there**_

_**Don't walk away from me**_

_**I have nothing, nothing, nothing**_

_**If I don't have you, you, you, you, you...**_


	9. Chapter 9

_**Loving You Forever is What I Need Chapter Nine**_

"_**Maybe I was destined to forever fall in love with people I couldn't have. Maybe there's a whole assortment of impossible people waiting for me to find them. Waiting to make me feel the same impossibility over and over again."**_

― _**Carol Rifka Brunt**_

Emily and JJ waited at the Italian coffee shop for their order; they have decided to take a small break and get he team food and coffee, _maybe lost of coffee_. At the pace they were going, and with the recent events, Emily didn't anticipate the case being solved anytime soon. Everyone was still appalled at the news of Beth cheating on Hotch, of course they weren't expecting that at all, especially when she had bean cheating with no other than Hotch's brother Sean Hotchner. That was definitely a big turn around for their case, and _for the so stoic_ and unmovable Unit Chief, the news had come like a big slap on the face for him. He was furious and they knew it, but he had always been a master at hiding his emotions in front of team. He completely refused to talk about it even with _David Rossi his best friend in life_, he was keeping his mind focused on Scratch alone, and he changed the subject every time someone asked him a question in regards Beth or his brother.

Emily have not even attempted to talk to him again; she was furious with him for kissing her. She had gone to find him at the top of the roof, and when she had tried to talk to him about his broken marriage, he kissed her instead; making her question her relationship with Liam, her mental sanity and everything else had worked for; specially moving away to forget him. She just wanted the case to be over so he could go back to D.C and leave her alone once and for all.

"Do you think Hotch is going to be okay? I mean this has to be very hard for him" The blond questioned looking at her friend as they waited for their large order.

"I don't know, is hard to say" She breathed looking away for a second "And I really don't want to talk about this anymore"

"We only been talking about this for five seconds" JJ said unable to control her laugher and not understanding why Emily was getting all worked up about it.

"Well I just don't want to talk about him or his life" Emily simply stated pulling a long strand of hair behind her ear .

"That is going to be hard when his life the reason why we have this case" JJ inquired biting her lip and watching her friend carefully

"Yeah I am aware of that" Emily closed her eyes for a brief second "I just...don't want to discuss his personal life Jayje, please"

"Fine" The blonde stated widening her eyes at Emily's tone "I just don't understand why you are so worked up at about it? You could have said _NO_ when he called you about the case you know?"

"That is not why I am saying Jen" Emily rolled her eyes "Look, I just want to catch Scratch and keep this strictly professional that is all"

"I thought that was all there was" The blonde said looking at her friend skeptically "Wait did something happened...?"

"No!" Emily responded barely meeting her eyes "But it doesn't help anyone that Scratch thought we were having an affair"

"Well that wasn't really Scratch that was more us coming with a profile ad throwing around ideas" JJ reminded her

"Well either way is already a mess and now Liam and I are fighting so..."

"Yeah I am sorry about that" JJ apologized finally agreeing with her friend, it truly must be really hard for Emily to be in the middle of all this mess. "I know this is very hard for you...with him back here and now you have to deal with all the testosterone between Hotch, Clyde and Liam" JJ reached to squeeze her friends hand in a comforting way

"Oh Em you have no idea how much I miss you"

"I miss you too" Emily finally smiled, pulling JJ into a warm hug

"I hate that I haven't even give you a proper tour to London, let alone take a minute to sit down and talk"

"That I _would_ hold over your head" JJ pointed at her jokingly "I can't believe you are dating such a hottie and you didn't even tell me" the blonde accused " I mean he totally reminds me of George Clooney and that accent...hmmm... oh my god you have tell me details about how good he is on bed and all that"

"I will tell you all you everything you want to know as soon as we catch this bastard" Emily joked dryly

"I know, trust me I want nothing more but to catch him too, I know you said you didn't want to talk about if but Scratch going after Hotch like that just makes my blood boil, he will always be family you know, after the whole thing with Foyet..." JJ said as they barista handed them two carriers full of drinks

"I care about him to JJ" Emily look at her intensely she didn't want the blonde to think she hated Hotch "You guys will always be family...I will never let anything happen to any of you or Hotch regardless of whatever happened between us" Emily said meaningfully

"Oh I know you wouldn't babe" JJ touched her arm softy as they started their walk back to the Interpol building "You obviously care _enough,_ to put your job on the line for him..." Emily just nodded looking away trying to compartmentalize like she always did

"Em you don't have to hide from me, I know this will always hurt, you can move away and do whatever but the love you had for each other..." JJ glance at her as they walked

"He chose to marry her" Emily reminded her a little annoyed, it really pissed her off that people tried to justify Hotch only marring her for Jayden.

"Come on Emily, you know better than anyone he is always loved you, he would never love her no matter what and now...well " JJ said empathically, JJ was probably the only one on the team, expect for Dave, that knew the details of their relationship and how much it had affected Emily.

"JJ he made a choice, I didn't ask him to start dating her, that was all him"

"I know that, but you told him to date her, you told him to move on, is not like he deliberately left you to be with her. You ended everything"

"Because what we had wouldn't have worked" Emily defended "He always had an excuse or some sort of bullshit justification of his actions, God JJ even after soo many years he still..."

"He still what?" JJ asked confused stopping on the middle of the street to look at her friend

"Nothing" Emily dismissed "Lets get back, they are waiting on us..."

"Oh my god" JJ squealed "Did something happed? You two didn't? Last night? did you?"

"God JJ of course not" The brunette said offended "What do you think I am?"

"Okay fine, I am just asking" JJ turned to look at her friend again "Then why are you acting so weird?"

"I am not" Emily lied biting her lip

"Okay you do know I am your best friend right?"

"Of course you are Jay, is nothing I am tired and stressed and all I really want is to go to bed for the next seven days"

"Ugg you are telling me, I can't believe we are in London and I am confined to a Police Building, I mean _literally_ my wallet is screaming at me"

"They do have some amazing stores" Emily laughed wiggling her eyebrows

"I noticed" JJ eyed her clothes again "You look amazing by the way"

She had not actually taken the opportunity to notice earlier, but the Emily Prentiss that work at the Behavioral Analysis Unit, had absolutely nothing to do with the woman who was running the Interpol London Gateway Office. The brunette woman back then had worn black slacks and boots and mostly sweaters or casual dress shirts. The woman she was in front of now was wearing a high priced white suit with a black satin shirt wrapped around her neck, her shoes were definitely from a designer and the very sophisticated but expensive jewelry she worn was not something JJ could wear around D.C. on a day to day basis. Of course Emily was now a respected Unit Chief in a beautiful country, and well Emily had always come from a wealthy family, the woman definitely polished up when she wanted too, she definitely looked classy and like an ambassador's daughter.

"Thanks JJ, and trust me _when this is over,_ I am taking you to every single designer store here..."

"If I could only afford the paper bag they put your stuff on, I would be set for life" both woman laughed as they entered the Interpol building again.

"Oh Emily good you are back" Alina said as soon as JJ and her walked into the conference room "I was able to contact Archi, Sean is safe with his people"

"Oh good" Emily let out a breath she didn't know she was holding, as mad as she was at Sean Hotchner for what he was doing to Aaron. She knew better than anyone that they had to put Sean in protective custody before Scratch's man were able to trace him down.

So her first move had been contacting her people, _well her first move had been going after Hotch, and only realizing she still had feelings for him after he kissed her_, but her very first move after that had been to find a way to get Sean into protective custody through her people.

"Did you tell Hotch" She asked as she realized the dark haired man wasn't in the room at the time

"Yeah he knows, he is talking to someone on the phone" Alina responded shrugging her shoulders

"Cruz called him a few times already" Rossi said looking at her with a serious expression

"Is everything okay?"

"Well, we were told to stop working the case" Dave said simply making meaningful eye contact with her "I am sure Matt isn't calling him to ask for a souvenir"

Emily nodded as she placed the coffees around the table, carefully writing the team's name with a black sharpie on the cup.

Of course things were not only difficult for he, Hotch too, had risked a lot by coming to London with the team. She knew that the state department would be after him for going against their orders, at least Emily had Clyde on her side. As much as a pain on the ass he was for her, _sometimes_, she knew he would do anything in his ability to cover up for her and justify her actions. She was so mad at Hotch right now but she couldn't deny the fact, that he was going trough a lot as well, his family was hiding god only knew where, until they catch this monster, and now he just found out his wife had been cheating on him with his brother, his own blood. She truly felt terrible for him, she knew that he must be in a lot of pain, _not about Beth of course_, but the possibility that the child he had been raising as his might not even be his child, after all that child was the reason Emily and him had finally put and end to their relationship, and put a continent between them.

"So if Scratch really wants to go after Beth, this case is going to turn into a lot more than just a blood battle" Morgan said after some time, once they were done eating.

The team was now gathered around the conference room again, nursing on coffee and looking at the pictures Garcia had been able to print out from the video Scratch had sent.

"I don't understand; does he wants Hotch to trade himself for Beth?" JJ questioned "None of this makes any sense?"

"He killed these women because they reminded him of his mother, who basically became a prostitute" Reid pointed out "It will make sense that he sees Beth as someone promiscuous woman" He quickly apologized to Hotch "Maybe even a trigger for what his mother did"

"His quote talks about a man who divorces his wife "_"But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery." _Hotch stated in such a professional tone it made Emily uneasy, it was like he was talking but his mind wasn't even there, she knew _right there _that he must really be in pain if he was trying so hard to detach himself from reality.

"Beth was married once before" He continued pulling out his phone putting in on speaker

"Go ahead sir" Garcia said in the most professional tone Emily had ever hear her use, she knew even Penelope knew that Hotch was hurting. Her heart string tugged, she truly hated seem him hurting like that, even after so many years she cared for him and she loved him, he did not deserve any of this.

"Garcia can you find anything you have on Beth's life before we got married?"

"Sir with all due respect, you know you are asking me to cross a door you might not be ready for right?

"Just do it Garcia please" He bit angrily

"Uhmm okay, I will call you with an update" the tech analyst said nervously

"Aaron if you need a second, or if you need to talk" Dave offered when tension filled the room.

"There is something on Beth's past that he is after...something I didn't see" Hotch said taking a file and looking thought it frantically, ignoring Dave's statement

"Hotch you do know this isn't your fault ma right?" Morgan asked

"Foyet's initial crimes didn't make sense, and I should have seen trough that, and I didn't and a bus full of people died before I realized who he really was" He said angrily

"What does he have to do with his?" JJ asked glancing at the team worried

"If we start with how the recent crimes connect to Beth, we can find the stressor and what he really wants, I should have done that with Foyet and I didn't ..."

"Aaron can you listen to me for a second please?" Emily said standing in front of him waiting until he made eye contact with her "Do you need a minute...? Maybe go to my office and get your mind of the case for a few moments?"

"No!What I want to do is catch this son of a bitch" He responded barely looking at Emily and pulling out his phone again, as he walked out of the room

"Garcia do you have anything yet..." he barked on the phone

Emily watched him walk away from her, and then she glanced at team who had the same questioning look she had. They were all worried about him and obviously ignoring what was going on wasn't helping.

"Dave can you guys try to come up with a profile for Beth?, we need to find why exactly is he targeting her and how does she relate to his mother" Emily said still looking out the door and having a brief eye conversation with Rossi. _The message was loud and clear, someone really needed to talk Hotch or he would start losing it very soon._

Emily once again found her herself searching around the Interpol building for him, she was coming around the corner of the main hall, when she almost ran into him.

"Hey" she said reaching for his arm "Are you okay?"

"Yeah Beth's husband left her because she was having an affair with someone else, I can't believe I didn't see any of this"

"Aaron can you look at me please?" his eyes reflected anger and something else Emily had never seen neither could she describe

"If he hurts you it would be my fault" He said barely looking at her "I can't let that happen Emily"

"He is not going to hurt me Aaron, _its not me_ he is after" she assured him "Look Beth and your children are safe, and Sean is safe too"

"I just...something is missing Emily... this is driving me crazy it doesn't make sense"

"It never does" She said softly, fighting the urge to touch his face, to feel his lips again "But if you let this get you, he is going to win Hotch, and we can't let that happen"

"I know you are hurting and I am really sorry that are going trough this" she added "But we need to focus Aaron"

"I know...I think we are all tired this has been going on for two days and we have no leads yet"

"Maybe we should take a break?" She suggested given that it was almost eight again and it was their second day on the road working no stop; they barely slept the night before and with all the recent events their minds were all over the place.

"As much as I hate to do that, you are probably right" He agreed rubbing his forehead tiredly

"Then let's talk to the team, you guys can go back to the hotel and get some rest, and we can come back in a few hours"

"Emily I don't want you going home by yourself... I know he is not after you any longer but I don't want you alone..." He reached for her arm touching her briefly

"Don't worry about me I will be okay" She smiled softly "I will have Lina drop me off, and Liam is probably home, I still have to talk to him about..." she didn't finish the sentence but he knew very well what she was talking about. Liam had walked out of the building furious at her because he believed her and Hotch were having and affair.

"Right, I am sorry about that Emily"

"Is not your fault" she assured "I will fix things with him when I get home, lets not worry about that. Go to the hotel and get some sleep we will meet in a few hours"

"Okay let's talk to the team then" he agreed and they both walked back towards the conference room.

Hotch had never been so exhausted, he had been chasing Scratch blindly for the past few days, only to come up empty handed at the end. They still had no idea what he was doing in London or why he was targeting Beth specifically. Hotch knew of course that he wanted to hurt him, but judging from the video, he had known about Beth's affair for a few years now. He could have used that against Hotch earlier if he really wanted too, when it first happened. Why wait two years? Why come all the way over to London to play this game with him? He could have hurt Emily as well, _his stomach turned just at the thought of that, _but Morgan was right he could have taken Emily before; if hurting her was his goal, so why do this? Why was he trying to prove? He hoped they could find out soon, things were getting messy for Emily and him and now Cruz was calling him as well. The definitely needed to catch this bastard soon.

When Emily walked into her flat it was past nine; she was tired and her head was pounding, this case was literally and figuratively killing her. She just wanted to take hot shower, maybe have a glass of wine and curl in bed with Sergio and get a few hours of sleep before the nightmare began again. She wasn't surprised when she walked into her flat and she found Liam sitting on her couch nursing a glass of whisky.

"I was beginning to think you were going to spend the night with him" he said bitterly

"Liam please don't" she said putting out her palm frustradely; she tossed her purse at the kitchen island, walking further into the flat.

"Don't what?" He questioned, he was angry, he was hurt and maybe disappointed

"Don't question what is going with all of this? Why an usnub thinks your sleeping with this man? Dammit Emily I am your boyfriend"

"I know that Liam" she said tiredly going into her bar and reaching for a glass of wine, she closed her eyes changing her mind and pouring herself a glass of whisky as well, if they were going to fight she needed something stronger

"Is not me who he is after" she explained coming to join him at the sofa. "Hotch's wife is cheating on him, our original profile made us believe we was under the impression it was me and Hotch having an affair, but after you left we discovered his wife has been cheating on him" Emily explained making a face as the liquid burnt her throat.

"Is him isn't he?" Liam questioned ignoring Emily's statement about the man's wife.

"Is him what?" Emily asked confused

"He is your ex" Liam stated "The man who broke your heart? The man you basically ran away from?"

"Yeah is him" there was no point of lying to him anymore. Liam shook his head angrily, as his fist clenched

"Were you ever going to tell me that?" He asked her harshly

"Yes I was" she truly was they just hadn't really had a chance to talk

"Don't you fucking lie to me Emily" Liam stated standing up and steeping away from her

"If I have never been thrown in that case you would have never said anything" he shouted

"Liam stop screaming" Emily said calmly, she didn't have the energy to fight or even explain anything to Liam

"Do you still have feelings for him?" He questioned all of the sudden

"No I don't" Emily replied easily standing up as well and crossing her arms over her chest

"Bullshit" Liam was furious and she knew it

"You took that damn case to _help him_ and you bloody lied to me, you told me Clyde had taken the case"

"I didn't lie to you" she said rubbing her face tiredly "I told you that Clyde had agree to help them" Emily corrected "I never said who had made the decision to take the case"

"Right because it bloody matters" Liam said sarcastically "Clyde will do anything you ask him to do anyway" bit sarcastically and it was true Clyde would definitely do anything she wanted

"Is he another one of your ex's? Did you sleep with Clyde too?" He questioned angrily, before they both knew what was going on, Emily's palm collided with his face angrily.

"Go fuck yourself Liam" She said furiously walking away and barging into her room slamming the door close.

She was so angry she was shaking, first Hotch and now Liam, she hated feeling this way. She hated that she had so little control of her emotions and people could do whatever they wanted with her feelings and her. She hated the effect Hotch still had on her, and she hated that Liam could see trough that façade as well. She then remembered the kiss, and guilt ran over her body like a cold bucket of water. She sat on her bed covering her face as tears started rolling down her eyes, she hated to the feeling of letting people down, and hurting someone because she was so damn stupid and unpredictable. She didn't want to hurt Liam or Hotch, why did everything had to be so complicated.

A few minutes later the door opened and Liam walked in feeling ashamed and looking at her.

"I am so sorry love" he apologized

" I don't know what took over me Emily I am really sorry, you know I will _never ever_ say something like that to you" he came to kneel in front of her, she could see that he was truly sorry about his behavior.

He had never been disrespectful to her on the past, let alone raise his voice at her. Liam had been nothing but a gentleman with her, even during their most intimate moments he was always so caring and kind.

"I am sorry" he said again "I just... it made me crazy jealous to see him so close to you, I don't what happen Emily I just got crazy jealous" he reached for her hand, as she softly sobbed

"You think I will actually cheat on you?" She questioned her eyes damp with tears of frustration and furry. " Do you really think that low of me?"

"No love of course not, I know you wouldn't do anything like that, it still made me jealous, seeing you with him Em, knowing that he once owed your heart and maybe he still does"

"But he doesn't" she cried looking at him, he obviously didn't believe her

"Liam I am with you" she reassured him "I chose to be with you, him being here has nothing to do with us, with my feelings for you"

Liam sat at the bed next to Emily, not sure if he could believe what she was saying or not. He knew she had loved that man very much at it made him crazy jealous that he was here with her, still a part of him felt dominant over her, _she was after all his girlfriend._

"Why did you agree to help him?" he questioned softly looking down at the carpet

"Because this isn't about us Liam, this about Jack and Jayden and catching that son of a bitch" Emily said wiping her eyes, he still looked unsure.

"Liam I watched that kid grow for eight years" She explained although she didn't feel like she needed to justify to anyone why she loved Jack. "I was with his father for very long time yes, and although whatever we had is over. I will always love Jack, he was nothing to do with his father I need you to understand that"

"I know love"

"You work in field Liam; you can tell me you would never help a child because he is your ex's kid"

"I know that baby, I understand that" Liam said feeling guilty "I just... I know he hurt you a lot and you really didn't want much to do with him, but it still makes me jealous to see you with him. I just don't know..."

"I still don't want anything with him" she assured "But he will always be part of my family Liam, I didn't just have a bed in common with him. We worked together for eight years and we were part of the same team and the same family"

"I know love" he said squeezing her hand, feeling nauseous at the way she described her feelings for him. "I am sorry for what I said, for yelling at you" he reached to cup her face

"Is okay, I know how this must look to you" Emily said tiredly lacing her fingers with his "Liam I want to be with you, everything with him is over" she repeated, it was like a mantra, something she was trying to remind herself.

"I want to be with you as well baby" he kissed her lips softly pulling her for a hug.

"Good" she smiled albeit a short smile "Can we please just go to bed now?, I am not sure I have energies for anything other than a shower" She begged tiredly

"Have you eaten something?" Liam questioned caressing her face

"I ate at work, I just really need a shower, I am so exhausted I might pass out before I make it into the bathroom"

"Okay, maybe I should go home and let you rest, I know this case is killing you"

"Are you sure you want to go home" She whispered leaning against him, his manly scent feeling her nostrils.

"Yes, is late and your exhausted love, you need your rest love" he kissed her forehead " I will call you in the morning"

As much as he wanted to stay with her, he knew it wasn't probably a good idea, he was still a little sour about the whole situation, but he didn't want to stress her our more. He needed to go home as well and think about what was going on, he loved Emily so much and he truly hoped she was honest when she said everything was over and she wanted to be with him.

"Okay" she agreed standing up from the bed kissing him and hugging him "I love you" she told him; he pulled her closer deepened the kiss forgetting about everything else for a minute.

"I love you too darling" he held her close for a few minutes and then he finally released her "Get some sleep love"

He left and Emily sighed tiredly, _everything was okay with Liam at least for now_, and she truly pray this case could be over soon. She wasn't sure how much longer she could put up with everything going on, Liam's jealously, Clyde's bullshit and Aaron's games. She walked into her bathroom undressing herself and stepping into the hot shower, only a week a go everything was perfect, she was successful at her job and had everything she wanted, a boyfriend that loved her and respected her, a job most would dream off and whole life ahead of herself, now everything was upside down and Hotch was back messing her mind and her heart. But soon he would be gone and she could move on with her life and be happy again with Liam just the way she was before Hotch's call.

After her shower she changed into a pair of lounge pants and a sweatshirt, London could get really chilly at night sometimes. She was finishing drying and brushing her hair, when she heard some sort of noise coming from the kitchen, frowning she sat her hairbrush down and stepped out of the bathroom.

"Sergio" she called her cat thinking maybe he had run into something like he did sometimes. But the cat was under her bead meowing pathetically and hissing at something.

"What is going on bud?" she asked trying to look at the cat under the bed and pay attention to any abnormal noises. She carefully reached for the spare gun she kept at the safe on her room, and carefully patted out of her room.

"Liam" she called thinking maybe he had changed his mind and decided to spend the night with her, but there was no response.

She walked into the living room looking around and feeling the hairs at the back of her neck stand, she reached for the light switch when a blunt object with her head, she barely had time to react, when everything went black and she collapsed into the floor loosing consciousness.

"_**It is impossible to suffer without making someone pay for it; every complaint already contains revenge."-Friedrich Nietzsche**_


	10. Chapter 10

_**Loving You Forever is What I Need Chapter Ten**_

"_**If you prick us do we not bleed? If you tickle us do we not laugh? If you poison us do we not die? And if you wrong us shall we not revenge- William Shakespeare**_

Alina paced around her room anxiously as she tried dialing the number again, she had been trying to get a hold of Emily for the past few hours and her phone kept going straight to voicemail. Okay granted Alina knew very well Emily was an important Interpol Unit Chief, she had far more important things to do than just being on her phone all day long.

"Dammit Emily answer the phone" she said as she tossed her cellphone on the coffee table.

Under any other circumstance she wouldn't have been so worried about Emily not answering, but it was now past midnight and she had not her from the brunette. She had dropped her off at her flat a while back, the team had also gone to the hotel to take a break for the rest of the night.

Emily was supposed to talk to her boyfriend, get a shower and maybe some decent sleep if she was lucky enough, logically she knew the brunette could be asleep too. _But it was highly unlikely_, she had texted her around ten o'clock to remind her about a case file from a separate case Interpol had work the prior month, something to do with the Italian Mafia.

Additionally, Minister Chapman needed Emily's signature for some documents. _That was the most alarming part, _Emily knew perfectly well that when the London Minister needed something it had to be taken care off _right there and then_. For Emily not to answer something regarding the minister, wasn't good probably a good sign. Alina also knew that Liam and Emily were supposed to be talking and fixing their issues, of course there was always the possibility they could be _well busy_. But knowing Emily from years, she knew that with Hotch being in the country and their history together, the last thing on Emily's mind would be sex. Something was wrong, the European woman picked her cell phone again, and dialed her one more time, it went straight to voice mail. She then tried Liam, maybe Emily's phone was out of battery or something, Liam's phone went straight to voice mail as well.

"Fuck" the blonde woman said walking towards her the door, grabbing her car keys and throwing a jacket over her arms.

The team was staying at a Hotel that was just a few blocks away from Alina's place, Emily and Alina had tried to get something closer to Emily's place or the Interpol building. But given the area both places were located at, everything was booked by the time they knew the team was coming. Alina practically jogged all the way to the hotel, she figured it would be easier to walk than navigate around the still somewhat crowded streets. She walked inside the hotel lobby, walking towards the elevators. She didn't need to talk to the reception desk, she had made the reservations for the team, she knew very well who was in which room. When she arrived to the door she was looking for, she raised her knuckles somewhat desperately, the nagging feeling on her stomach only growing stronger.

A few seconds later she was face to face with the stoic unit dark haired man, she was surprised to see him fully dressed with a tired expression on his face.

"Alina" Hotch said looking at her frowning it was quiet a surprise to have her show at his hotel door.

"Is Emily with you?" She asked basically walking inside his room and looking around, not waiting for invitation to go in.

"What?" Hotch asked confused "No she is not here, what is going on?" how dare she to just barge into his room like that.

"When was the last time you talk to her?" She asked turning around to face him, reflected tiredness and worry.

"Alina what is going?"

"I can't get a hold of her" she finally said her voice almost breaking

"What do you mean? I though you took her home?" now it was Hotch who was starting to feel something at the pit of his stomach.

"I did, a few hours ago, and now she is not answering"

"Maybe she is asleep, wasn't her boyfriend supposed to stay with her?" Hotch's mind immediately went to a place he had been avoiding since he got there. She is just sleeping, he tried to convince himself.

"No she is not sleeping trust me" Alina said as she faced him "Something is not right Hotch, Liam isn't answering either"

"Did you tried Clyde?"

"Hotch if Scratch...,,." Alina hardly finished her eyes already filling.

"Let's go..." Hotch said without even thinking reaching for his weapon and keys and following Alina out hallway.

"Dave meet me at the lobby with the rest of the team please" he said into his phone as they rushed towards the elevators

"Are you sure she is not busy with Liam or really sleeping?" Hotch questioned, although he knew the answer to that. He knew better than anyone Emily wasn't the time to sleep through her phone ringing, none of them really were given their jobs

"No, she is not, I been calling her for a few hours now, the minister wanted a signature and he couldn't get a hold of her either"

Hotch's stomach turned again, Dammit, he should have known better than to let her go home alone. How could he have been so stupid and reckless, if something happened to Emily he would never forgive himself. As soon as they stepped out into the lobby Hotch pulled out his phone dialing another number.

"Eastern" the British man said in a sleepy voice

"Please meet me and my team at Emily's apartment" Hotch stated trying to maintain a bit of decorum.

"What happen?" Clyde was up immediately "Is she okay?"

"We don't know; she is not answering just meet us there please"

"What is going on?" Morgan said walking towards them with the rest of the team following them

"Emily isn't answering her phone" Alina explained concern growing on her voice

"I thought she was with Liam?" JJ said as the same feeling of fear took over her body as well

"I can't get a hold of him either, I have been trying for a few hours now"

"Alina you can drive one the trucks, and I will drive the other one" Rossi ordered since he was the only on the team with enough experience driving on London

"Lets go" Hotch said praying to God that Emily was just sleeping, hell even is she was in bed with Liam, he didn't care, he just wanted her to be fine.

When they arrived to her flat they rushed in to third floor where her door was located at, Hotch's world crashed in front of him, when they realized her door was already ajar. _This couldn't be true, please God, don't let it be true._

"Oh my god" Alina covered her mouth, drawing her weapon and following Hotch and Rossi inside Emily's place.

Her purse and cellphone were in the kitchen counter, her coat was draped of her couch, other than that; there was no other indication that the brunette was there. It wasn't until they were about to walk into her room, that Morgan noticed Emily's weapon on the floor, next to a baseball bat, with a small drip of blood on it.

"He has her" he said in a whisper turning to look at the team and picking Emily's gun from the floor.

"Oh my god" JJ's eyes filled with tears, she should have asked Emily to stay at the hotel with her

"What the hell happened?" Clyde barged in followed by Liam, he had been phoning the Irish guy non stop after Hotch's call, and ask him to meet at Emily's place.

"Scratch has Emily" Alina said as she tried to maintain calm.

"You were supposed to stay with her, why did you left her" Hotch said furiously shoving Liam away, if something happened to Emily he will kill him, he was supposed to stay with her and keep her safe

"Aaron calm down" Dave reached for him this wasn't the time for another testosterone match.

"I was with her, we got into a fight and I just figured she wanted some space" Liam replied feeling guiltier than ever and glaring back at Hotch

"You got in a fight and you left her? Are you bloody stupid?" Clyde turned to question angrily, he could not believe what he was hearing

"She said Scratch wasn't after her anymore, I just wanted to give her space...I just wanted her to rest"

"If something happens to her..." Hotch was inches from his face, he was sheeting and he wanted nothing but kill him with his bare hand "I will kill you with my own hands...you should have never left her alone"

"This is all your fault Agent Hotchner you came here and brought this bastard...if you have never called, she would be fine" Liam said unable to contain himself, but before he could add anything else Hotch's fist collided with his face sending him to the ground

"You fucking coward" he spat "She is your girlfriend, what kind of piece of shit leaves her alone because of a fight" he was going to go after for him again but Morgan managed to hold him

"Hotch stop man this isn't going to solve anything, we need to go and find her"

"Agents you both need to calm down, our priority is finding Emily" Clyde said assuming charge of the situation

"You two idiots fighting over who was supposed to do what is not going to help find her"

" And Liam next time you get angry with your girlfriend, go take a shower, you knew she was a target, you should have never left her alone" The message was loud and clear, Clyde hated Hotchner more than anyone else including Liam, but he had clearly fucked up by leaving her alone at all.

"I don't understand why he took Emily, I thought it was Beth who he wanted" Spencer said looking around for any sings that could indicate where he Scratch had taken Emily

"Maybe he wants Hotch to trade Emily for Beth?" JJ suggested her own eyes stinging with tears

"There is something on that profile we are missing, there was a reason why he left Emily's picture at that crime scene...he wants to hurt Hotch but Emily means something for Scratch as well"

"Of course she does" Alina finally snapped "She is the only woman Hotch is ever loved"

"What?" Morgan asked confused, Spencer and him were probably the only ones that didn't know the full story about Emily and Hotch, well Garcia didn't know either but she wasn't there right now. Okay JJ knew because she was Emily's best friend and she had a pretty good feeling, and Rossi just knew everything, but the team had never really know about their relationship or what had happened with them for the past eight years.

"Emily and I were together for a very long time before she left"

"Are you serious?" Morgan asked angrily "And you didn't think it was important for us to know this?"

"Morgan"

"No" Morgan shouted "He is here to hurt her because of you, all this time you know how Emily fit into the profile and you didn't think it was important to tell us"

"It was Emily's decision not to tell you guys" Hotch explained "When I started my relationship with Beth and she moved here she wanted to keep that from you guys, I know..."

"You knew Scratch will go after her sooner or later, and you didn't say shit you are just as cowards as her boyfriend..." Morgan barged outside of the apartment angrily

"We need to stop arguing over who did what or not" JJ intervened her eyes full of tears "Blaming everyone else isn't doing anything...Emily is out there and..."

"Lets get back to the Interpol building, we need to start our profile again" Clyde agree leaving the apartment as well, with JJ and Rossi following after him.

"Alina..." Hotch turned around to face her

"I know is not your fault..." she said in soft tone "We need to focus on finding her nothing else matters anymore"

Alina wasn't mad at Hotch not really; she was angrier with Liam for leaving Emily alone. She knew very well the story behind their relationship, she didn't really blame Hotch, she knew there had been a lot more than just his wife between them, Emily stubbornness for once. They both loved each other deeply and tried to get out of each others way by hurting the other. Only to leave themselves hurting and yearning for the other.

"They just found another body" Clyde said meeting everyone at the reception area of Emily's apartment complex.

"Oh my god is...?" JJ couldn't even form the words

"I don't think so" Clyde assured them "Metro PD said it was a male" Hotch just nodded feeling a sense of relief wash over him.

"Dave why don't you go back to Interpol with Morgan, JJ and Reid, we need to search on Emily's office and her computer"

"Okay, just meet us there when you are done with the crime scene" Rossi agreed heading out the door as well.

When they arrived to the crime scene, Hotch, Alina got out of the car, they approached the police officers.

"What do you have gentleman?" Clyde asked looking over the body that was now covered by a white sheet.

"Male on his fifties, a single shot to the head, execution style" The younger blond guy said

"This doesn't fit our profile" Hotch interjected

"Are you sure?" The gentleman asked "It looks like he was tortured, they cut out his fingers and then they carved something onto his chest" the guy said uncovering the body. But Alina and Hotch gasped when they read the words _"Love is pain Hotchner"_ carved into the mans chest.

"Oh my god" Alina covered her mouth when she recognized the death make on the floor, Clyde turned to look at her frowning in confusion

"Do you know this man?" He asked

"Yes" she said emptily "Emily and I know him, we used to work with him"

"He was a CIA Agent" the dark skin guy told them

"Alina" Clyde said looking at her question "What is going on here?"

"I need to make a call" she said walking away from them and talking on her phone

"Is there something I need to know?" Hotch questioned

"Your guess is as good mine Agent Hotchner" Clyde said with the same confusion look, something was definitely going on

"Agent Hotchner" Alina returned to the scene "Can you have the rest of your team meet as at Interpol Building?"

"What is in going on?" He questioned seriously

"I don't know just yet" she vaguely answered, Hotch however grabbed onto her arm

"Emily is missing, if you are hiding anything from us that might help..."

"I think I know why took Emily okay" Alina responded looking at Hotch seriously "Just please listen to me, there is someone meeting us down there, I can tell you here..."

"Alina" Clyde started knowing as well how important it was to know every single detail about the case.

"Dammit Clyde just trust me please...we don't know if Scratch is listening or who he works for him right now"

"Fine then, lets go" Clyde agreed, as both agents followed her into the SUV, Alina drove all the way back to the office lost in thought. Hotch kept watching her warily, the longer it past, the lower the possibilities they had of finding Emily alive. He could only pray Scratch had just taken Emily with the intension of blackmailing him and not to really hurt her, they needed to be out there looking for her.

When they arrived to Interpol, Alina escorted them to the nine floor, none of them had really been there. In fact, Clyde was one of the few people that had actually been there in a few occasions, the nine floor of the Interpol building was reserved strictly for governmental meetings were presidents, ambassadors, and ministers usually met regarding security issues between governments. It was a protected chamber, against terrorist attacks, were government officials could be kept safe in case a government attack took place, they hardly ever let anyone else access that room. Clyde frowned looking at Alina but opened the door either way, the rest of the team was already their waiting for them, and so was another older gentleman, it was the same man Alina and Morgan had gone to see their first day in London.

"Archibald" Clyde said smiling at shaking the older gentleman's hand, Clyde had already crossed paths with the older guy on the past.

"A pleasure to see you Clyde"

"Alina darling" Archibald gave her a gentle hug

"Thanks for coming Archi, this is Agent Hotchner and the rest of his team"

"A pleasure to meet you" He said shaking everyone's hands "Archibald Vichada" Hotch's mouth almost dropped when he heard the name

"I heard of you" he stated shaking the older man's hand "You did security jobs for the NSA"

"He has taken down almost every terrorist group in Europe" Clyde added "He doesn't just do security jobs..." Clyde continued as they sat down

"He is the _Black Sparrow_"

"What is Black Sparrow?" Spencer questioned

"The biggest secret agency on Europe, and even America" Rossi said still unable to believe he was standing in front of this man

"They have put people in protective custody you have never even heard off" Rossi continued shaking the man's hand

"Can you tell us why are we here?" Hotch asked growing more concerned, how in the hell did Alina and Clyde knew this man, that could only mean that Emily knew him as well.

"The man that was murdered is Luciano Martin" Alina started "He worked for NSA and CIA a while back, that is how Emily and I meet him, he was never a part of the JTF-12 Force, but he was keeping tabs on other cases specially on the Irish mob, he has been working for Black Sparrow since then"

"Okay how is he related to this case, and more importantly to Scratch?" Hotch asked still not understanding, Alina turned to look at Archibald, who cleared his throat and began speaking

"Black Sparrow doesn't just do any protective services" He said looking out the window "We have kept very serious people identity protected, Walter Hallstein, Charle DeGaulle, Winston Churchill, and many others including some of the most dangerous people you cant even imagine"

"The reason Black Sparrow was created it was because we believed the security of our country was compromised many times, protecting people wasn't just about putting them into protective custody, it was about more than that...there was a time when the Italian Mafia was able to break through our most trained agents, and still get the information they wanted on the people we kept under protection., so we developed a new system that wasn't as easy to decode if one of our sources became compromised."

"I don't understand"

"Black Sparrow uses a set of coordinates, and codes to encrypt the location of whoever we have under custody, those coordinates and codes are then broken into three smaller codes, each code is assigned to different undercover agent, people that have absolutely nothing to do with Black Sparrow or the victims"

"Luciano had one of the codes for where your family's location is at Agent Hotchner" Alina said

"So that is why Scratch kill, he was part of the code" Morgan interjected

"Who else is part of the code?" Hotch asked although he already knew the answer

"He usually don't reveal the identity of our Agents, for their own protection and for our client's protection" Archibald said in a long whisper "But given the circumstances...I have no choice but to tell you that information. The second man is being tracked down by my man right now, we have not been able to locate him yet, his name is Russell Norway, until we find him death or alive we have no way of knowing if his part of the code has been compromised"

"Who is the last code?" Rossi asked

"Emily..." Alina said unable to help herself

"What?" JJ asked shocked "Emily was part of the code? Why would she do that? And why would you let her? This is too personal for her"

"Because she knew very well even with all of our security measures, the man you are looking for has managed to break into the NSA, FBI, SWAT and Interpol data base before" Archibald said

"She made herself part of the code because it was the only way to keep your family safe" Alina said tears already forming on her eyes again.

"She was trying to protect Beth and the kids" Rossi said finally catching on "Scratch already killed one of the man that are part of the code, is only a matter of time before he breaks the other one and gets the second code, she made herself part of the code because she knew even if Scratch managed to find the other two agents she would never reveal her part code"

"Do you guys know what Scratch is capable off?" Morgan asked unable to believe what he was hearing "If Emily is part of that encrypted information he would not stop until he gets what he wants from her" 

"Emily would not break in that easily" JJ said her heart was breaking just to imagine what Scratch was capable of doing she could only pray that Emily was fine. "She would not just tell Scratch that easily"

"She will if he tortures her enough" Morgan continued "He has done horrible things to others just to make them talk, he can break anyone he wants to, he could break Emily too"

"No he wont" Hotch said convinced feeling his heart brake even further, he knew very well how strong Emily was he knew that Scratch will never be able to crack her down.

"Hotch he could kill her...you have no idea what he is capable of doing if he..."

"He will never break her" Archibald said looking at them "I have never seen anyone with the strength and determination Emily has"

"What do you mean?" Spencer asked

"I have work for Black Sparrow for two decades, I have seen agents come and go, most can even handle the training..." he began explaining

"What Black Sparrow has to do to protect the confidentially of our information isn't easy, moist agents wont even survive training, in order to assure these agents would protect Black Sparrow they are subject to very stressful training scenarios, including mock torture..." JJ's eyes filled with tears as she listened to the man talk.

"In the twenty years I have work for them only three women have survived the training...and made it all the way to the end... Emily is one of them, that is why she made herself part of the case"

"Emily was part of Black Sparrow?" Hotch asked

"She was when she first started at the CIA, she was to good for this job and she joined the JTF-12 task force, she is the strongest woman I have ever know the man you are looking for will never brake her no matter what he does" Archibald said with a mixture of pride and sadness

"So that is a good thing right?" Spencer asked "I mean not that he has her, but that he wont be able to break her that easily.? I mean she is strong"

"Yeah she is strong which means he will have to kill her, and even then she wont tell him where they are at" Aaron concluded feeling real fear for the first time in a very long time, if Emily had intentionally made herself part of the code, it meant she already knew what Scratch was after

"What is it Aaron?" Rossi asked

"Is not Beth who Scratch wants" he said all of the sudden "He wants Jayden"

"He wants your son?" Alina asked

"He was talking about adultery and sin all this time, the connection isn't how Beth remind him of his mother... is what my son represents for him. That is why Emily make herself part of the code, she knew he will try to go after my son" he ended feeling for the first time in his life that he wasn't alive himself.

"Scratch wants you to chose between Emily or your son" Dave concluded with the same look of fear on his face.

"_**Death is terrible for anyone. Young or old, good or evil, it's all the same. Death is impartial. There is no especially terrible death. That's why death is so fearsome. Your deeds, your age, your personality, your wealth, your beauty: they are all meaningless in the face of death."**_

― _**Sunako Kirishiki Shiki**_


	11. Chapter 12

_**Loving You Forever is What I Need Chapter Eleven**_

"_**What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains and is immortal." Albert Pin**_

Emily struggled to open her eyes, due the excruciating pain in her ribs; although her eyes were closed she knew she wasn't on her bed, or even her apartment. She attempted to move her legs at no avail, her head was pounding and she was almost positive she had a concussion. She hardly remembers what happened or what day it was, last thing she remembered was going out to dinner with Liam and then coming home, everything else was a haze. _What was that weird smell?_ She thought, it was like a combination of iodine and Clorox, it reminded Emily a chemical lab. She took a series of deep breaths in an attempt to calm herself down, her eyelids felt so heavy over her eyes, why did her head hurt so much, and why couldn't she move her legs, where the hell was Liam?

After several attempts she finally managed to open her eyes, the somewhat bright light blinded her, forcing her to close her eyes again. She opened her eyes one more time, the image in front of her becoming clearer, she was in a room, with a bright lamp above her, it wasn't a hospital or even a lab like she had imagine. It was just a tattered room, she was laying in an old bed, and although she wasn't restrained she was not able to move her body on her own. When she attempted sit up, a sharp pain on her ribs making her cry in pain, she closed her eyes again as tears rolled down her eyes.

Okay she was officially freaking out, where the hell was she and what was going on? She took another deep breath, _she knew what to do in circumstance like this_, she was a damn trained agent, she knew that remaining calm was the first rule of survival. Tears slide down her eyes from the throbbing pain in her ribs and head, okay something wasn't right? What if she was just dreaming? she gasped as another sharp pain pierced through her ribs when she tried to move again.

"Be careful Emily, don't try to move you have been impaled o the ribs and stomach" A cold voice spoke very close to her. Emily blinked rapidly and the she opened her eyes again.

Fear and worry filled her face when she saw Peter Lewis aka Scratch standing next to her, with a satisfied grin.

_Then everything came back to her mind more clearly, images flied rapidly above her closed eyes. Hotch calling her to help him catch Scratch, the team flying down there, the murders, Beth cheating on Hotch, and then her being at her apartment alone, and the blow to heard head. Scratch had her he had taken her from her house..._

"Son of a bitch" Emily muttered closing her eyes to keep herself from screaming due to the acute pain. Now she was definitely more lucid, the pain kept increasing by the second making it very difficult to do anything without crying in agony.

"Hello Emily, is such a pleasure to meet you"

"You fucking piece shit" Emily said angrily still unable to move much without grimacing on pain

"Come on Emily what kind of language is that?" Scratch asked smirking at her "I will have expected better from an ambassador daughter with such a high upbringing"

Emily closed her eyes again, unable to control her anger and tolerate the pain she was feeling, but one thing she knew for sure, she wasn't going to let Scratch see her beg for her life, if he was going to kill her, she will not give him the pleasure of seeing her suffer.

"Why don't you just go straight to point and save all your bullshit" She bit gasping as another wave of pain shot through her body, she knew she needed to control her breath to maintain her sanity.

"Come on Emily we are just getting started, you haven't even play my game" The satisfied grin on his face only made Emily more sick.

"I am not doing it" she said between heaved gasps "Whatever it is that you want, I wont do it, so go ahead and kill me but I wont do anything you ask"

Scratch laughed shaking his head, and walking away from her, and returning with a needle and a small glass container with some sort of medications.

"Tell me something Emily" he said as he began to fill the needle with whatever was on the glass container.

Emily tried to keep her mind relax, if he was going to drug her it was probably going to be with the same narcotics he had used on his victims. He wanted to give her some sort of hallucinogens, she knew she needed to keep calm, she could see past the drugs if she relaxed enough, either way she wasn't going to do what he asked. She knew his profile better than anyone and what he had done to his victim's, she had a pretty good shoot at making it out alive.

"How is it that you are still protecting a man who broke your heart and chose another woman over you?"

"You have absolutely no idea what love is" she replied harshly

"Don't I?" Scratch asked holding the needle close to her "What is love to you Emily? Why don't you enlighten me?"

"You talk about love like is something magical, yet you have never even loved enough, not by Aaron or your own mother, have you? " he grinned again injecting Emily with whatever he had on the needle

"No, no, no" she said but all of the sudden she felt to dizzy and heavy to think. Maybe it wasn't hallucinogens what he was giving her, suddenly the pain started to disappear and she was filled with nothing but calm and peace, her eyes grew heavy again and she felt into a peaceful sleep.

_Twelve-year-old Emily Prentiss walked around the big fancy mansion, they were stationary on France now; her mothers sixth post since Emily could remember. She didn't even care about settling down or even making friends in the country, what was the point. Before she knew it they will be gone again and she will have to start all over again. Sometimes she wished she could have a normal life and be a normal kid, hell she wished she had normal parents, even if they were poor, she just wished they didn't have to constantly fight over everything and move around the world every few months. _

_Her parents had been having issues for a while now and Emily hated to listen to their arguments all the time. She could hear them as she walked around the hall arguing on the study. She was going to head back outside maybe explore the new house when something on their conversation caught her attention. _

"_Please like you care about me or your daughter" The ambassador said as Emily approached the door. She knew it wasn't polite to listen to adult conversations but apparently this time they were fighting about her_

"_Emily has nothing to do with this Elizabeth" Charles Prentiss said "The only thing you care about is your job and what the world thinks about you" he turned to look at her "You could care less about Emily don't you think I notice the way you treat her and the way you see her, as if you were embarrassed or ashamed of her"_

"_Don't be ridiculous Charles I love Emily" the ambassador defended "I just think that everything would have been easier if had a male son"_

"_Don't you dare to talk about my daughter like that" he was inches across from the ambassador face, Emily had never seen him so angry. "She is the best thing, probably the only good thing that ever happen between us" _

"_I know that Charles" The woman took a sip of her liquor "Just look at the world we live on, this environment, is hard for a woman to survive this" she said sitting down on the leather sofa, she knew that better than anyone._

"_Emily will struggle to fit in, you know what this world does to weak person"_

"_Emily is not weak" Charles shouted unable to believe what he was hearing "Is that the reason you have always treated Emily the way you had because she is a woman?"_

"_The Prentisses would end with us, the name would die with us, if she had been a boy our blood would have continued" The ambassador said in a long whisper clearly showing her disapoinment _

"_Are you listening to yourself?" He asked incredulously "She is our daughter, how could you care about the name and your society status more than your own daughter?"_

"_For God's sake don't be so dramatic Charles" the ambassador continued "Of course I care about our daughter, all I am saying is she would have had more chances by being a male, this world is ruled by males, women are to weak to be in power, and the ones that do have done the unthinkable" _

"_Yeah don't I know that" Charles said sadly "Your job and the politics have destroyed everything, the love that I had for you, your integrity as a person and now your ability to be a mother and love your child"_

"_Jesus! Charles you take everything so literal"_

"_I want a divorce Elizabeth"_

"_What?" The ambassador asked almost dropping the glass of scotch she was drinking "Are you kidding me?"_

"_You can stay here and do whatever you want with this job and the power you have, but I wont let you destroy my happiness or Emily's" _

"_Oh please Emily is hardly happy, have you meet your daughter?" The woman asked coldly "She is such a freak"_

"_Go to hell Elizabeth" Charles said angrily "I am taking Emily back to America, everything is over" he said walking towards the door. Emily sat there for a second tears soaking her face, but she was able to move fast enough as soon as she saw her father approaching the door. _

_She ran out of the house and into the land without looking back, tears kept rolling down her eyes non stop. That was the whole reason her mother hated her so much, because she wasn't a man? All these years she had grown wondering why her mother was so hard on her, why she never met her expectations, why nothing she did was good enough. Her mother never wanted her to begin with, she wanted the Prentiss name to continue reigning and because of Emily it would end there, that was the only reason her mother hated her, because she wasn't enough for her, she wasn't a boy, she was weak and would never be what her mother wanted. _

"Where is that place you go Emily?" Scratch asked smiling "Why don't you tell me?"

"You motherfucker! You wont destroy that I wont let you" Emily cried, when he realized what Scratch was doing he wasn't trying to torture her with pain, he was using Emily's memories and insecurities to get through her.

"It must have been really hard to be such a disappointment for your mother, to never be able to be what she wanted"

"Is this what you think you have?" Emily asked gaining courage "To try to make me see what I failed at? You think I will do what you ask just because you show me a few memories of childhood"

"Oh Emily, I am offended" he replied smirking sarcastically

"I am not trying to point out any of failures, I am merely showing you love hurt's too, especially when the person we loved the most is the one who hurt us"

"Just like your own mother did?" She asked angrily "She left you and your father to be with someone else, is that what this is about? Is that why you killed so many people"

"My mother was a slut that deserved everything she got" Scratch said angrily

"So that justifies all the people you have hurt? Because your mother left and never wanted you?" She asked incredulously

"Well Emily anyone that grows in an environment like that, with extreme abusive behavior, is not surprise that some people grow up to become killers" Scratch said

"And some grow to catch them" Emily said in a small gasp, the pain was starting to return again whatever drug he had given her was starting to subside "They will catch you eventually, I know Hotch will, they will find you"

Scratched laughed deeply making Emily shiver, she needed to remain calm, if she wanted to gain control of her body again.

"Please don't make me laugh Agent Hotchner is the whole reason that you are here to begin with, because of his damn ego. Because he never had the balls to fight for you, or fight for what he wanted, he was a coward" he pointed getting close to her again

"Explain something to me" Emily look at him refusing to show any fear

"How is it that such a beautiful and intelligent woman is in love with a piece of shit like him?"

"You have no idea what you no idea what you are talking about"

"I think I do" he smiled caressing her cheek making her flinch with disgust "Hasn't he broken your heart like three of four times?" he questioned

"Think about it Emily how many things have you sacrificed for him? And he still chose to marry another woman and be with her"

She closed her eyes again, she couldn't let Scratch get to her, she needed to maintain her calm exterior, what wanted to to get through her mind so he could break her, she needed to be strong and realize everything he was doing was just to get trough her. Scratch reached for the needle one more time, injecting Emily with it

"No please just stop" She asked tiredly, she knew she was strong she just wasn't sure how long will she be able to resist

_Emily Prentiss was looking out the window of her apartment complex, as tears rolled down her eyes, she hated to cry like this, she hated showing her emotions and allowing other to see them, she crossed her arms over her chest, shaking her head, wishing this wouldn't hurt as much as it did._

"_Emily" Hotch said coming closer and trying to reach for her arm_

"_Don't touch me Aaron" she flinched away from his touch, she was so angry at him right now_

"_Baby, I am sorry...I..." but he couldn't even form the words_

"_Just leave Aaron please" she begged wiping her eyes and turning to face him determination on her voice._

"_I can fix this Em, I will do anything it takes, please" the dark haired man begged. _

"_Fix what?" she responded furiously "She is fucking pregnant! How do you fix that?Your girlfriend is pregnant and you are here telling me you can fix this" Anger was rising trough her veins again. She couldn't stand seeing the man in front of her, it hurt to damn much,_

_Only five weeks a go, he had finally showed up to her place, asking her to marry him; they had been dancing around this relationship, if I could even be called one for over six years. The team didn't really know; no one really knew besides their closest friends. When they first started whatever this was Emily was okay with hiding it from the team, they knew they had too much to risk, but years had passed, they keep trying and the breaking up and there was always something that stop them from really being in the relationship Emily wanted with him. It was always either the BAU, or Strauss, or Haley, the team, the fraternization rules. She was so tired of hiding from the team to be with him, of being his dirty secret, of not being able to scream to the world that Emily Prentiss loved Aaron Hotchner. So finally Emily gained courage to end everything between them, she gained the courage to tell Hotch to move on with his life and leave her alone, to date some other people and find the happiness they couldn't find on each other with other partners. _

_Soon enough Emily started going out more often with the girls and going to dance, attempting to be happy without him. It was working great until Hotch meet Beth Clemons at at the park, apparently he and Morgan had been training and they ran into this girl. Morgan immediately began to persuade the unit chief to go out with her, and to give himself a chance of being happy. Morgan of course didn't know about Emily and whatever had been between them. Even Emily told him to go for it and allow himself to really be happy with someone else, but soon they realized they weren't really over each other, that they probably would never be, Aaron ended things with Beth and went after Emily once again. _

_He finally told her that he will fight for her like he should have years ago, that he wont let her walk away this time, that he would do whatever it took to make her happy. He will finally come clean with team and everyone about their relationship, he was willing to wheatear it took to be with Emily, so he come to her apartment one afternoon, and basically got on his knees and beg for forgiveness, he then proposed Emily and told him she was the only woman he will ever love._

_Emily couldn't believe it at first, for so long she had waited for that day, the day that he finally stopped sneaking around and come clean to the team about them. She couldn't believe she finally had his heart all for herself, little did she know her happiness would be over before it even started, Beth called him five weeks later, telling him she was pregnant and she was going to keep the baby. And everything shattered for Emily again, just went she thought she will finally achieve happiness with him, another woman was pregnant with his baby. Maybe they were never meant to be._

"_I know that Emily, and I will be there for that baby, but is not her who l love" he said tryng to hold her again, but she recoiled from his touch_

"_Right, that is why you slept with her"_

"_Emily please" Aaron said looking at her imploring "You are the one who told me to be with her and move on from you..."_

"_And now you have" Hot tears slide down her cheeks "Go be a father Aaron"_

"_I love you Emily" he said feeling his heart break "Is you who I will always love no matter what happens"_

"_You had me for eight years" she turned to face him again, it broke his heart to see her so angry her beautiful eyes full of angry tears_

"_You had a chance to make me happy for years, and you didn't, you broke my hear three times...and even then I was still a dirty little secret for you..."_

"_Emily you never were a dirty secret...I loved you if you don't know that"  
_

"_You were with her for six months" she reproached "In six months you introduced her to the team and she is having your child! That says it all Aaron"  
_

"_Baby..."_

"_No Aaron" she wiped her eyes one more time "Go be a father, and I will go to London, I will take the job and that is it..."_

"_Sweetheart please, I don't want that...I love you Emily more than anything..."  
_

"_Is Beth still pregnant?" she asked her eyes sparkling with anger_

"_Yeah" he responded in a whisper_

"_Then there is your answer Aaron" she turned his back to him again. "Please leave...I don't want to have to call the police just go..."_

_He sat there watching her for one more minute, his heart breaking in a million pieces, he will never love anyone the way he loved her, no matter what happened, he promised to himself he will never forget her._

When Emily opened her eyes again, they were soaking with tears, her heart ache so much, she had gone all they way across the ocean to forget him, and years later, it still hurt like it was the first day. Scratch was getting to her, she needed to act soon.

"It hurts' doesn't it Emily?" Scratch asked smiling at her enjoying the control he had over her emotions

"It hurts when you love someone so deeply, yet they loved someone else" 

"You have never loved anyone your whole miserable life" Emily said in a whimper, the pain was returning again, she wasn't really sure what was it that Scratch was using on her, it could be something like Diluadid, like Tobias Hankel had done with Spencer many years ago, a narcotic used to numb main and unblock repressed memories. He wanted to show how much pain Hotch had caused her too see if he could turn her against him. She needed to be careful, he obviously knew Emily was strong and he wasn't going to be able to break her that easy, but he was using one of her biggest weakness against her, and she wasn't sure how much longer she could hold on.

"What is exactly that you want?" She asked biting her lip to keep herself from screaming in pain when another sharp pain pierced her ribs. "You think showing me all these memories would turn me into a serial killer, you think I will hurt someone because of what Aaron did to me, your delusional..."

"Everyone has a breaking point Emily"

"There you are wrong" she said looking at him "Not everyone choses to hurt people because someone else hurt us, you are deranged. no matter what you do to to, you wont break me I wont do anything you want..."

"Are you sure about that?" he questioned smiling at her "Why are you trying to protect someone that has caused you so much pain?" He asked genuinely concerned

"Beth has nothing to do with this...with whatever happed with Hotch and I, you hurting her doesn't prove anything"

"Well well well Emily" he responded laughing "Nice try, but you already know is not her who I want, so stop putting the nice innocent act" 

Emily closed her eyes hoping that he didn't noticed her heart racing, she knew very well he wasn't after Beth or Sean Hotchner, he was after the kids, and she will never reveal their location no matter what he did to her.

"Explain something to me Peter?" she asked facing him again

"What is it Emily?"

"I know you don't want Beth" she breathed gasping for air "You want to hurt me and Hotch, why go after the kids they have done nothing to the kids"

"Come Emily don't be naïve" He caressed her cheek "You already know why I want the kids" 

"See Emily your beloved Agent Hotchner once told that only a monster will turn into a criminal because of his past" Scratch said with a small laugh "I want to show him and you how everyone can turn into a criminal..."

"So after I make YOU kill Agent Hotchner..." he said whispering on her ear

"I will make little Jack kill his little brother, after all it would be his fault that both his mother and father die...who knows maybe Little Jack can one day be he next Mr Scratch..." the cold laugh made Emily shiver unable to believe what she was hearing

"No, I will not let you destroy Jack's life like that, I will never tell you where he is..." she vowed "You can kill me and do whatever you want but you will never go near those children..."

"Then let me test that resolve Emily..." he reached for an electric wire touching Emily's chest with it, as the electrical current pierced trough her entire body like fire.

"Noooooo stop" she cried in pain, unable to help herself, she really wished he just kill her, it might hurt less.

"_**Every man dies – not every man really lives." – William Ross Wallace**_


	12. Chapter 13

_**Loving You Forever Is What I Need Chapter Twelve**_

"_**Just because we don't talk any more, doesn't mean that I've forgotten about you. It doesn't mean that I no longer care. Truth is, I still do. I do my best to check up on you, to see how you're doing. To see if you're okay, but every time I get the urge to talk to you, it suddenly hits me that we're strangers. You don't want me in your life, hence the reason why I'm no longer a part of you. But, even though everything's changed; I just want you to know that I'm still here. I'll still be here for you. I'll still lend you my shoulders and my ears. I don't care what time it is, what I'm doing. Don't hesitate for talk to me because, half the time, I wish that you were talking to me. I just really miss your presence. I miss you being my best friend. I just miss you in general."— Author Unknown**_

Penelope Garcia barely managed to get off the plain at Heathrow Airport, before her eyes filled with tears. Only a year ago she had been at the same airport with JJ and Spencer visiting Emily, they had been so happy, Penelope couldn't stop chirping the entire flight from Washington D.C, all the way to London. Their vacation had been amazing, and the technical analyst wasn't ready for it to be over when it was time to go home. She remembered holding onto Emily as if her life depended on it, she wished she could have stayed to live with Emily forever. Now a year later she was here again, but it wasn't a pleasure trip at all, that same friend she had held at the airport for what it felt like forever, had been taken by one of the most dangerous criminals the FBI had ever seen.

She had not bee able to stop crying since Morgan call her to tell her Scratch had taken Emily and she needed to come to London as soon as possible to help the team. As she made her way trough the crowded airport, she could only pray they were able to find their friend soon, she would never forgive herself if something happened to Emily. She saw JJ wave at her from the corner of the arrivals waiting room, next to her with a concern frown was David Rossi talking on his phone. Garcia pushed trough a couple of people and was finally face to face with the blonde profiler, her eyes were swimming again, and she couldn't help but throw herself to the blonde's arms as she softly sobbed.

"JJ, I can't do this" she cried softly "I don't know how to do this...if something happens to her I just cant .." Garcia said her eyes empting as she held into one of her best friends

"I know babe" the blonde woman said holding the technical analyst close her "We will find her; we need to be strong for her okay?" JJ finally faced her friend, her own eyes soaked in tears, she was never one to cry in front of people but this was personal for everyone. Emily wasn't just a work partner and someone she had befriended over the years due to the extensive hours of work. Emily was her best friend, her sister, her family, maybe not biologically but over the last ten years they had shared so much, they just simply became more than family.

"I know that I just..." The technical analyst breathed in trying to control herself from sobbing pathetically

"I can work like this, knowing that one of you is out there in danger and every little move I make can put your life at risk even further..."

"Penelope is okay, just breath..." JJ attempted to calm the analyst "We will find here babe, I promise" they hugged once again and Penelope finally let out a smile, a very short one albeit.

"How is Derek?" She asked wiping her eyes and waving at Rossi who was still on the phone

"He is pissed at Hotch" JJ responded raising her eyebrows in a meaningful way

"I can imagine" the analyst said still unable to believe that Emily was missing and that she and Hotch had been in a relationship while she was in the states for close to a decade.

"How is it that for eight years none of us knew they were dating? I mean I am the queen of finding out about dirty secrets? How could I have miss this?" she asked incredulously laughing and trying to forget for at least a moment her best friend was in danger.

"I guess we just didn't really pay that much attention, and come on they are both masters at masking their emotions" JJ said brushing a strand of hair behind her ear, unlike everyone else JJ did know everything about their relationship, Emily had ONLY told JJ about everything, _every single detail_.

"Oh I know, oh my god, how is Hotch?" Penelope asked all of the sudden as their started walking towards the car following the Italian Man out of the airport.

"He is Hotch" JJ taking Penelope's suitcase and following Dave who still have not gotten of the phone and didn't seem to happy "He is coping but wont talk to us at all" 

"This must be really hard for him, finding out about his wife and brother, and now Emily is missing" But Jj wasn't able to respond when they both heard Rossi about to end his call.

"Okay just call me if you hear anything" Rossi finally said onto his phone, closing the device and putting it away.

"Penelope, how are you?" he said pulling the analyst into a warm hug knowing that out of everyone on the team, Penelope was the one that was affected the most easily.

"Promise me that will find her" was her response holding the older man close, as tears filled her eyes again.

"I promise you that I will die trying" Dave said smiling kindly and feeling fear for the first time in his life, but one thing he was sure about, they will die trying to save Emily if they had to.

After that they just got on the truck and Dave proceeded to drive back to the Interpol building, what usually would have been an amicable ride between family, it was filled with silence and sorrow. Dave really prayed they could find Emily soon, while he usually was the one that maintained the team together, he was really struggling. Emily was like a daughter for him, maybe the daughter he never had, it something happened to her, he knew it would destroy the team completely.

When they arrived back at the Interpol building, the rest of the team was going over their victimology again, hoping maybe Scratch had made any little mistake that could lead them to where he was keeping Emily. JJ and Alina helped Garcia to install her computers in the conference room, where she could have access to the system and still be able to assist the team in other task. Hotch was talking to Clyde about any possible leads, as much as the British guy hated the Unit Chief, he knew right now it was his best choice at catching Scratch and saving Emily.

Meanwhile Rossi went to make more coffee, , hoping he could clear his mind a little bit, when he walked into the small break room Morgan was there getting a cup of coffee as well. The dark skin man had been avoiding talking to anyone on the team, and Dave knew it was because he was pissed off about finding out Hotch had been in a relationship with Emily and they had hide it from the team, and now Emily was in danger.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Dave asked pouring some coffee into his cup

"Talk about what?" Morgan barely acknowledged the Italian man.

'Whatever it is that you are upset about"

"I am fine"

"Is never easy, _you know?_. Having to dig through a friend's life" Dave said pouring creamer into his coffee "But that is not what is bugging you" the older man continued

"You are upset because they keep a relationship from us" he concluded sitting in front or Morgan.

"No _I am not_, I am angry because all this time Hotch knew why she was being targeted it, and he didn't bother to tell us anything"

"He couldn't without putting her more in danger, this isn't for anyone Derek"

"Hotch already knew he will go after Emily and he didn't do anything about it. _We could have stop him dammit_" Morgan said angrily

"I think Emily knew Scratch will go after her as soon as she made herself part of the code, that wasn't Hotch's choice it was hers"

"Yeah but Hotch could have prevented that, he should have talk to us Dave, you know how this works"

"How?" Dave questioned "The minute Emily called Vichada, she became Scratch target"

"Because she was important to Hotch that is the only reason. Scratch only targeted Emily because she means something to Hotch"

"So that is what is bugging you? That her and Hotch were in a relationship"

"They both lied to us Dave, they hid their dirty secret from from us"

"Tamara was it?" The Italian man asked scratching his stubble gently and looking at Morgan

"The woman from that case you started seeing a while back?"

"Come on Dave?" Morgan said shaking his head in disbelief "That is different"

"Is it?" the older man questioned "Then why you kept it from the team?"

"Because there was too much to risk for me, I could have been fired for seeing someone who was a victims relative, I could have jeopardized the entire investigation"

"And you think it was easy for Hotch being Emily's direct supervisor? You think there was no risk for them going against the fraternization rules? You think Hotch wasn't risking his job by being with her? Or the whole team for that matter"

"We have been family for ten years David, and he didn't think he could trust us with something like that, that is fucked up, we are supposed to trust each other"

"Why did you hide your record from us when you had that incident in Chicago? We were a family back then too weren't we?"

Morgan sighed and look away thinking of that one time he had been arrested in Chicago and he had protected his past and identity from the team, he knew back then it wasn't just about trust, it was about more than that. Hell he still couldn't explain why he had kept it to himself. But he knew for sure it had nothing to do with not trusting his team.

"Look Derek I get you are angry that Scratch took Emily, but blaming Hotch for that doesn't resolve anything. Hotch and Emily had been trough a lot, they deserve to be happy, as their friends and family the only thing we can do is support them and be there for them. They chose to be together and they had their own reasons to keep that from us" Dave explained gently, Morgan finally averted his eyes and look at him

"Emily needs us right now, and being angry at what was said to us or not is not help brining her home safe"

"I know that" Derek said closing his eyes and taking a deep breath "Let's go catch that bastard" he said standing up as Dave followed after him.

Derek found himself wrapped in a very warm hug, before he was fully inside the conference room. He smiled holding the technical analyst close and praying that they found Emily before it was to late.

"Hey baby girl" he said holing her longer than usual, he didn't need to look at her to know she was crying. "We will get her mama" he vowed kissing the analyst hair

"Penelope do you think he can track where he has been calling from?" Alina asked as she turned don another computer device.

"Uhmm yeah, I can try though, but if he was able to hack into your database it might be harder than we expected to" the analyst said sitting down and letting her fast fingers work around the computer keyboards.

"Lets recap on the information we already have" Clyde said sitting down and gathering the files the team had been working on.

"So far we know his mother was an addict that sold herself to support her habits, and she abandoned his father and him. The abandonment obviously impacted his childhood, he started taking his anger out on prostitutes because they reminded him of his mother..." Hotch started in a very professional tone, he knew very well they were running out of time and every little detail mattered.

"Agent Hotchner you said earlier you think he wants your son? Why?" Clyde asked looking at the picture Hotch had provided of Jayden.

"Scratch is under the impression Jayden might not be my son, to him he was conceived trough adultery..." Hotch ended feeling more uncomfortable, if there was really a possibility that Jayden wasn't his son that could only mean that he had let go of the woman he loved with all his heart to be with Beth and raise a child that wasn't even his. He could feel anger rising within him, he would never be able to forgive Beth. Not for sleeping with his brother or trapping him with a child that perhaps wasn't even his.

"So he wants Jayden to punish Beth and Sean?" JJ asked still slightly confused, something here didn't make sense.

"Hotch he wants to hurt you" The blonde profiler continued "If he wants Jayden, there is another else why he took Emily aside from her having the codes?"

"Because Emily is the only woman he is ever loved" Dave intervened "If he wants to truly hurt Hotch and he believes Jayden might not be his, the only other person in the world that means something to him other than Jack is Emily..."

Before anyone else was able to say anything else his cellphone started ringing. Aaron look at Garcia frantically as he pressed the answer button. Garcia's fast fingers moving around at light speed in an attempt to track where Scratch was calling from.

"_If you hurt her in any way!"_ was his way of answering the phone, he could feel his veins boil from anger, one thing he was sure about he will destroy Scratch with his bare hands

"Be gentle?" Scratch said in a mocking tone, making Hotch remember one of the most horrible moments of his life. Hotch closed his eyes, trying to control his anger and the rising emotions, he could not let the team see him struggling or crying.

"What do you want?" he asked as calmly as he could

"Oh Agent Hotchner you still haven't figure it out?" Scratch laughed on the phone "Who did ever say you were a good profiler?"

"Your mother left I get it, you have always resented her for that" Hotch started in a neutral tone watching as a panicked Alina and JJ started at him. Both women could clearly guess Hotch was provoking him and it wasn't a good idea giving that he still had Emily.

"My mother was a whore" Scratch said biting his words "She deserved everything she got"

"So why do all of this? Killing all those woman? What was that about?"

"They all deserve that, they needed to learn that love hurts, they hurt their loved ones by living a promiscuous life, they never showed any real love to their families. See Agent Hotchner love is a lot more than just four simple words, is about sacrifice...is about risking everything for the person you love"

"Is that what you think you are doing?" Hotch questioned as he had a silent conversation with the technical analyst. She was having a really difficult time tracking down his call, so Hotch needed to keep Scratch on the phone for a little longer. "That is a hell of a way to show love, by murdering and hurting innocent people..."

"And you are one to speak Agent Hotchner?" Scratch asked leaning forward to kiss Emily's forehead, she had been listening to the conversation, but she wasn't able to do anything since he had use drugs to paralyze her using tetrodotoxin, a toxin used to completely disable the body's ability to move muscles but it, left all the other neurological functions intact so you feel everything. Emily felt the tears as they rolled out of her eyes, she wasn't going to show fear to him, and more importantly she wasn't going to show agony so Hotch could hear her ding he will never forgive himself and she knew it.

"Why do you tell me about love?" Scratch questioned evilly "In fact why don't you tell Emily about love?"

Hotch stop on his tracks looking at the team in shock, that could only mean Emily was there and listening, that could only mean something. If Scratch was going to kill Emily on the phone in front of him just like Foyet had killed Haley he didn't think he will be able to survive something like that, not his sweet Emily.

"She has nothing to do with this..." he say carefully choosing his words, he had absolutely no idea what he was capable off.

"But she does" Scratch continued caressing Emily's face, as she looked at him with repulsion, she desperately wanted to scream at Hotch not to say anything, no to play his game, that she could handle it, but she found herself unable to move or utter a single word.

"She is the whole reason we are here to begin with" Scratch said in a much gentle tone "Why don't you tell Emily what was the real reason you didn't fight for her all these years?"

Hotch stood there on the middle of the conference room unable to say anything, what was this bastard's game and what was he trying to prove.

"I thought this was about Beth and my brother?" He asked hoping he could get his mind away from Emily.

"It is, in a way, but they are only part of this because of your stupid ego" Scratch continued talking and laughing at Hotch, making his skin crawl. "None of them would be part of this, if it wasn't because of you, not even that little bastard you think is your son"

Hotch feel the urge to destroy Scratch, whether Jayden was his or not, he had raise him for the past two years, he meant everything to him as well, the same way Jack did.

"Is not Jayde's fault that Emily and I weren't together" Hotch stated trying to guess where Scratch was going.

"No you are right, he is just another pawn on the game" He agreed "I am talking about your own selfish reasons to let this beautiful woman go..." Scratch's fingers wandered over Emily's cover breast making her want to vomit.

"See she is absolutely and utterly beautiful...the things I would do to her...hmmmm "

"I'll fucking kill you" Hotch barked unable to stop himself, he wanted to run non stop and find Emily wherever she was. He could hear Scratch laugh at the other end of the phone.

"Just tell me what you want?" Hotch pleaded at his wit end.

"I want you to confess, I want you to tell Emily the real reason you never fought for her...and you know what I mean by that..."

Hotch closed his eyes, he knew exactly what he was doing, he had exposed him once before already, when he used the hallucinogens on him making him show his worse fears and what hurt him the most. He wanted him to confess things he never had before to anyone, note even Dave, he sighed and turned towards the glass walls, the dark London looking back at him in such a beautiful and sad night.

"It had nothing to do with not loving her" he started, he knew after this he will have exposed all of his hear and feeling to everyone including one of the most dangerous criminals that ever existed.

"Go on" Scratch continued with a satisfied grin.

"The very first woman I ever loved was my mother, and she allowed my father to hurt me in ways no mother should ever let her kid's suffer..." his voice was short and cold, like it wasn't himself talking.

"Many years later I understood that he was much stronger than her, and she couldn't have help even if she wanted to, but I had already grown with the idea that the people that love you the most were also the ones with the ability to hurt you the most... I knew back then I will never allow my self to love ANYONE ever, not a single person who had the ability to hurt me again... I never gave my whole heart to Haley because of that, I never allow her close enough to me, I blame myself for our marriage failure and her death and I always will for the rest of my life...I never loved anyone so deep that it hurt, then Emily walked into my life and everything changed and I knew back then I had to push her out of my life...I could never allow her in my life completely...so I drove her away..." Hotch said his eyes sparkling with tears as he stared at the rainy night above the most beautiful city in the world. In the other side of the phone Emily laid on abed paralyzed and unable to move, yet her eyes were soaking with tears of pain and sorrow.

"_**Love is never supposed to hurt. Love is supposed to heal, to be your haven from misery, to make living fucking worthwhile."**_

― _**Mia Asher**_

_**A/N **_

_**I am so sorry for the super late update, been crazy busy and life has been hectic. Here is the update, please leave reviews, I wasn't sure I was gonna continue the story, just been under the weather lately. Love you all**_

_**Thanks for reading. **_


	13. Chapter 14

_**Loving You Forever is What I Need Chapter Thirteen **_

"_**It should be a privilege to be able to say "I love you" to someone. It shouldn't be something people say just because they feel like it. A privilege that is earned. They say you have to earn the right to be loved; no, love is unconditional, if you love someone, they don't have to earn it. But. The right to tell someone that you love them? That has to be earned. You have to earn the right to be believed."― C. JoyBell C**_

Hotch closed his eyes, he knew exactly what he was doing, he had exposed him _once before already,_ when he used the hallucinogens drugs on him making him fantasize about his worse fears, and what hurt him the most. He wanted him to confess things he never had before; to anyone, _NOT even Dave_, he sighed and turned towards the glass walls, the dark rainy London looking back at him in such a beautiful and sad night.

"It had nothing to do with not loving her" he started, he knew after this confession, he would have exposed all of his hear and feeling to everyone including one of the most dangerous criminals that ever existed.

"Go on" Scratch continued with a satisfied grin.

"The very first woman I ever loved was my mother, and she allowed my father to hurt me in ways no mother should ever let her kid's suffer..." his voice was short and cold, like it wasn't himself talking.

"Many years later I understood that he was much stronger than her, and she couldn't have help even if she wanted to, but I had already grown with the idea that the people that love you the most were also the ones with the ability to hurt you the most... I knew back then I will never allow my self to love _ANYONE ever_, not a single person who had the ability to hurt me again... I never gave my whole heart to Haley because of that, I never allow her close enough to me, I blame myself for our marriage failure and her death and I always will for the rest of my life...I never loved anyone so deep that it hurt, then Emily walked into my life and everything changed and I knew back then I had to push her out of my life...I could never allow her in my life completely...so I drove her away..." Hotch said his eyes sparkling with tears as he stared at the rainy night above the most beautiful city in the world. In the other side of the phone Emily laid on a bed paralyzed and unable to move, yet her eyes were soaking with tears of pain and sorrow.

Hotch could hear Scratch cold laugh at the other side of the phone, and it make his blood boil, he knew what he was doing. He wasn't only exposing him, he wanted to break Emily by showing her that he had not fight for her because of his own insecurities, because of his own selfish coward actions. That wasn't a good thing, the last thing Emily needed was to question his love for her.

"So you used love in the most horrible way?" Scratch began looking at Emily and touching her face again. "You never fought for her because of your selfish reasons? Your feelings meant so much more to you than her feelings did?

"That is not true" Hotch bit angrily; completely regretting everything he had just said.

He turned towards Garcia with a pleading look, he wasn't sure how much longer he could keep Scratch on the phone. Garcia's pleading eyes full of tears begged Hotch for more time, she was struggling with his location and that wasn't good thing. If Garcia couldn't track him, that mean, no one really could.

"But _it was_ Agent Hotchner" Scratch replied calmly "You choose your own feelings _over hers_, you would much rather break her heart, than having yours broken. To you she wasn't good enough to take the risk of getting hurt, of getting your heart broken"

"_Emily has and will always be the love of my life_, I will always love her, I will never love anyone the way I love her" she needed to hear that he loved her.

She needed to understand that Scratch was just trying to get in her mind and control her. She just needed to hear it from his own lips that he will always love her.

"Except yourself of course" His evil laugh made him want to rip his own skin "That's is why we are here in the first place!" Scratch continued enjoying the pleasure of torturing Hotch

"That is why your first wife was killed, because of your Goddam ego, and Emily is going to die because of your selfishness"

"You son of a bitch ! You fucking twisted Psychopath ! I will find you and I will kill you mark my words I will" Hotch shouted angrily unable to control himself

"Wrong answer Agent Hotchner! You just got Emily killed" they heard the noise of a gun shot and everything went silent, the only thing that echoed around the room was Garcia's scream and whimpers, then nothing else.

"Please don't tell me we just..." Morgan asked but Hotch barged out of the room with David followed after him.

"He has to messing with us, he couldn't have just..., it doesn't make any sense" JJ said in a barely audible voice, her blue eyes sparkling with tears

Dave followed after Hotch outside the Interpol building, his heart was beating uncontrollably, attempting to clam himself from picturing Emily death, he found himself unable to breath or think properly, when he turned around to face David his eyes were full of tears, and he could barely stand still, his knees were shaking and he could not breath.

"He..." yet he wasn't able to finish the sentence

"He didn't kill her Aaron" Dave said praying his instincts were right, it just didn't make sense

"David...I..." Aaron chocked on his own words as tears spilled from his eyes.

"She is fine Aaron, she has to be fine, killing her doesn't make sense, he needs her...he still doesn't know where your children are" Dave reasoned

"Dave if Emily already told him..."

"She didn't, she is never going to tell him anything, you know it and I know it, this is why he is doing all of this, he hasn't been able to break her or you...you have to be smarter than him...he wants you to think he kill her so we can reveal your children's location..."

"Emily is the only one that knows that" he replied terrified and still feeling dizzy, his legs shaking.

"_Which is why_ he wont kill her...I need your mind in this Aaron...for Emily...she is fine we have to be smarter than him"

Hotch knew very well that killing Emily made little to no sense, he also knew that Emily would never ever tell Scratch where his children were at, he knew that for a fact. But he was worried, he wasn't sure what Scratch was capable of doing to her, to make her talk, he wished he could trade places with her, he would die protecting her and his children any day of the week, but if he caused Emily's death, if he had to hold her death body just like he had held Haley's, he might just go ahead and shot himself, he knew he wouldn't not able to live with it.

"Please tell me Garcia was able to track anything down?" he pleaded

"Let's go back and find out" Dave said trying to remain calm as well.

They headed back inside the Interpol Building, praying Emily was still alive and that Garcia was able to track any information that could lead them to where he was keeping Emily, it was clear that they had run out of time, they needed to find her no matter what.

Emily opened her eyes again, she felt dizzy and confused but not as much as she had earlier, she tried to remember what was the the last thing she could recall. She tried to memorize as many details as possible in case she was able to run away or alert the team where Scratch was keeping her. She remembered the sound of gun shot and the faint remain of gunpowder on the air. She tried to focus again and she saw Scratch as he gently ran his finger over the bullet hole on the wall, where Scratch had shoot earlier.

She closed her eyes for a minute trying to control her breathing. _They think I am dead; they think he shot me_. She said to herself, she really needed to find a way out of there, she tried to move her legs slowly and she realized she was able to move around and control her own body, whatever he had given her must have be exhausting, she needed to find a way to escape. She tried to sit up but she failed as she was beginning to feel very nauseated and weak, she could hardly remember how long she had been there. Her stomach churched and she fought the urgency to throw up, Scratch finally turned around to face her.

"Oh, how rude of me" He said coming closer to her "You must need something drink, maybe even wash up?" He said as he offered Emily his hand, she looked at him skeptically, but she was definitely more lucid than before and she was beginning to feel stronger, the pain on her ribs had subside, yet she reached to touch where she remembered being injured.

"Don't worry about it now, Emily, you should be healing son...you are in enough pain meds to tolerate the pain" He assured, she still watched him warily, trying to memorize every single detail in case she was able to free herself.

"Are you thirsty or hungry?" he asked with a smile that made Emily uncomfortable.

"I need to you use the restroom" Emily said swallowing dryly, she definitely was thirsty but she wasn't going to drink anything he gave her.

"Well of course, here let me help you out?" He offered his hand for support but Emily refused to take it and grimaced as she leaned on her own arm to get herself up the bed.

"Let me show you the way" Scratch said as he opened the big metal door and headed out the dark messy hallway. Emily followed him carefully, taking small steps so she didn't fall, memorizing every corner of the room, they where at some sort for basement, or abandoned house.

It smelled like dust and mold, she tried to sharpen her ears, to see if she could hear any noise of cars from outside, or even a train, but all she could hear was Scratch footsteps as he walked over the dirty floor. He pointed to the corner where there was a small rusted bathroom, it was dirty and there was trash all over the floor, it made Emily even more nauseous, and she had to hold her breath to prevent herself from throwing up.

She stepped into the nasty bathroom closing the door behind her, she could hear Scratch pacing around outside of the bathroom; she carefully opened the water faucet letting the liquid run. Her eyes darted towards the small window oat the top of the wall, it was small enough so she could see an abandoned backyard, but not big enough for her to fit trough. The window obviously pointed towards the back of wherever he was keeping her at, she couldn't see any other houses, maybe if she tried really hard she could be able to get out of the window.

She quickly rinsed her face rubbing her eyes tiredly, Scratch was trying to get into her mind, he had already torture her for hours, she wasn't sure how much longer she would be able to resist, and now that the team believe she was death; she was starting to freak out, she knew Hotch would go find her no matter what, yet she was beginning to feel hopeless. She drank some of the cold water, bypassing the horrible taste of metal and dirt, and then she decided to come out of the bathroom, there wasn't any much she could do there and if she took any longer Scratch would come find out. She twisted the door knob and was surprised when she didn't see him waiting outside for her, her eyes darted around the dark hallway and they focused on set of stairs, there was light coming from the top floor, so she decided to go that way.

Her footstep cracked above the old wooden steps, as she made her way up, holding herself from the railing, she really was feeling dizzy, it was probably the fact the she hadn't eaten or drank anything for God only knew how long, and her body was pumping with adrenaline. She made it to the top of the stairs, only to find out she was in some sort abandoned house, maybe an old store _or so it seemed like_, there were broken boxes all over the place and some sort of sings, the moldy and dusty floor cracked as she kept walking slowly to where the light was coming from.

She came face to face with a small room, sort of like an office, but not quite, there was a big wooden bookcase filled with old books full of dirt, an old maroon leather couch laid in the corner, next to several sets of metal shelves with boxes sitting on them. Maybe it was some sort of store at some point. Emily focused on the wall, where old pictures of an elderly man and his family stood outside what Emily had guessed was a store on the past. In the other corner there was an old desk, Scratch was sitting there looking at something on an old computer screen, finally Emily was finally aware of the small screen projector sitting on the middle of the room.

"What is this place?" She asked looking around "Some sort of psychotic fetishism place from your childhood? Or did you kill someone here too?"

"Come on Emily" Scratch said looking at her "I am offended, I am really not a bad person, you will understand soon enough..." he said standing up from the chair he had been sitting, walking towards a small mini-fridge on the other side of the room. Emily had not paid attention to it when she first walked in. He reached over pulling out two water bottles, and he walked back towards the desk handing Emily one of the bottles.

"I don't want it" She said flinching away from him.

"Oh Jesus woman, you had been sick for days you need to hydrate" he said opening the cap and taking a big gulp to show Emily he had not put anything on it. He handed the bottle back to Emily and she took it, looking at him still hesitant, she had no idea what was his plan was but he seemed much calmer, maybe if she play along, she could find a way to escape, maybe if she showed him that she actually was buying whatever he was doing, she could find a way to escape.

"Why are you doing all of this?" She asked taking a sip of the water and sitting at leather couch right across from him.

"Because I need to show what people are really capable of doing" Scratch responded as he moved around the room trying to mess around with the screen projector in an attempt to make it work.

"So now what?" She asked watching around every single detail she could memorize and looking for any opportunity to escape

"You already know I am not going to tell what you want! Why not just kill me and get it over with?" She asked knowing fully well that he had not kill her for a reason and she needed to find out what that reason was.

"Oh Emily! Why do you keep assuming the worst of me?" He asked sounding offended "I never said I wanted to kill you, is not you who I want death"

"I will never let you go near those children Peter..." She vowed " No matter what you do to me! So kill me instead if you have to, but I won't tell you anything" she said almost regretting it instantly, but to her surprise he didn't reacted the way she had expected, her just smiled and continued messing around with the projector.

"Oh I already know that Emily, I realized I needed a plan B the minute I took you from your apartment"

Emily was getting more anxious and worried each passing second, this didn't make any sense why was he still keeping her alive if he knew he would never tell her where the children were at, and more importantly why was he trying to do then?

"Why do you want to hurt Hotch so badly?" she asked with no hopes that he would actually answer, she just wanted to keep him distracted as long as she could, maybe the team was already closer to finding her.

"Because Agent Hotchner needs to learn a thing or two about human behavior, and why people become criminals"

"He already knows why" Emily said puzzled "He has hunt down criminals more than half of his life"

"Yet he hasn't learned a single thing" Scratch said finally focusing on her and smiling

"See Emily we all have demons inside us, we all carry that monster inside, the one that makes us do horrible things, I have one, you have one and even Agent Hotchner has one" Emily just shake her head in disbelief

"So you are justifying what you did by saying we all have a dark past?" She questioned confused

"No! I am saying all of us hide a criminal inside, just some hide it that better than most people" he explained simply

"Come on Emily how many people you have you killed for the FBI?"

"That is different" she said appalled looking at him "I was doing a job, I had to make those choices to save someone else's life" she said although she wasn't sure why she felt the need to explain herself to him.

"That doesn't change the fact that you have murder people toO" he pointed out sitting right across from her

"Bad guy, good guy, FBI agent... is still killing someone"

"You are deranged" Emily scoffed "You killed people for your own damn selfish reasons, to make up for what? The pain your mother caused you?" She asked looking at him aghast

"And you are telling me that you did it just because some other people have killed too? How is that even justifiable?

"Is not" he wiggled his eyebrows "You are right! What I am trying to say; is every single one of us are capable of the most horrific things... even Agent Hotchner has done unspeakable things, he killed that poor guy with his own hands, not a weapon needed" Scratch shrugged his arms.

"Are you kidding me he murdered Foyet because he killed his wife and wanted to go after his child" Emily said angrily knowing that Scratch was referring to the way Hotch had murdered Foyet.

"_Well technically it was Hotch who killed her_, so that argument is dead on the air" he said drumming his fingers against his chin, his smile made Emily's blood boil.

"You have absolutely no idea why Haley died, it wasn't his fault some psychopath like you went after his family apart" she said angrily looking at him in anger

"Oh Emily" he said in a soft voice "I believe is you who has absolutely no idea why Haley died, Hotch not only caused her death but he also planned it as well"

"You are fucking twisted" Emily standing up from the couch, unable to hear what he was saying anymore

"I am not listening to you any longer, go ahead and kill me or whatever you have to do" She asked feeling the angry tears form around her eyes. He was messing with her mind again and she wasn't going to let him do that, not if she wanted to find a way to escape.

"I know it hurts, but is better you find out know who he really is" Scratch said walking back towards the screen projector and turning it on. At first Emily had absolutely no idea what he was trying to do, but then a video started playing over the old dirty wall.

It was another video just like the one he had sent them about Beth's affair with Hotch's brother, but this video was different. Hotch was sitting inside a very luxury office, in front of him was sitting no other but Director Kramer from the FBI, despite the old projector and low quality Emily could see very well. It looked like the video had been taken from the side, leaving both man in plain view, Emily knew very well there were thousands of cameras around the FBI, she had also heard of the rumors about certain offices being bugged by secret cameras.

"_Is_ _all up to you Agent Hotchner, is a clean cut..." Kramer said folding his hands in front of him at the top of his desk. Hotch seemed to be considering what the director was saying, given his lack of response._

"_You will be the hero, you will get your fancy Unit Chief position back, plus the money we offer you, not to mention all the recognition you would receive for taking down one of the most dangerous criminals Boston has ever seen"_

"_I don't want her to suffer" Hotch stammered_

Emily could only watch the video terrified and in shock, she could not have head right, this could not be happening.

"_It would be quick, she won't even suffer, with her gone; you will get your son's full custody back and you would be able to be with the woman you been madly in love with"_

Emily felt her mouth getting dry and her heart stopping, quickly making a mind recap, around that time her and Hotch had already started a relationship, this wasn't true, Hotch would never do something like that.

"_And Foyet is gone forever? " Hotch questioned _

"_They both would be six-feet under by the time the sun rises again" Kramer said with a smile Emily had never seen._

"_I need a day or two, my team is too involved...I have to do this carefully" He said in a firm tone_

A tone Emily had never heard, in fact the man in the video she wasn't sure she had ever meet, tears started spilling from her eyes against her will.

"This isn't true..." Emily said in a broken voice as tears slide down her eyes. "We were all there with him all the time, he tried to save her, he did everything he could, he even went by himself to his old house to try to stop him before it was too late..."

"No _he actually_ went by himself, to ensure no one else was able to save Haley" Scratch corrected giving her a sympathetic smile.

"That is not true...he didn't do this" Emily was now shaking, Scratch smirked again pulling a tape recorder from his pocket and pushing play.

"_Kramer" the director answered_

"_Where are you at?" The unmistakable voice of Hotch came on _

"_Outside your house, are you close?" Kramer said_

"_I am right around the corner" _

"_Okay he just go there so wait about five more minutes, the you can go get him, once we know she is death for sure " Kramer said _

"_After tonight both or your problems will be gone Aaron"_

"_I know" the unit chief responded disconnecting the call _

Emily wiped her eyes over her sleeves unable to stop the tears from coming and coming, this wasn't the man she knew, this wasn't the man she had fallen in love with. This could not be Hotch, not her Hotch.

"This isn't true..." she said in a shaky voice

"Unfortunately it is Emily, we all have that monster inside us...and I just proved you that" he repeated again

"The only difference is that I don't hide mine, Agent Hotchner hide his for most of his life..."

"No...no _this is not him_..." Emily stammered trying fighting the urge to run, there was nowhere for her to go.

"Did you ever wonder how his father died? He said cancer but the autopsy results showed a blunt hit to the head killed him" Scratch said pulling out a file and handing it Emily but she refused to take it

"I don't want to see it, I just... I need to get out" She said in desperation " I can't breath" she said as she felt her lungs close around her, and before she could do anything else she was throwing up on the floor,

"Is okay Emily" Scratch rubbed her back tenderly "You are okay"

"Where did you get all of these?" She asked wiping her mouth against the sleeve of her shirt; her eyes were blood red from throwing up and covered in tears, she was heaving, but she needed to know. She gracefully took the bottle of water Scratch offered her to take away the horrible taste of her mouth.

"I was able to hack into the NSA and CIA database Emily" he laughed ironically "Do you think this was hard for me?"

Emily sank into the couch unable to see clearly anymore, she was tired, she was in pain and dizzy, yet her mind was traveling a thousand miles per minute. She couldn't understand what was going on, tears were flowing out of her eyes and everything was filled with confusing and sorrow, it was like all of the sudden she had entered an alternate universe, were everything was in slow motion moving around her. Scratch sat next to her taking her hand in his and caressing her knuckles, she didn't even flinch at his touch, she felt lost in her own pain. She wasn't sure how long she sat there next to Scratch as he attempted to calm her down.

It wasn't until they heard a loud thud that she snapped out of her shock and haze, someone else was in the house, the team was there she could hear them, they had found her. Emily's eyes darted around where the noise was coming from. Scratch squeezed her hand one more time handing Emily a gun, it wasn't hers, but her fingers grasped around the cold metal comfortably.

"He is upstairs" She heard someone call from another room., and then all of the sudden Scratch stood up behind Emily holding her against him and using her as a shield, he too was carrying a gun and pointed it towards the door.

Before Emily could do anything else Hotch, Clyde and JJ entered the small office room, all of them pointing their gun at Scratch but he was using Emily as a shield and they had no way of taking him down.

"Peter Lewis you are under arrest" Clyde began "Let her go, everything is over, just drop the gun and let her go"

"Is over"

"But is not over yet Agent Easter" Scratch responded with an evil laugh

"This is were all the fun begins" he continued holding Emily closer

"Isn't it Emily?" He questioned with satisfaction looking at her in adoration.

Emily's gun was pointing directly at the team determination in her eyes. Hotch's panicked eyes searching for an answer, he could not understand why was Emily pointing at them with a gun.

"She is drugged" Clyde said, his eyes averted towards Hotch and JJ.

"Emily listen to my voice my please..." JJ pleaded in an attempt to make Emily look at her.

They should have expected that, Scratch had drugged all of his victims with a hallucinogen drug, making them kill their loved ones. That was what he wanted from the beginning that was the missing part of the puzzle, Scratch had taken Emily because he wanted to turn her against them.

"What did you give her?' Hotch's hard eyes make eye contact with Scratch

"Oh I did not give her anything Agent Hotchner all I did was show her who you really are? And all the horrible things you have done?"

"Emily look at me please" Hotch pleaded, her dark beautiful eyes focused on him, but they were darker than ever and cold, there was something in them he didn't recognize

"Put the gun down Emily, the drug effects should subside soon, just listen to my voice" he pleaded as he took a step closer towards them.

"Hotch..." Morgan said from outside of the door knowing fully well it wasn't a good idea to get that close to them, they had not even realized the rest of the team was behind them and all of their guns pointing at Scratch, unfortunately no one had a clear shot without putting Emily's life at risk.

Hotch ignored Morgan's attempt to stop him and he continued taking another step closer to them.

"Just follow my voice Emily" He said quietly placing his gun on the floor and looking at her indicating that he will not hurt her, that she was safe.

"Sweetheart" he said softly

"Don't!" She exclaimed angrily

"Don't come any closer, I will shot your balls off you fucking bastard"

Emily threatened, JJ and Clyde exchanged worried glances, she was definitely drugged and it was something strong,

"Emily listen to me! Whatever he gave you or whatever he said is not real is a lie, remember what he did to all his victims" 

"They are not fucking lies your fucking asshole" she screamed "I saw the videos; I saw all of it"

"I don't know what you mean honey" Hotch said carefully, he wasn't sure what Scratch had given her, but he trusted her enough to know she would never shoot him.

"You killed Haley" she said in a firm voice tears forming in her eyes again "I saw the video, your conversation with Kramer, you set it all up"

"What conversation?" Clyde asked puzzled

"The FBI paid him to kill Haley and Foyet, they set it all up"

"Emily that is not true! You and I where there you saw what happened" JJ said attempting to get attention.

Whichever drug he had given her was obviously strong enough for her to not differentiate fantasy from reality.

"Emily listen to my voice Hotch didn't kill Haley, it was Foyet"

"He didn't go in to save her until he knew Haley was death already" Emily said tears rolling down her eyes "I hear all of it, all his conversations with Kramer"

"Why would he do that Haley was his wife, Emily please look at me?" JJ begged they needed to snapped her out the shock she was on.

"No! It all makes sense now, he was fighting with Haley all the time, she was taking Jack's custody away from him, and was planning to move to a different state, he had already lost the custody, the only way to get it back was killing Haley, and then Foyet, and then everyone would keep praising him as the hero... the heroic Aaron Hotchner..."

"Emily..." Hotch begged

"Did you kill your father too?" she asked watching his expression and micro-expressions

"Emily sweetheart put the gun down" he begged desperately

"No" she bit "Not until you tell them the true" she barked as angry tears rolled down her eyes.

"Emily..."

"Tell them!" she yelled releasing the gun safety lock "Tell them the fucking true"

"Okay, alright...it did made a deal with Kramer, but it wasn't to kill Haley, we just wanted Foyet gone, Haley's death was an accident she should have not died, she was only supposed to be hurt enough that she wasn't able to care for Jack for a while and I was able to get his custody over hers..."

All set of ears that were listening were in shock, unable to believe what they were hearing. They were looking at the Unit Chief as well, this wasn't happening, they must have inhaled some sort of drug while they entered the house.

"There was something in the house" Clyde stated "He is drugged too...something isn't right "

"Emily listen!" Hotch said "Is not what you think, please listen I need to tell you what really happened ..." he took another step trying get as close as he could from her maybe he could take the gun away from her hands.

"Don't come any closer, you take one more step and I swear to God I will shot you" she threatened

"Your father's death wasn't an accident was it?" she questioned angrily, but his lack of response gave her all the answers she needed

"Emily please listen to me!" Hotch begged

"None these is real, he is making you see things" Hotch explained cautiously "Baby please trust me" his face was blurry all of the sudden and she blinked a couple times.

"Emily..." Hotch said taking the last step closer to her

"I am sorry okay, ? I never wanted you to find out about these...I am really so sorry..."

And then everything happened in slow motion, Hotch attempted to get closer to her a but before he could finish taking the last step Emily's weapon fired hitting Hotch straight in the forehead.

"Emily no!" JJ's terrified blood curling scream rang in her ears and then she felt Clyde saying "NOOO" and taking the gun from her hands.

The last thing Emily watched was his lifeless body hitting the ground and the trail of blood running from his forehead.

"_**People who claim that they're evil are usually no worse than the rest of us... It's people who claim that they're good, or any way better than the rest of us, that you have to be wary of."― Gregory Maguire**_


	14. Chapter 15

_**Loving You Forever is What I Need Chapter Fourteen**_

"_**If the reality of our life has become an unsettling arabesque puzzle and we still want to add more filigree embroidery to it, we might, some day, expect to stray from the point of recognition, lose the final thread, be expelled to the edge of delusion and forced to dance on the brim of chaos. ― Erik Pevernagie**_

"There was something in the house" Clyde stated "He is drugged too...something isn't right "

"Emily listen!" Hotch said "Is not what you think, please listen I need to tell you what really happened ..." he took another step trying get as close as he could from her maybe he could take the gun away from her hands.

"Don't come any closer, you take one more step and I swear to God I will shot you" she threatened

"Your father's death wasn't an accident was it?" she questioned angrily, but his lack of response gave her all the answers she needed

"Emily please listen to me!" Hotch begged

"None these is real, he is making you see things" Hotch explained cautiously "Baby please trust me" his face was blurry all of the sudden and she blinked a couple times.

"Emily..." Hotch said taking the last step closer to her

"I am sorry okay, ? I never wanted you to find out about these...I am really so sorry..."

And then everything happened in slow motion, Hotch attempted to get closer to her a but before he could finish taking the last step Emily's weapon fired hitting Hotch straight in the forehead.

"Emily no!" JJ's terrified blood curling scream rang in her ears and then she felt Clyde saying "NOOO" and taking the gun from her hands.

The last thing Emily watched was his lifeless body hitting the ground and the trail of blood running from his forehead.

Emily's hands began shaking, her puzzled gaze and confused mind tried to make sense of what was going on. Clyde was in front of her saying something but she couldn't hear anything, or even comprehend what was happening, hear ears where ringing and her face was covered in tears yet she had no idea what was going on. Her eyes darted around the room, Morgan, JJ and Dave were crushed down the floor over someone's death body.

Then she heard the cold laugh of Scratch piercing her ears, she turned towards him, he was smiling at her, there was something in his eyes Emily couldn't decipher.

"He deserved to die Emily" he simply said looking at the team as they rapidly moved around the room, her confused gaze followed his eyes. Morgan stood up calling someone on his phone, and she was finally able to see the person on the floor. Her whole body began shaking for a different reason, she felt her knees almost give up on her.

Hotch laid there a trail o blood running from his forehead, he was dead, and his empty eyes were beginning to turn a shade a gray.

"Oh my god" Emily said covering her mouth, while Clyde was still trying to say something, but she simply couldn't hear what he was saying. She then focused on the weapon Clyde had just taken from her hands.

"You killed him" Said JJ looking at her with hatred, her eyes full of tears as the blonde held Hotch's death body.

Emily's confused mind could barely register what the blond said "What? No, no, I..." she took a few steps back, she wanted to run but she couldn't, her foot were to heavy all of the sudden.

"He killed Haley, he was a monster, you did the right thing Emily" Scratch's voice resonated on her head again.

"No...no he.." she was struggling to form the words, she dropped to her knees, as she watched the man she had always love laying there dead, with a gunshot to the head.

"Is okay Emily, you had to kill him, he planned Haley's death remember? Him and Kramer set it all up, he was a monster just like the rest of us" Scratch said crushing down next to her.

Emily looked at him confused listening what he had just said, blinking a couple of times, tears clouded her vision and she felt lost.

"He killed Haley" she repeated Scratch's words

"He set it all up, Kramer helped him..." but her mind slowly began to process what she had just said

_Director Kramer helped him kill Haley, they set it all up _

_Wait, that didn't make any sense_, Kramer had always hated Hotch, he wanted him gone from the FBI from the minute he was promoted. Anyone that knew Hotch well enough, knew sooner or later he will end up as the director of the FBI, he was a natural, that was the reason Strauss hated him so much and had tried to use Emily to fire him,

"No, that's not right Kramer didn't...why will he help Hotch..." she babbled then her eyes focused on Hotch's death body again

"How could you kill him?" David told her with hatred screaming at her "You are a murderer!"

"Oh my god Aaron!" she sobbed running towards his body and picking his cold face in her hands, she finally had registered what she had done, she had shot Hotch.

"No, no, no, Aaron...no please, I am so sorry please" she sobbed looking at his death body, her hands covered in his blood.

"He deserved to die Emily" 

"No, he..." Emily said confused again, the images in front of her becoming more and more blurry, she blinked a few more times. What was going on? Why couldn't see things clear?

When she opened her eyes she was alone in the little office with Scratch, she was still sitting down at the couch holding the bottle of water. But she felt very odd and dizzy, sort of like she was drunk.

"What is going on? What happened. I just..." She rubbed her eyes in an attempt to clear her mind; her eyes scanning around the room searching for answers. Where did everyone go? Where was Hotch and the team? Hotch? _She just killed Hotch_

"Everything is fine Emily, don't worry, everything will be just fine soon enough" Scratch repeated coming close to her.

_She looked at the bottle of water, had he put something on it? Was she imagining everything that just happened? Hotch was death she had shot him, because Scratch told her to, she was feeling more and more confused and dizzy, what had he given her. Everything was spinning again and images moved around her rapidly._

Not to far from there, two SUV's were speeding trough the dark busy streets of London, Garcia had obtained a possible area where Scratch was keeping Emily. They didn't have an exact location but they had narrowed down to a minimum small radius, his signal keep bouncing between three main towers. Alina knew the area little bit, there was only a very few buildings around the land, so they headed there, hoping they could find Emily, they had run out of time.

Clyde was driving one of the black SUV'S leading the other vehicle, Morgan rode next to him with Dave on the back of the car. Alina drove the second truck Hotch sat next to her, and JJ rode on the back, Reid had stayed behind at the Interpol Building as much as he wanted to go rescue Emily someone needed to stay with Garcia helping her track down the location. Liam had been trying to get information along with Black Sparrow on the agents involved in the code, that had been killed.

"Garcia you are on speaker" said Hotch as he watched the European woman drive as fast as she could behind Clyde and the rest of the team.

"We are entering Aleysbury right now Penelope" Alina said switching lanes and looking at the rearview mirror, she had been trying to remain calm, but she knew very well everyone was about to lose it.

"Allright, okay...humm If you go down south; after you pass the bridge, you going to come to a farming area..." Garcia said looking at the map on her screen and typing frantically switching from one screen to the other.

"Clyde you copy that?" Alina asked focusing on the dark road.

"Yup, I listening, I am bloody turning now " The British man said cockily

"Is a bit of a large area though" Garcia "Whatever server he is diverting the signal in different directions, but it has to be coming from that area... " Her expert eyes working on the multiple screens

"There was several farms, a small town, but it shut down a few decades ago..." Reid's voice came on the phone as well; he was looking at the map on his hands and then focusing on the screen again.

"Hey Alina I think it might be ..." Reid was going to start rumbling but the blonde responded before he was able to finish the sentence

"Weedon?" she responded sharply "It used to be a commercial area back in the 40's, lost of farming and trading, but it basically disappeared after Word War II and the Soviet invasion of Poland..." She said sharply taking the genius by surprise, Hotch almost wanted to smile, it wasn't very often someone left Reid speechless or proved to be smarter than him.

"Yeah...she is right" Spencer said annoyed that she had taken the words from his mouth, Penelope smile but it was short they still have more serious things to worry about.

"Then the Battle of Netherlands basically wiped off most of the Dutch towns from the map, Clyde you are coming near what used to be plain Dutch territory"

Clyde smirked as he drove shaking his head, the beautiful European woman definitely got on his nerves most of the time, but he knew very well she was one of the most efficient and intelligent agents he had ever work with, it was probably why she was friend's with Emily to begin with.

"You my lovely are a genius" Garcia smiled she worked on her screen, Spencer look clearly offended, it usually was him the one being praised for his intellectual ability.

"The signal is right in the middle of Weedon, there are only a few standing buildings, looks like a few farms, the main library and maybe what used to be a courthouse..."

"Any bars or night clubs Penelope?" Alina asked, Hotch turned to look at her confused

"He was targeting prostitutes" She shrugged "There was an era before the war began, that Europe was big on prostitution, there used to be several brothels most of them were actually under-covered... to appear like stores."

"Alina you scare me..." Garcia said in shock as looking at her screen, amused that there was actually someone smarter than Reid.

"There was a lounge...mostly for gentleman, they went there for drinks and smoke cigars, it was set back in the 40's right before the war..." Garcia's watched on her screen amazed

"Good job braniac" Clyde's voice came into the speaker "I see the town now; I am turning right"

"What is the address Garcia?" Hotch said as he gave a meaningful look to Alina, she just winked at him, there was no need to thank her, Emily was her friend too and she wanted to find her as much as he did.

"I am sending it to your phones right now" Penelope typed as fast as she could.

"Please bring her home" she said all of the sudden with a broken voice

"We will Penelope" Alina said determination in her voice, and then the phone went dead. She followed Clyde onto the deserted land, as they pass several abandoned farms, it was pretty dark outside and it was beginning to drizzly. Both cars came to a stop right in front of a several small buildings, from what probably used to a few stores. The building was definitely old and falling apart, but there was definitely light coming from inside, that had to be it.

Emily took a few more sips of the bottle of water she was holding, her vision was still quite blurry and she had no idea where she was or what was going on anymore. She tried to stand up up but she only felt dizzier so she sank into the floor, bringing her knees to her chest and rubbing her eyes, he had to give her something, there was probably something on the water he gave her, she dropped the bottle and took a deep breath. All of the sudden Scratch knelt down in front of her, reaching for her hands.

"Is okay Emily, everything is fine..." he said in a soft voice "You have to do it...he will come through that door and you have to kill him..." he ordered, Emily's eye meet him slowly unable to understand what he was asking her.

"He kill Haley, he is a monster, you have to kill him..."

"I have to kill him..." she heard herself repeating in a stammering voice, she remembered now.

"That is right, you have to do it" Scratch said placing the gun on her hands, Emily took it and held the gun, but she couldn't quiet comprehend why she was holding a gun.

"He kill me Emily, you have to kill him for me" Haley said all of the sudden sitting in front of her.

_Why was Haley there, what was going on, she just didn't understand, something wasn't right, even on her drugged state she could see something didn't make sense, was she dreaming? Or was she death, she had lost her ability to differentiate reality, all she could hear was Scratch telling her repeatedly to kill Hotch and the Haley's desperate cries. _

"Please Emily, he murdered me, you have to do it...Aaron Hotchner needs to die" Haley said, Emily's blurry eyes focused on her again and then on Scratch who was smiling.

"He is coming now...you have to kill him." he said, and she could heard the loud bang, the the footsteps approaching them

"Go ahead Emily shot him" he commanded

"Okay...I have to kill him" she responded holding the gun up and aiming towards the door.

Emily released to gun safety lock and slide her finger on the trigger aiming towards the door, it swung open all of the sudden and Hotch, and Rossi barged in followed by Alina and Clyde.

"FBI DROP THE GUN" She heard someone shout

Everything happen too fast after that, Emily fired the gun but quickly threw herself against the floor changing her aim and firing directly at Scratch, the bullet hit his arm, as he jumped out of the way running towards the back door. Two more bullets were fired, one hitting him on the back of the head and one straight on the back, Scratch felt on the ground dead. Emily dropped the gun sobbing just as Hotch ran towards, putting his weapon back into the holster her wrapping her in his arms. David and Clyde ran towards Scratch dead body.

"Emily are you okay? Did he he hurt you? " Hotch said his own eyes swimming with tears as he held her close.

"He... h.. made me do things..." she stammered sobbing uncontrollably "He made me kill you Aaron...he...oh god I am so sorry..."

"Hey...hey is okay sweetheart everything is fine...is over baby..." Tears were flowing through his eyes but he didn't care, how close had he come to losing her

"He made me see things Aaron..." Emily clung into him, hoping that she wasn't seeing things, that he was really there and not dead.

"I know baby, he is gone, he is dead" he vowed watching as the Metropolitan Police started walking inside the room and taking pictures of their scene. Rossi and Clyde had gone around the property to search for anything else that could help them finalize the case.

"Hotch the ambulance is here" JJ said her own blue eyes sparkling with tears as she watched her boss holding her best friend, who had not stop sobbing in his arms.

"Okay" he said picking Emily up in his arms and carrying her outside were the paramedics were getting the gurney ready, rain was still falling drizzling over them.

JJ followed Hotch towards the ambulance, they were already surrounded by police officers and crime investigators.

It was over, Emily was safe, _relatively safe_, they had finally kill Scratch, they had ended the nightmare that had chase down their family for many years.

"We need to take her to the hospital, she was drugged, and I am sure how badly she was injured..." he told the young paramedic as he sat Emily down in the gurney, the EMT placed a blanket around Emily's shoulders and began doing basic vitals check on her.

"Okay sir we will do everything we can for her"

"Emily I need to go inside and check..." he told her letting go of her for a second

"Noooooo! No, no please don't leave..." she begged clinging into him again.

"Please Aaron, I need to know you are not dead...Just please stay. I don't know what is real anymore..." she begged as more tears rolled down her eyes, it broke his heart seeing her that hurt and vulnerable.

"I'll go Aaron just stay with her" JJ commanded her own eyes beginning to spill, she had only called him by his given name a handful of times. The message was clear Emily needed him more than ever, she will go inside and deal with Metro PD.

"Thanks JJ" He said holding Emily close to him again, his own eyes spilling.

"I am so sorry Emily, I never wanted you to have to go trough something like this..." he said holding her face, her mind was begging to clear, she knew she was safe now, yet she knew she would never be able to forget what Scratch have mad her do.

"He made me kill you...I shot you... Aaron " her voice was broken and her eyes were dark and empty, more tears spilled out against her will.

"Emily look at me please..." he commanded softly holding her face in his hands. Her dark eyes focused on him, her pupils were dilated but she was looking at him.

"You didn't kill me...I am right here with you baby...he is dead...he can't hurt you anymore..."

She blinked a few more times and then she hugged him crying again, it was over finally, Scratch was death, she still had no idea what happened inside that place, the things she had seen and done, all she could do was focus on the man holding her, she had held his death body, she had even smell his blood on her hands, she was shaking and she had no idea how to snap out of the shock she was on. She prayed to God this wasn't a dream and she has hallucinating again, otherwise she knew she would lose her mind.

"We need to get her to the hospital now and give her a tranquilizer..." he ordered to the paramedic who had been checking Emily's vitals. Hotch knew better than anyone what Scrath was capable of doing to people, he had done it to Hotch himself

"Of course sir" they said as they loaded her into the ambulance, Hotch only let her go for a second so they could settle her inside the ambulance.

Alina came running towards them, just as Hotch turned to watch two officer carry the the cover body, it was over, he was gone, he could get his children back.

"Is she okay?" She asked looking towards the ambulance were medics were working on her

"She still in shock and probably still under the influence of the drugs..." Hotch responded as his eyes followed the coroner officers

"Alina he is?"

"He is death Hotch, a gunshot to the head...you killed him...he is gone forever..."

It didn't make Hotch feel any better, throughout his career he had delivered many kill shots, it didn't made him feel ay better, they were criminals, yet it always changed his life in a way.

"Go with her..." Alina snapped him out of his thoughts "We will meet you guys at the hospital..."

"Thank you Alina...for everything..." he said meaningfully

"Don't even! Go she needs you"

Hotch stepped right inside the ambulance sitting right next to her, the paramedics had already place an IV on her and given her a tranquilizer. He squeezed her hand and kissed her forehead, for the past 15 hours since she had gone missing all he had been doing, was trying to avoid her death body, he could only thank God for keeping her safe.

"Aaron..." Her dark eyes blinked focusing on him , here mind was definitely more lucid, yet the memories of what she had done were chasing her like a ghost.

"He made me kill you...he made me..." she cried he held her close kissing her lips and then her forehead.

"I know sweetheart, you are safe now, we are going to the hospital..."

Emily just squeezed her eyes as more tears fall down, he sat there holding he and comforting her, she was safe and Scratch was dead, Emily was fine. But he knew the nightmare wasn't close to being over yet, he knew what Scratch had done her, he had done it to Hotch himself, he still remembered how much it affected him, the psychological damage that he caused him, and it had been hell for him. He knew this will damage Emily for the rest of her life, he knew this will change her completely.

"_**Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you." Friedrich Nietzsche**_


	15. Chapter 16

_**Loving You Forever is What I Need Chapter Fifteen**_

"_**It's long past time now that we find a way to gather again. Our beliefs may be different. Some may not believe at all. But we have the same questions, the same needs, the same desire for good to prevail. And it's time to focus again on what brings us together instead of what could tear us apart." ― James Markert**_

_**A/N: Hi guys how are you all doing?**_

_**First of all, let me apologize for taking so long to update this story, I am back at school taking 5 classes and is been super busy. I haven't forgotten about your or the story so please be patient. Also you know this story and the knew one I just started are both dedicated to my lovely friend Southunlday, so I am not making her edit so she can enjoy the story. We are still working together and we are planning on updating "The Face of Love" soon. Just be patient. Many of you have send me messages regarding "Framed" and "Prentiss Girls" Karla and Francesca I got your emails I just been super busy. I already have several people asked me to send all the chapters from both stories to post again. The problem isn't not having the chapters; the problem is that the story disappeared from my page. With that being said to Fanfiction it shows active God know where. I already messaged them sooo many times. I already tried re-posting the story and it will not let me, because of copyrights and plagiarism. I know is silly the story is mine but is showing active and it seems as if I am trying to duplicate a story already posted. I don't know I am making sense? One thing I was told I could do is delete my pen name and start a new one, which I honestly really don't want to do. I have this account active for over four years now, I will lose all my followers, subscribers, and likes and all that. And is not that, that is the only thing that matters to me, is more about how long it took me to build my profile and gain your trust. I can try starting a new account and maybe posting the chapters there but I really don't want to delete this account, so let me reach out to them again and I will get back to you on that. Finally I will soon start a new thing were maybe every month or so( depending on school work) I will pick one of you, based on reviews and follows, and I will write a one shot story, with a plot request from you. I cannot commit to anything more than one shot, just because I am crazy busy as it is, but one shot I can do, and if you get selected I will message you and asked either what is one shot you want me to write for you, or what is something you will like to read. I will post out more details later, for now thanks for reading my stories and please don't forget to review! Love you all! Enjoy!**_

Aaron Hotchner paced around the waiting room at the London Bridge Hospital, they had taken Emily in for observation. The EMT's told Hotch that she didn't seem to have any substantial injuries, after being kidnaped and held captive by Peter Lewis aka Mr. Scratch. However, she did have some visible bruises, she was dehydrated and she had been heavily sedated, they wanted to give her some fluids and perhaps keep her in for the night in case they could find anything else; but other the psychological damage, they didn't see a reason why she would not make a full recovery. However, Hotch couldn't stop worrying about her and blaming himself for what had happened to Emily, after all, it was all his fault that she was there to begin with. Ever since he had arrived to London, no matter how hard he tried to not think about, the image of himself holding Emily's death body had been taunting him. If something had happened to Emily tonight it would have been his fault and he knew he would have never forgiven himself.

"Hotch" JJ said walking though the busy hospital hallways with Clyde Easter, they had followed the ambulance that took Emily, Hotch had been the only one allowed to ride with her.

"Is she okay?" the blonde asked with a knot on her throat, she hadn't been able to see Emily or even talk to her since they had rescued her.

"They just took her in" Hotch said absently looking at the doors they had taken Emily trough

"They said she is dehydrated and in extreme emotional stress..." he continued acknowledging Clyde who was looking at him sternly.

"Where is everyone else?" Hotch turned to JJ, not really in the mood to start another altercation with Brit.

"Dave and Morgan are back at the warehouse, to give a statement to the police, Alina is heading back to the police station...we all have to give a stamen at some point" The blonde responded looking at Clyde.

"I will Speak with Agent Cruz, we do have to notify the American Government what happened and about Peter Lewis death..."

"I understand; we all knew what we getting into" Hotch responded not about to let formalities get in the way of his emotions, JJ's cellphone started ringing and the blonde walk away from them to take the call.

"Agent Hotchner I will cover as much as I can for you, even if it means my job, once you are back in US soil there isn't much I can do for you..." Clyde said looking at him, they both knew what he meant. Hotch had killed Scratch, of course none of them were grieving his death, Hotch had done society a favor by killing the bastard. He was a criminal who deserved everything he got.

The problem was, Hotch was an American Federal Agent, who had shot and killed an American criminal in a foreign country, without mentioning the fact that he had been ordered by the State Department to stay away from the case, not withstanding the part where Hotch really didn't have jurisdiction as a federal agent in London and not particularly to fire a weapon. Hotch knew perfectly well Federal Agents needed clearance to carry a weapon in London, and it was a long process, that was just to carry, Hotch had actually fired his weapon and killed Scratch with it, he wasn't worried, he had done whatever he had to to save Emily. He knew he will be able to justify his actions and clear his name, but it will definitely bring some issues for him, the BAU and even for Interpol.

"I did what I had to do..."

"I understand that, no one knows better than me that Peter Lewis deserved to die, I will have shot him myself, you saved Emily's life, and that is all that matters to me, as far as I am concerned you saved the Head of the Interpol Office with your actions, and I will swear that in any court of law..."

"Thank you" he said simply, Clyde and him will never like each other, they both cared for Emily deeply.

Hotch will never know if Clyde's interest on Emily were really those of a friend or if he felt something else for the brunette, but, he knew they will never be able to move past those rivality feelings. Right now the message was clear, they both had done anything they could to save Emily and that was all that mattered.

"You still need to make your statement to Metro PD, and it might take a few days before you are allowed to fly out of the country" Clyde said smoothly "Giving the circumstances...but I will speak to the Major to make the transition much more easier..." Hotch just nodded

"Did they say how long they are keeping her?" Clyde changed the subject looking at the door again

"Possibly overnight, they want to make sure everything is okay..."

"I need make some calls and go back to the office and I will come back to see her; if you need anything..."

"Thanks Easter" Hotch shook his hand and watched him walk away.

"Hey I just talk to Alina" JJ came walking back towards him "Beth and the kids are okay, they will take them back to your house, as soon as we can talk to them, they will notify us"

"Thank you so much JJ for everything" Hotch nodded looking at the blonde woman he had worked with for over a decade.

They were interrupted by loud voices coming from the other side of the doors and they both glanced at each other. "_Ma'am please lay down" _they heard "_You need to get out of my way"_ the aggravated voice of Emily Prentiss couldn't be more clear. Hotch and JJ rushed towards the doors, without caring if they were allowed in there or not. When they walked inside the room they found two nurses and a doctor attempting to make Emily lay back down on the bed, she had already ripped off the IV from her arm, and was now working on disconnecting herself from the blood pressure monitor she had been hooked to.

"Ma'am please! You are under extreme emotional stress, you need to lay down and let us take care of you" the doctor insisted 

"I don't need to lay down, I am fine, I need my discharge papers please" 

Hotch moved past the nurses without even asking for permission, the doctor who seem to be on his late fifties turned to look at him question written all over his face.

"Agent Hotchner FBI" he flashed his badge "Please allow me to handle this"

"Sir she is not ready to go home; I think she needs to be evaluated by our psychiatric department" he stated calmly

"I am no crazy okay?" she almost shouted "What you need to do is mind your own business"

"Enough Emily" Hotch said firmly, he wasn't her boss any longer but he knew exactly what his tone did to her, what it always had done "Lay down" he said harshly

"Hotch" she turned to him with pleading eyes

"I will take it from him doctor" he told the older gentleman who only watched him with apprehension, but after a few seconds he nodded, him and both nurses proceeded to leave them room, letting Hotch handle the situation.

"I need to be in a hospital bed Aaron" she attempted to argue again before the doctors were fully out of the room

"Stop please" he commanded "You can either lay back down and let them look after you or I can have them sedate you and do whatever they need to do, either way you are not going anywhere until you are fully evaluated by them"

"Come on Aaron"

"Emily please let them look at you" JJ finally stated looking at her friend with concern

" I am fine JJ " she argued

"You are not fine, and you are staying at the hospital, that's the end of it" Hotch stated harshly, making Emily glare at him, it had been a while since he had used that tone with her, she knew very well when it was pointless to argue with him. Huffing annoyingly, she settled back down against the pillows, looking away from him.

"I need to make a statement Aaron, and I need to speak to the Major, you can't just confine me to a bed"

"Clyde is taking care of everything just try to relax please" he softened his tone looking at her, her eyes were red and she look like she had been literally beaten, JJ came closer and reached for her hand, her eyes sparkling with tears.

"I should have never let you go home alone" 

"Don't JJ" She said looking at her friend "This isn't your fault guys, okay I am fine, I really am, I am telling you, we are wasting time by keeping me here"

"Let the doctor decided that all right " JJ said kindly "Trust me there is nothing you have to worry about Clyde and Alina are taking care of everything" 

"Have you made a statement yet?" She asked closing her eyes and trying to relax her breathing, between the two of them they were not going to let her go anywhere.

"No, I am sure they will send Metro PD here once they are done at the warehouse"

"Okay, JJ I need to talk to Alina...can you please call her?" she turned to her friend.

"Of course" JJ pulled out herself and started calling the European woman, just in that second the two nurse walked back inside to place Emily's IV back on, JJ decided to give them some privacy so she momentarily stepped out of the room. Emily remained quiet while the nurses worked on her, but as soon as they walked out of the room she turned to Hotch.

"_I authorized you to use your weapon here, it was my call, I ordered to shot him"_ she stated simply. Hotch turned to look at her in shock, unable to hear what she was saying.

"You can't just lie to them Emily"

"Look! You can say what you want them, but that will be what I will putting on my statement, so you can either agree with me or testify against me, either way that is my statement" 

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked softly coming closer and grasping her hand.

"There is nothing to talk about"

"Emily"

"Dammit Hotch just stop it! I am fine" she shouted

"I am not going to do this Emily" he said darkly "I know what he did, and what that does to your mind, I understand better than anyone" he told her "Please just talk to me"

"I don't want to talk about it please" she finally begged

"I am not going to lie Emily" he said firmly

"Goddammit Aaron" She sat up staring at him "You have absolutely no idea, how things work here, there are so many legal procedures we have to follows, politics, bureaucratic bushtit, you could end up in real trouble or lose your job don't you get it...I am just trying to protect you?"

"And you want me to lie, so you get fired?" He questioned in disbelief

"I will handle it Hotch just please trust me..."

"No" he said firmly and in that tone, the tone he used while he was interrogating serial killers, the tone Emily knew it mean he was about to lose it.

"I will not let risk your job, your integrity and everything you have done, you already put your life at risk for, I am not risking your career as well..."

"Look Clyde and I can handle this... just please"

"Emily I don't want to talk about this anymore, I am not doing it! Now you need to rest and you need the let the doctors do what they have to do...I know you are trying to act like nothing happen but that is not going to help..." she closed her eyes for a second as a few tears escaped her eyes, he sat closer to her caressing her face softly

"Look at me please" he begged gently, her eyes focused on him, she willed the tears at bay until her eyes were burning.

"I will do it all over again, even if lose my job...I have absolutely zero regrets... and I will swear that in a court Emily...I did what I had to do, I saved you and that is all that matters to me" she closed her eyes again as a small sobbed escaped her lips. He reached out for her wrapping his arms around her and holding her close.

"I am so sorry you had to go trough all of that"

"Is okay, I am really am fine" she said in a muffled voice holding him close as well.

"You are not, but I will make sure you are..." he said wiping her eyes "Right now you need to rest but when you are ready. You have to talk about it, I am not letting you keep this inside Emily I will not leave until you do..."

"Have you talk to Beth and the kids?" Emily asked changing the subject

"No, JJ spoke to Alina earlier, they were going to take them back home, they also said Sean was

okay"

"You should go call them, you should also check with the team"

"Em I am not going to leave your side until I know you are okay..." her eyes meet his and a tear rolled down her eyes.

"I knew you will come get me, I knew that you will find me...I never lost hope"

"I will have gone to the end of the world to find you...do you hear me?...Emily, I will do it over and over... "

"I know" he wiped her eyes again kissing her kiss softly.

"Please try to rest, we can deal with everything else tomorrow..."

They were both interrupted by the noise of the door opening, Liam walked in, and Hotch's eyes turned dark at the sight of the man.

"Dear god love I was so worried about you" he said rushing towards the brunette completely ignoring Hotch. He sat down next to her wrapping her in his arms, Hotch felt anger bubbling up upon him, where in the hell was he while they were pulling her out of that house? 

"I am okay don't worry" she said closing her eyes, barely returning the hug.

"Bloody hell Emily what were you thinking taking this case" he said with a hint of anger in his voice.

"Are you being serious?" Hotch asked incredulously unable to stop himself. "She is in a hospital bed and your first thought is questioning her actions" his eyes were full of venom and he clenched his fist to contain himself. "Maybe you should ask her how is she doing before you start attacking her"

"Pardon me?" The Irish guy smirked "What make's you think you have any right to infringe in my personal life?" Liam shot back in disbelief

"You have absolutely no idea..." Hotch started furiously

"Can you two stop it please" Emily begged "I am fine, that is all that matters"

"Emily..." Hotch was ready to argue with her

"Will you mind giving us a minute please?" Liam asked tired of formalities, just who the hell did he think he was.

"No...she needs to rest"

"Aaron please" Emily begged the last thing she needed right now was for them to get into another argument

"Is okay just give us a few minutes please" she made eye contact with him, she was fine, she could trust that she will be okay.

"I will be right outside" He replied empathizing the outside part, the last thing he wanted was to leave her alone with this bastard, but she obviously wanted some privacy.

He made his way out of the room closing the doors and keeping his eyes on him, so now he was here to claim _he was the boyfriend_, where the hell had he been when she was kidnapped, or while they were trying to find her, or when Hotch himself, was riding the ambulance with her.

"Hey I just talked to Cruz" JJ told him pulling him back from his thoughts.

"How bad is it?" He asked simply there was no way to pretend everything was fine.

"Is messy" JJ raised her eyebrows meaningfully "We both know how much politics our jobs involve...but he did kidnapped and held captive the head of the Interpol..."

"That is pretty serious threat to the London Government..."

"We still broke protocol..." he replied, not that he was worried, even if he end up loosing his job he didn't give a damn, _still_ politics were always nasty.

"To hell with protocol Hotch, we stop a criminal who technically became a terrorist the minute he step into this country and attempted to harm Emily... I am sure they will be thanking us at the end..."

"JJ everything we have risked, the team, you..."

"I will stand by actions and decisions Hotch" She cut him off

"My family means much more to me that the stupid FBI... bureaucratic bullshit..." Hotch was surprised to hear her cuss but he watched her intensely, thankful for the years they had work together.

"I was going to say thank you...for always having my back...our families back..."

"When you are family...you don't sit around counting the times you come around for them... you just do it..." Hotch smiled and then her eyes averted towards the room.

"Is she okay?"

"I am hoping she will be" he said "Her boyfriend is here..." JJ didn't fail to notice the anger in his tone when he said the word. She almost smiled but she fought the urge, she knew very well he had always loved Emily and he probably always will.

"I was about time he showed his face" JJ said bitterly

Approximately ten minutes later Liam came out looking angry and annoyed, he barely acknowledged JJ and didn't even bother to look at Hotch. Both profilers exchanged worried glances, and before he was able to walk away Hotch went after him.

"Agent O'Donnell" he called "A word" he stated in a tone that clearly showed he wasn't asking, whatever Hotch had to say the Irish guy was going to hear it, _whether he wanted or not_. Liam looked at him back angrily but didn't respond.

"I am not sure if you actually understand what she just went thought" he started

"Don't try to tell me that I don't understand because ..." Liam bit

"You don't" he spat "If you did you will not be here recriminating her actions and blaming her for what happened..."

"I am not recriminating..."

"She was held captive" Hotch said through clenched teeth. "And God only knows what else that asshole did to her... but if your only worry is how her actions caused this then you have absolutely nothing to do here..."

"You! Agent Hotchner don't get to tell me where I can and cannot be... she is my girlfriend..."

"She is" Hotch reproached "And maybe if you had been with her when she was kidnaped she will would have never..."

"You brought this damn case and that bastard here..." Liam pointed angrily

"I did" Hotch barked getting closer to him

"I was also was the one who shot that bastard and carry her out of the house, it was me who rode the ambulance with her, and right now I am the one concerned about her wellbeing, while your so focused on your Goodman feelings..." Hotch shouted, Liam just started back at him with poison in his eyes. It was clear to him that he had not stop loving her.

"If I have to, I will see to myself that you aren't allowed back at this hospital... " The dark haired man threatened.

Both man stared down each other stubbornly, Hotch was literally inches from his face, to hell with the rules and regulations, he will kick his ass, how could be so inconsiderate towards Emily's well being. What the hell did she see on him anyway?

"You don't have to worry about me any longer Agent Hotchner" Liam smirked walking away from him

Hotch just stood there watching him leave, not really sure what he meant by that, but one thing he was sure off. He will not let him come back and stress Emily out, at least not while he was in the country. Meanwhile JJ had gone inside the room to check on Emily and to see if she needed anything.

"How are you feeling" JJ asked Emily sitting down at the edge of the bed

"I've had worse" Emily said bitterly, in an attempt to make JJs smile but the blonde woman just looked at her, with her blue eyes sparkling.

"I am so sorry that you had to go through that babe"

"JJ don't" she begged "I didn't even flinched, you do whatever it takes to protect your family" she said warmly "If I have to do it all over again, I will...for you, for Henry, for Hotch...you guys are the only family I have..."

"I know! Oh Emily I missed you so much" JJ stated pulling her for a warm hug.

"I miss you guys all the time" they remained holding each other for a little bit, then finally JJ pulled away.

"Are you and Liam oaky?" She asked realizing something was wrong and based on the way the Irish guy had left the hospital she didn't think it was good.

"I mean I get it if you don't want to talk about it, he just seemed pissed when he left"

"Maybe is just for the best" Emily said nonchalantly

"Wait you guys actually broke up?" JJ asked in shock

"Essentially" Emily told her "I mean he asked for time to think but I am sure its over..."

"I am sorry"

"I am too, but I can't keep lying to myself anymore Jen"

"You still love Hotch" it wasn't a question

"Is not about that, I mean I will probably always love him, but that is over too...I just, I realized that I was with Liam in an attempt to fill this empty space, I thought being with him will give me what I wanted and it hasn't that is not fair to him or me...and Aaron and I will never be together either but I just can't do this right now..."

"Well maybe you could?" JJ said wiggling her eyebrows

"What do you mean?"

"Be with Hotch" JJ said simply and Emily just shook her head immediately "I mean do you really think he is going to stay with Beth after everything...she sleep with his brother..."

"That doesn't change anything JJ"

"I could" 

"No it wont" Emily told her firmly "Even if he leaves her, is over...I can't be with him, things are different now..."

"You just said you still love him"

"I do" she confirmed "That doesn't mean I can be with him or I that I want to..." she stopped for a second collecting her thoughts

"I love him, but I am not in loved with him anymore... honestly I don't really think I ever was, I care for him deeply I always will...just like I love you guys...I just don't feel the same way I used to feel about him anymore, and maybe it was never in love in the first place..."

JJ and her both knew she was lying but her friend didn't push her any further, she had just been kidnapped and probably gone though hell, a thousand things were probably running through her mind right now. She had also just broken up with her boyfriend, and JJ knew very well it had nothing to do with Scratch and what happened. JJ knew her best friend better than anyone, Hotch being here had made feelings surface again, she could see it in her friend's eyes, _and her denial state proof her right, _she was running away again, from Liam, from Hotch and from her own feelings, denying that she ever felt anything for the Unit Chief was way better than admitting she still loved him more than ever.

"_**How evanescent those loves and friendships seem at this distance in time…We move on, make new attachments. We grow old. But sometimes, we hanker for old friendships, the old loves. Sometimes I wish I was young again. Or that I could travel back in time and pick up the threads. Absent so long, I may have stopped loving you, friends; but I will never stop loving the Day I loved you." Ruskin Bond**_


	16. Chapter 17

_**Loving You Forever Is What I Need Chapter Sixteen**_

"_**Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it."― **__**J.K. Rowling**_

Hotch poured himself a cup of coffee from the break room at the Interpol Office; he really didn't need anymore caffeine, but he did need something to distract himself. He had been waiting for Emily for the past few hours, she was supposed to meet him there around eight that morning but she wasn't there yet and it was past ten now. Logically Hotch _knew_, that she was a very busy person, after all she was the "Head of the Interpol Office." She probably had a thousand things to do each day, specially after Scratch's capture. There were meetings she had to attend, and papers she had to review and sign, and government officials she needed to debrief. But he was still worried, the team had only flown back to D.C a few nights before; the only reason why he had to stay was because he wasn't cleared by the Government of London after shooting Peter Lewis. Not that he was worried about that, he was doing his job, he had to do whatever he had to do, to protect and serve, protect mostly _Emily from Scratch. _He knew it was just procedure, and he was used to it by now, after all he was also a Unit Chief, so he knew exactly how politics worked.

But that wasn't what was in his mind right now, yes getting back to Emily! _Seriously where the hell was Emily? he was worried about her something_ was really going on with her. _Of course something was going on with her_, she had just been held captive by a sociopath not even a week ago, God only knew what Scratch had done to her; and he knew more than anyone the amount of trauma that brought on someone. _Logically he knew that,_ but there was something else going on with her, he just knew it. Just the afternoon before the team left, they went out to dinner. There wasn't a lot of time for them to really spend some quality time together, but they still agreed to dinner, _after all_ they had just taken down one of the most dangerous criminals together, they had to celebrate.

Emily took them to Liman Restaurant, probably _the best_ restaurant in London, the last time the team gathered together was about two years ago, right after Emily left. Hotch really enjoyed the team going out together again, it was an amazing night, just like any family gathering in the past. There was Derek making silly jokes and teasing Reid about his profound knowledge _of well,_ pretty much anything, and Garcia ordering shots for everyone and making them toast every ten minutes or so, then there was Dave's tales about his younger years and the many European women he dated, even Alina talked to them about her childhood and how she and Emily came to be friends. There was laugher and tears of joy, and some sour moments when they went over Scratch's capture again, and the many cases they closed together. It was just perfect, only Emily wasn't there, well she was _physically there_, but she wasn't there, the light in her eyes was gone, her mind was somewhere else, she even missed Spencer's Quantum Physics Joke, which she usually really enjoyed even if it was the 400th time she heard it.

Of course Hotch knew that trauma didn't manifest the same way in people, and naturally he didn't expect Emily to be immune or act like nothing happened; but he also knew she was hiding something. Dave made an attempt to talk to her a few times, she changed the subject and pretended to be very interested in the tread hanging loose from her sweater; when Hotch himself try to talk to her she snapped at him saying she had to do a report and they didn't have time for nonsense. _Hell _even Clyde tried to talk to her, but given their history and past together, that ended up even worse. Now he was here, pouring himself a cup of shitty coffee and wondering whether she was okay or not. He had already overheard Alana living her a voice mail regarding some important document she was supposed to give the London Major. That gave him the idea that even Alana had no idea where she was or what was going on. Of course it had only been a few days and he didn't really expect her to be a 100% okay, _but he did know her_ better than anyone, he was a profiler after all, he had known her for almost a decade, _and he had been in love with her for eight years_. He probably knew her better than she knew herself, and he was truly worried.

Just as he walked out of the break room drinking the nasty coffee, he saw Emily rushing towards her office, her curly hair flying around as she made her way to her through the busy bullpen. She looked tired, her cheeks were flushed pink probably from the cold and from ruining through the parking lot, and the cup of ice coffee she was holding was almost empty. As he made his way to her office he saw her exchange a few words with Alana, he couldn't hear what they were talking about, but he knew her defensive posture and the infamous "_I am not in the mood for this shit_" look, after all the woman had been _his_ once, he had been, in more than one occasion, on the receiving end of her wrath.

"Can you not do this right now please?" he heard her say, her eyes were dangerously looking at her friend and Hotch knew she was clearly pissed about whatever the European woman had said to her.

"Fine Emily! Whatever you say "Alina said storming out of the office angrily, whatever had happened was pretty bad as the blond woman didn't even see him standing outside of the office.

"Hey" he said walking in and looking at her closely

"Hotch" she said surprised, apparently she had not seen him when she walked in "I wasn't expecting you in today, your statement is not until tomorrow"

"Yeah, I know, I just wanted to stop by and check if you needed anything else for my original report for the case?" he asked, Emily just gave him a look. He knew, that she knew he was lying but right now he didn't really care about that.

"_Uhm no_, we already been over that _twice_" she emphasized annoyed, she truly didn't know why was she angry, she just wasn't in the mood for anyone not even him.

"I know, but Clyde call me this morning and he wanted you to review my statement before I meet with the board tomorrow" he said, it wasn't a lie, Clyde did wanted Emily to review his stamen, but they also knew very well _anyone _knew how to write a statement for a case properly it was Hotch.

"Right, I have a meeting right now, can we go over it in a few hours?" she asked barely making eye contact with him and gathering some files. Emily knew deep inside Hotch was just using that as en excuse to get her to talk so she was trying to prolong this as long as she could.

"Of course" he agreed softly " I can head back to the hotel since I have a few calls to make and then I can come back meet you here?"

"Or you can just use make the calls from my office and wait for me here?" she suggested not seeing the point of him going back to his hotel.

"Sure" he agreed, maybe he could talk her into having lunch with him and attempt to talk to her one more time.

"Alright" she awkwardly smiled "I'll see you in bit" then she headed out closing the door behind her. He watched her walk away trough the glass walls, if Hotch didn't knew any better she was barely keeping it together.

He sighed and reached for his briefcase, sinking into her chair, the sweet smell of her perfume still lingering in the air. After about one hour of continued phone calls, to Cruz, Dave, Beth, the Director of the FBI, Clyde, Beth again and his kids, he finally leaned back against the chair, running a hand over his forehead, he was truly exhausted, and he wasn't sure how much longer he will be held up in London, not that he was complaining, it gave him more time with Emily. His eyes glanced around the busy corridors briefly, and then, they wandered back around her office. In so many ways it reminded him of his office, painstakingly organized and neat, with the wooden bookcases against one wall. Her awards and diplomas were displayed on the wall in front of him, a leather couch, her glass desk, and another smaller bookcase behind him. There were a few pictures resting in the bookshelf; one of the team right before she left to London, another one with Garcia and JJ in what probably was a girl's night, a picture of an elderly gentleman, who Hotch recognized as her grandfather, and a few other of Sergio and the team.

He then glanced at her desk, where two computer screens rested, along with her purse, that she had haphazardly thrown at the top of her desk, a pencil holder, the phone he had been making calls on, a coffee cup, a glass award she shad received from Interpol an another picture frame. This particular one caught his attention, it was a picture of Jack and her, siting at the couch on Christmas day. He remembered the image because he had taken the picture, Jack was about seven years old, and they had spent Christmas at her apartment, Emily and Jack were sitting in the couch wearing red pajamas and wearing big smiles and holding presents. He ran his thumb over their happy faces gingerly, that was was when he was the happiest in his life, he wished he could go back in time and make everything right with her, after all she was the love of his life. He sighed again feeling nostalgic and placing down the picture on the desk, accidentally knocking down her purse in the process. _Dammi!,_ he cussed under his breath as all the contents of her purse scattered into the floor. He leaned down to gather the items carefully, and placing everything back inside her purse. Along the many items was her Interpol credentials, her two cellphones her personal and work one, lipstick, a compact mirror, a few tampons, a condom, (for some reason that made him angry) her wallet, a granola bar, a pack of gum, perfume, a pack of tissues, a small make up bag, several loose European coins, and small plastic bag with to glass bottles inside.

At first he just thought they were vitamins or something but then he looked closer, they look like a prescription, but it was on Russian or something, and it really didn't look like a doctor prescribed medication, it looked more like something you could get on black market. He frowned not understanding why Emily would have that in her purse _Дилаудид 10 мг,_ the little amber bottles read. He wasn't sure what it was, but it made him feel uneasy, he glanced around the bullpen again. Then he reached for his phone and started googling and searching for a translation of the weird vernacular. When he saw the word Dilauid pop on his cellphone screen, his heart stopped, and he almost drop the items again, this could not be happening. He knew exactly what this was, _after all_ one of his agents had been truly addicted to this particular drug a few years back. Then it downed him, Reid had only become addicted to it after he was held captive by Tobias Hankle almost a decade ago, the younger profiler only stated that he had become addicted because he needed a way to forget what happened to him, and because it put him in a state of sedation where he was encountered with his childhood memories, including his mother. He also knew that Emily was well aware of what Dilaudid was and what it did to Reid, she had been one of the very first people to notice something was going on with him, and she was there for him the whole time_, she knew perfectly well what a drug like that could do to someone, _but she was also in extreme emotional pain and she truly didn't have anyone here in London, well he was here now, but he didn't live there and well the team was now gone. He knew Alina was her friend but she will never be as close as JJ and Emily were, and even if they actually were, Hotch was not truly sure Emily will actually open to anyone about what Scratch had done to her, which only meant that if she was that desperate to knock the pain away, something truly bad had happened to her while she was captive. This wasn't good at all; this was worse than he had thought. How long had this been going on, and had she used this before? How many times had she been taking them and how serious was it since she had gone to nefarious means to get them, _this could not be happening not his sweet and kind Emily. _

He wasn't sure how long he stood there in her office staring out the window, the rainy city of London right in front of him. He was lost in thought, wondering when had Emily started feeling so alone, and desperate, feeling guilty and thinking he had caused part of that pain to her. He was pulled back from his thoughts when Emily walked back into her office, barely paying attention to what he was doing.

"I am so sorry Hotch" she apologized "These meetings can go on forever" but he wasn't paying attention to her at all he was still gazing out the window.

"Hotch" she called again and frowning when he didn't look back "Aaron?" she said louder

He turned around facing her and walking towards the door closing her door and drawing her blinds closed.

"Aaron what are you doing?" she asked looking at him confused

"We need to talk" that was all he said but she didn't like his tone at all

"Talk about what? We have nothing to talk about" she said annoyed

"Why don't you start by telling me what this is?" he asked opening his hand in front of her and revealing the medication. Her mouth dropped and she turned a shade or two more pale, she stared at him angrily the pale color of her skin quickly substituted by a shade color from furry.

"What in the hell do you think you are doing? Rummaging trough my things? She asked furiously

"I wasn't rummaging! Your purse felt into the ground" he defended, she rolled her eyes not believing a word he was saying, she was livid. How dare he to be going trough her things, who the hell did he think he was.

"What the hell is this Emily?" he asked in that tone that could make Emily run in the opposite directions

"I think you should leave" she said walking past him and opening her office door glaring at him, but Hotch had known her too long, he wasn't intimidated by her at least not now. He pushed the door closed again his eyes piercing into her with one of does killer "_Hotch glares"_ making her take a step back, but unable to say a single word.

"You can tell me what this is, or we can call Clyde and have a conversation with him about this" he pointed exasperated, he will never rat out out Emily but he needed to say something that will make her talk to him.

She walked towards the window holding her arms over her chest protectively and looking away from him in a very defensive position as if she was almost shielding herself from him entirely.

"You have no idea..." she said, her voice breaking and her eyes filling with angry tears. He watched her for a second his heart breaking in half and he approached her softly.

"Emily..." he said reaching out to touch her but she jumped recoiling from his touch.

"Please don't... _don't touch me"_ she finished unable to stop the tears from spilling from her eyes

"Emily..." he said confused looking at her, it pained him so much to see her in such distress

"Emily did he" he could not even form the words, his mind clouding as he tried to make sense of what was imagining

"Did he touched you...?" he asked unable to finish the sentence, they both they exactly what he was asking.

"Not like that...he didn't" she said wiping her eyes quickly and still avoiding to look at him "I wish he had" she said bitterly.

"It would have been better if he had" and it was true. Scratch had not touch her, at least not sexually, no _he had done worst_, he had violated her in every other sense of the word, he had violated her memories and her soul, he had make her commit the most atrocious acts that she never thought she was capable of. Somehow that was worst, it he had sexually assault her she will have survived knowing that he was a monster, but with this, _with this he had shown her she was the monster_.

"Don't say that" Hotch said looking at her "You have no idea what you are talking about" he wanted to reach out for her, to hold her in his arms and reassure her that everything was going to be okay, but he knew that she will probably slap him if he did.

"How long have you been doing this?" He asked genuinely concerned, he held the two bottles in front of her, he didn't know what else to ask but he needed to start somewhere.

"I haven't since you asked" she said reproachfully wiping her eyes angrily and walking away from him, she could not even look him in the eye

"Then why do you have them?" he asked in a defeated tone

"I haven't use them okay? If that is what you want to know, I am not some twisted mental patient" she said shaking her head looking at him angrily and maybe even ashamed

"Emily this isn't..." he said shaking his head unsure what to do next or where to even start "You need to tell me what happened there..." he begged

"I need you to leave" she said firmly holding the tears at bay, she was so done talking about this particular subject

"Emily..."

"_Dammit Aaron just leave!_" She shouted at him Hotch could see trough the cracks of the blinds that people around the office were looking at them. This really wasn't the time or the place, but that didn't mean he was going to just drop the subject.

"I am not going to let this go...if you don't tell me..."

"Then what Aaron? What are you going to do?" she threatened "Do whatever you have to do, talk to the Director or the major, hell have me arrested if you wish, I don't give a damn just leave me alone" she said in a tone Hotch had never heard, she rushed past him grabbing her purse and walking out of the office leaving him there just looking at her in shock.

"_**There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds."― **__**Laurell K. Hamilton**_


	17. Chapter 175

**Loving You Forever Is What I Need Chapter Seventeen**

"_**The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart." Helen Keller**_

Emily sat quietly at the pew of St Paul's Cathedral, she was in the last row of the dark church, only illuminated by the glowing candles, giving the room a dark spooky appearance. There wasn't anyone else there besides Emily, for being one of the most famous cathedrals in London, it was quiet surprising; although not really, given that it was almost ten o'clock at night. She had been walking on the rain for quiet a long time, the wet strands of hair framing her face, her makeup was all smeared by the rain and her own tears, and she was soaking wet. Every other minute or so she shivered from the cold and loneliness; however, there was an eerie yet comforting feeling from being in a room lit by candles. She wasn't quiet sure how long she had been walking, or where, hell she didn't even know why she made it to church to begin with. Is not like she was extremely religious, she had not been in a church in over a decade. _But still_ this place right now was the only thing that kept her from falling apart completely.

She heard _his _footsteps long before he walked inside the church, she didn't even flinch when the wooden floor cracked under his weight, but she didn't even bother to acknowledge him. She knew very well that eventually _he will find her_, after all the man was the best profile in the history, of well probably the entire world, that_ she knew off._ That didn't mean that she wanted to talk to him, but she also knew she couldn't keep running and hiding from him. He was the only person she couldn't hide from, he was the only person that could see trough her eyes, even when they were closed, there was something so incredibly sexy and scary about that.

"How did you find me?" she asked in a low raspy voice barely audible

"Your are soaking wet" he said simply as he looked at the droplets pooling down at her feet

"Let me take you home you must be freezing ..." he said still standing down looking at her fighting the urge to pull her into his arms.

"I haven't been in a church in almost twelve years" she said looking at the large crucifix right in front of the huge beautiful church, he followed her gaze, feeling uneasy.

"I don't even think I am welcome here..." her voice sounded exhausted yet full of pain.

"Emily..." he said softly finally giving in and sitting down next to her

"When you left the office this afternoon...I have never been so scared in my life before..." Emily turned to look at him for a second question and confusion in her eyes, she shook her head knowingly and smirking.

"I not crazy Aaron, I am not going to kill myself" she said offended and maybe even hurt.

"I am not going to ask where you got the medication" he said referring to their earlier conversation

"But I need to know why did you even feel the need to..." he stopped not entirely sure how to continue, he looked at her again his glossy eyes full of fear, only a few times she had seen the stoic unit chief about to cry, her own eyes filled and she took a few steady breaths to calm herself down, Emily blinked the tears away taking a shaky breath and knowing that not matter what happened she had to be honest with him.

"About a year go we had this case..." she began not entirely sure how to explain how she was feeling

"The guy had been kidnaping girls and raping them... he was sliding their throats and leaving them there to die ..."

Hotch cringed at her words, child molesters were something that had always make him sick, probably one of the major reasons why he did what he did, he let her continued without interrupting her.

"When we got there he tried to use the girl as a shield to avoid being shot" Emily said wiping a few tears from her eyes and taking a deep breath "I tried to distract him by talking about his mother but he ended up..." her voice broke again and she was unable to continued but Hotch didn't need to hear the rest, he had killed the little girl in front of her.

"I am so sorry you that to witness that" he said taking her small cold hands into his, he had no idea that she had been holding that over her head for so long.

"Anyway" she continued blinking the tears away and looking down at her lap "I had really bad nightmares after that" She said ironically "For weeks and I just couldn't sleep... I was losing my mind and I knew I couldn't keep going like that, I was risking my sanity and the teams safety, ... the doctor prescribed me something for sleep..." Emily said softly looking at him again

"I never liked medication but for some reason it was the only thing that helped me sleep and not think..._at all,_ it was like I could disconnect myself from all the pain and darkness I see every day "

Hotch closed his eyes _so that was what it was_, she was trying not think about what happened with Scratch, she was trying to numb the pain away. He reached out unable to stop himself, pulling her into his arms and holding her close.

"Sweetheart...Emily...please tell me what happened with Scratch" he begged "You need to talk about it, you can't keep going on like this..."

"I don't want to talk about it..." she mumbled still crying "I just I don't want to Aaron..."

"I know baby, but you are going to have to...you know that right? " he said wiping her tears away, she nodded and pull away from him some, looking up again, she wasn't quiet sure why she had gone there, she always hated churches

"Let me take you home, you can warm up and we can talk for a little bit okay?" Emily didn't say anything else but she let him pull her from the bench and lead her out of the church gently, his hand in the small of her back.

A few hours later Emily was sitting in her couch Indian style, _staring out into space, to nothing in particular,_ the fireplace was on, and she soft cracking of the fire making her feel in sort of a third dimension. She had taken a long hot shower as she cried silently unable to hold it together any longer, she stood there crying for as long as she could, the hot water erasing any trace of her pain and the emptiness in her eyes. When she came out she only felt marginally better, she quickly changed into a pair of yoga pants and her FBI sweet shirt, when she came out into the living room Hotch was making tea by her stove, they hadn't really say much after he picked her up at the church.

He sat both mugs of tea in front of her coffee table and then he sank down into the couch, she followed him without saying anything, she knew it was time to talk, but she wasn't even sure what to say.

"I am not even sure where to start..." she said already shaking and losing her voice.

"Tell me what happened when you went home the night he took you..." his voice was gentle, he didn't want to sound demanding he just wanted to help her open up.

"Um, okay" she swallowed "Alina drop me off and Liam was there, we talked a little bit, I don't even remember about what" she said frowning, _Hotch tensed up a bit_, that stupid boyfriend of hers had the ability the get under his skin even by just hearing his name.

"Then he left and I went to take a shower..." she continued staring at the fire, her body already warming up and she could feel a little bit more relaxed.

"When I came out Sergio was acting weird...he was under the bed, and I knew something was wrong so I went to check and then...I dunno he must have hit me or drug me because everything went black..." she said closing her eyes and swallowing hard, he reached for her had grasping it gently letting her know that _it was okay_ she was safe now and she could keep talking.

"When I woke up again, it wasn't here, I was in some sort of room resembling a hospital or something, _um Scratch was there_..." her voiced tightened but she continued talking

"He said I had been impaled, the pain in my ribs and stomach was so real... I could not move and I knew he had taken me to get to you..." Aaron hated the painful look in her eyes as she related the story to him, as much as he wanted her stop talking, he knew very well that she needed to talk. He remembered exactly what it did to him when refused to share what Scratch had done to him.

"I keep coming in an out of consciousness and I kept going into this sort of coma and having this weird dreams and –Hotch _I really_ don't want to talk about this..." she whispered as she began to panic.

"You are okay sweetheart you know this is important..."

"Did he told you what he wanted?" he asked

"Um, yeah he wanted me tell him where your children where at...but I knew I couldn't so I kept stalling, I knew that eventually you will guys find me..." she said trustfully

"Then he started playing with my mind and my memories... he just kept digging he wouldn't leave it alone ..." she said Hotch frowned looking at her in confusion

"What do you mean?"

"He just... kinda made me dream, but they weren't actually dreams you know" she sniffled

"They were memories, my childhood, my mother...everything she did...all the stuff I fought so hard to forget..." she sobbed and covered her face. Hotch wrapped her in hug feeling anger rise up him, the bastard didn't think it was enough to psychically torture her, he had mentally torment her with what the memories that hurt her the most while she was a kid.

"Emily I am so sorry that you had to go trough all of that" but she just pulled away from him wiping her eyes and gaining her composure.

"After a while I started losing sense of what was real and what was not... I was afraid I will lose my mind..." she confessed "But I was mostly scared that I will tell him anything that could put you or the kids in danger..." and he just felt a little bit more in love with her right there.

"Then I woke up again and the only thing I remembered was the phone conversation and him firing a shot, I knew you guys were probably thinking I was dead so I had to figure out a way to get out of there..." she continued talking, her eyes looked empty and lost but Hotch just let her talk

"For some reason I was more conscious than before, I was fully aware of everything, and so I asked him to let me use the bathroom and he did..." she said swallowing again

"I thought that if I could see where I was maybe I could find a way to tell you guys...when I came out of the bathroom he had gone upstairs so I just followed him...and then he was sitting in this room that look like an office" Hotch nodded that sounded like the room they had found her at

"He then offered me a water bottle, and I didn't want to take it, but then he drank some water from it, so I took it and then..." she stopped talking and she closed her eyes unsure if she could continue or not

"You are doing okay" he encouraged rubbing his thumb along her cold hand

"He told me that he wanted to show me _what people were capable of_" she frowned trying to remember as much as she could but tears started clouding her eyes and memories and she stopped talking

"What is it?" Hotch asked her confused

"He said you killed Haley" her eyes full of tears now "I told him he was out of his mind and then he..." she chocked in her own tears "He show me some video of you talking to the director and arranging Haley's murder and then..."

Hotch watched her confused but then he understood, Scratch make Emily have a hallucination of Hotch himself had actually committed a crime, in this case hurting Haley. He knew that Scratch wasn't going to make Emily hallucinate about her being death, she will have seen right trough it, so instead of showing her how he killed her, or how he killed the team, he showed her something that threw her of guard and made her think Hotch himself was a murdered, that was smart_, even for Scratch_

But Emily was unable to continue, she covered her face with her hands and she cried softly, it pained him so much to see hear in so much agony, that he wished he could kill Scratch again.

"I didn't want to believe you have done something like that, but I was so angry and I never felt such a rage before...I don't even know how to explain..." she said in a voice Hotch could not recognize, and he wasn't even sure if what she was telling him now had been a delusion or it had been real.

"Then I don't remember what else he said from there...all I could remember was feeling overwhelmed by anger and this need to just destroy... _you_" her last words took him by surprise, it was like she wasn't longer talking and someone else was. Like suddenly she had been possessed by someone else.

"I had a gun in my hands and I just knew right then what I was going to do" she said her eyes were emptying now and as much he wanted to pull her into his arms, but he knew it was a very bad idea.

"The team came trough the doors and then...I don't remember much.. I just remember seeing you and I never felt so much hatred and disgust against you..." she sniffled

"You tried to talk to me but it didn't matter anymore, I had already made my mind... and then I watched you drop into the ground..." she sobbed "after I shot you, and I stood there with a satisfied grin watching as the light left your eyes and the drip of blood trailed down your face and I just... I just..." but then she couldn't talk anymore, she felt like she was chocking , the walls were closing again and suddenly everything was to much she just broke down sobbing uncontrollably.

Hotch didn't need to hear anything else he just pulled her into his arms running his hand gently over her hair, his own eyes feeling with tears, from anger and frustration, Scratch had gotten so deep into Emily's head that she fully believed she had attempted to kill him, _hell the son of a bitch had actually make her kill him in her delusion_, Scratch knew that the only way to destroy Emily was to make her thing she was a murdered too, so when he told her he was going to show her what humans were capable of, _he wasn't talking about Hotch_, he was talking about her, and he finally understood everything, Emily genuinely believed she had become a monster that day.

"Honey it was all a dream okay none of that was real" he said softly whispering into her hair

"He make me kill you Aaron, and you know what? I wanted to do it, he didn't held a gun to my head, I pulled that trigger because I wanted to..." she sobbed

"That _was part of the delusion_ sweetheart, he wanted you to think it was you who did it, he wanted you to feel like you were a monster..."

"But I am" she sobbed "I still did it" she defended "Even when I knew what he was capable of doing..."

"Emily you didn't kill me, I am here standing next to you, and _no you didn't want to kill_ me either...that was all the drugs, he made you see things, everything that you remember from that night was a dream... a hallucination he made you have..." he told her his own eyes begging to empty as he wiped her eyes

"You are the most amazing and kind person I have ever meet you are not a monster baby..." he vowed

"But I wanted to hurt you...that night"

"No you didn't" he said firmly "And you know how I know that?" he questioned wiping her cheeks and kissing her lips

"Because _THIS is eating you alive baby_" he told her simply tears running down his eyes

"It affected you so much that you felt the need to use a drug to forget this memories, because is not you...it never was Emily... and it never will be... that is why it hurts so much...that is the difference between you and him... he tried to break you and he couldn't so he made you believe you were like him, and that is why this is affecting you so much, because you are not a pad person baby" he said lovingly

"You are the most amazing woman I have ever met" he said meaningfully "You went trough all of this to save me and my kids... and this right here" he said softly reaching to touch her heart

"What you are feeling here is a huge amount guilt that wont let you sleep, that Emily is the biggest proof that you aren't a bad person... and you are the woman l love the most in this world and that is exactly why l love you so much...because even when he tried to destroy your soul, it affected your emotional health so much because is not apart of you are, you are a good person Emily, you are the bravest and most amazing human I have ever known" He held her once again, hoping that whatever this was finally over and she could overcome this, she just continued to cry in his arms, finally letting everything out.

Eventually her cries subside and all he could hear was the soft cracking of the fire, and her soft breathing, she was calm enough now. She was now laying on his lap, her eyes still closed, his fingers tangled in her hair combing her locks softly and making her feel more calm and relax. He didn't even know what time it is or how long they have been sitting there, all he knew was that she chad been crying for while, but she was finally able to let it all out, and he is glad that she did because this would have destroyed her, even if it broke his heart in half to know what Scratch did to her, but deep inside he knows that everything will be okay. A while later Emily finally stood up, giving him a brave smile, taking the tea mugs with her she was so tired she was sure she will drop to the ground and pass out. She didn't want to think anymore, not for tonight, she wanted to sleep, tomorrow will be another day, but for now she just needed this day to be over.

"I will get you some fresh towels and sheets for the guest room" she told Hotch setting the mugs in the sink.

"Emily that is not necessary I can go back to the hotel; I don't want to impose and you need to rest" Hotch said standing up getting ready to leave.

"You are not imposing Hotch and is one o'clock in the morning, is raining you aren't going anywhere with this weather" she pointed briefly glancing out the window, there was absolutely no way she was going to let him drive this late in that weather, she walked past him heading to the guest room but he stopped her grabbing her hand softly, making her turned to look at him.

"Promise me that you will never ever think about doing something like that again... the medication..." his voice was full of pain and sadness it broke her heart in half.

"I promise you" she said feeling some what ashamed, he just stood there looking at her, with those deep hazel eyes that once stole her breath away.

"Emily..." he wasn't sure what to say, _I love you wasn't enough anymore_, and it wasn't like words really matter right now. What he felt for her was stronger than anything else he had ever felt, so instead of talking, he pulled her close to him, watching her shocked eyes and he just kissed her.

The kiss was a soft and gentle one, yet full of meaning, her soft lips caressed his own like a sweet warm blanket, shielding him from his fears. He wrapped his arms around her waist and to prevent her from pulling away, _but she didn't_, she let him kiss her and even started reciprocating the kiss. It had been so long since the kissed like that, so intimately and passionately, and after two years he only realized what he already he knew, _yes he still loved her so madly, and he will never be able to stop loving her, he didn't even think it was possible to love someone so much._

"Aaron" she said pulling away first and desperately trying to leave his arms "This isn't..." but his mouth was on hers again and his kisses silenced her one more time; holding her even closer than before. The kiss lasted as long as it could, until something stirred inside them.

"Hotch no stop!... we shouldn't..." She stated walking away from him and stopping in front of the chimney her back to him, this wasn't okay, this should not be happening right now.

"Maybe you should go back to the hotel after all..."

He didn't respond he just came closer to her, wrapping his arms around her from behind pulling her close to him again. He leaned down to kiss her neck tentatively, keeping his grip on her, Emily whimpered fighting against her own feelings.

"Aaron please..." she begged as he pressed tentative kisses against her neck and collarbone

"Tell me that you don't feel anything for me anymore and I will leave and never bother you again..." his whispered against her ear, his thick breath making her shiver and the moist between her legs growing each passing second.

"Just tell me that you don't love me anymore that is all I need to know..." he said again more firmly, Emily closed her eyes, intensely overwhelmed by the warmth of his lips, her feelings, perhaps the fire burning in front of her, her throat was closing around her and she wanted to run form him again.

He turned her around to face him and he could see the tears in her eyes starting to form again, there was also fear, but love nonetheless, Hotch knew that very well, he could see trough her soul, so instead of talking he just acted and crashed his lips against her again, much more passionately than had ever allowed himself to do.

Emily couldn't even put her thoughts together, maybe she didn't even want to anyway, instead she returned the kiss with the same passion and love. Maybe it was wrong, maybe she wasn't supposed to be doing this, they were both in relationships technically, even if Liam and her were over. She knew that Hotch probably going to leave Beth, but she couldn't bring herself to care, right now she didn't give a damn about what was right and what was wrong, for so long she had done exactly what was expected of her, for once in her life she was going to follow her heart even if it only meant having him for tonight.

So she let him pull her sweatshirt over hear head, and she let him assault her neck, his kisses were soothing, taking each small trace of pain away from her heart and her soul. Hotch wanted to pick her up in his arms and carry her into her bedroom but there was something so comforting about making love to her right there in front of the fire place, with no other barriers in between them. So he gently lowered her down into the soft fluffy carpet, kissing her softly and reaching up for a few the couch pillows and setting them down before propping her head on the top of them, while his lips trailed soft kisses across her chest, trough the sports bra.

"Aaron..." Emily whimpered softly, not wanting his lips to leave her mouth and undoing the rest of his shirt desperate to feel his broad chest again, the soft cracking of the fire filling her ears. His soft warm hand caressed her cheek, looking at her so intensely, his eyes full of desire, passion and adoration, and from that moment on nothing else mattered.

"I love so much my sweet girl..." he said before he kissed her again, and then he just stopped talking, all he cared about was just being with her like this. Together they work on getting their clothes off, Hotch was completely naked and Emily was done to her satin black panties, his expert callused fingers moved inside her panties making her gasp in pleasure throwing her head back.

"Oh... god..." she whimpered so softly we could barely hear her, then her hand joined his, and he guided her movements inside her until she is writhing, his mouth captured her nipple biting it softly and it was all it took to send her to the edge, she clenched around him with a shaking moan.

"Aaron...please..." she begged as he continued to rub gentle circles against her throbbing sensitive bud.

"What do you want baby" he asked huskily knowing exactly what she wanted

"You..." she gasped closing her eyes "I want you..." she pulled him close kissing him ardently she racked her nails against his hard chest going down until she reached his hard member, stocking him a few times, his soft moans and grunts making her even more wet. She then easily rolled them taking him into his back and straddling him with one sly movement, sinking into his erection unable to hold any longer.

"God baby..." he grunted , but she smiled at him so sexily, leaning down to kiss him, then she began to ride him slowly but steadily. His nails dug into her ass and he held her hips firmly helping her keep the steady pace. He allowed her take control for now, there was something very sexy about watching her ride him, as she closed her eyes in pleasure, the small gasp that escaped her mouth was like music to his ears, one of his favorite things to hear, was the sounds she made while they were making love.

A few minutes later he rolled them again, her back hitting the carpet and he sank deeper into her, rising up to his palms to keep eye contact with her. The small drops of sweat beginning to form and drip from her chest, the silhouette of the fire reflecting in their naked sweaty bodies, and it was so was much more perfect that had ever imagined. The rhythm was so slow almost agonizingly painful, yet so pleasurable and he was so ready to explode, yet he controlled himself pulling out of her for a second and kissing he passionately. Once he allowed himself a few seconds to regain his composure, he slid back inside her.

"Oh Aaron" she gasped kissing him again and digging her heels into his back guiding her deeper inside her. The pace was still slow and calm, this wasn't just about sex, it never was with Emily, it was so much than that, it always had been. Right now he wanted to make her feel the most exquisite creature on earth, he wanted to make her feel so loved and absolutely adored, so he prolonged this as much as he could, until they were both covered in sweat, and breathing erratically the warmth of the fire caressing their bodies and making this so much more intense.

When she finally climaxed it was one the one of the strongest orgasm she had ever experienced, her body was burning with passion and love, he collapsed on the top of her, unable to breath any longer, he only found enough strength to reach for the blanket draped over her couch and he covered their naked bodies with it, listening as both of their breathing even out. A few minutes later her eye lids grew heavy, and he just lay there holding her close to his chest, the gentle noise of her breathing tickling his chest, he knew that she was asleep and he didn't event dare to move, just like that he closed his eyes praying to God that her nightmare was finally over.

"_**To a woman sexual intimacy is more a tool to get mentally close to her partner than merely a means to physical pleasure."― Abhijit Naskar**_


	18. Chapter 18

_**Loving You Forever is What I Need Chapter Eighteen**_

"_**What do you do when the one person you want comfort from the most is the one who caused your pain? How can I want so desperately for him to wrap me up in his arms but also want so much for him to leave me alone."― Amanda Grace**_

Two days later Hotch stepped inside the Interpol building with his go bag and suitcase next to him, he had checked out of the hotel around seven that morning. In just a few more hours he would be flying back do D.C and he will probably never see Emily again. He had already made his statement to the London Government about Scratch and he was cleared to leave the country. Interpol directors had agreed that Hotch had done the right thing and if it weren't because of him Emily would be good as dead. Of course more than just that, but for now he was able to fly back to D.C without any issues. He will probably have to face his own set of issues with the FBI directors and Cruz, after all, he was told not to work the case and he did, but he will deal with that at a later time.

His job in London was done, and now he had to go to D.C and face his messy life and the truth. He knew he was gonna divorce Beth for sure, especially after he found out she was sleeping with his brother. Hotch knew that marriage was over, hell it had been over for a very long time, and to be honest with himself _he did not even care about Beth or what she had don_e, he was more hurt with Sean after all he was his brother. But when he really thought about it, it didn't surprise him from Sean either, every time he talked to him, it was bad news or he was in trouble.

Ultimately he just wanted Jack and Jayden to be fine and have a good life, he loved his kids and that is all that mattered to him. He had sworn to himself after Haley died, that he will never raise another child without either of his parents, but none of this was his fault, and he wasn't going to hurt his kids _more_ by staying with Beth after everything that had happened. _Especially when he loved someone el_se

He had come to Interpol that morning to thank Easter, Alina, and Emily for all their help and to make sure there was absolutely nothing else he needed to do before flying back. Deep inside him, he knew, he was just looking for an excuse to s_ee Emily once again before he lef_t, even if she wasn't talking to him right now. Things had been very awkward between the two of them for the past two days and Hotch wasn't sure what to do, or how to approach her.

The morning after their night together, _the night they made love_ wasn't exactly what Hotch wanted it to be. Of course, he knew it will be weird since they had not been together in over two years and well he was technically married. But he knew that he loved Emily more than anything in the entire world, and she loved him as well even if she didn't want to admit it. Somehow for him, that night had been a way of telling her that he still loved her and he was willing to do anything to be with her and to make things work, even if they had to try a long-distance relationship.

But that morning Emily got up before he did and she busied herself with getting ready to work and making coffee, without even looking at him, she exchanged maybe two words with him and then said something about needing to go to the office as soon as possible and when tried to talk to her about what happened, all hell broke loose.

* * *

_Flashbacks _

_"What the hell do you want me to say Hotch?" she asked glaring at him from where she was standing in the kitchen _

_"I don't know maybe you can tell me what is really on your mind right now?" he loved Emily so dearly but sometimes she just really piss him off. _

_"You want to know what's on my mind?" she asked as she slammed her cup of coffee on the counter "I will tell you what's on my mind..."_

_"I am thinking this should have never happened, it was a mistake...and we should move on with our lives" that obviously wasn't the answer he was expecting and she could see it _

_"What do you think was gonna happen Aaron?" her voice was calm but she was angry and he knew it _

_"That we were gonna have sex and everything that happened between us will be erased...that suddenly I was going to jump back in your arms and beg you to be with me ?"_

_"That is not what I am saying, Emily" he took a deep breath "I just need to know if it meant something to you..."  
_

_"Dammit Aaron you are still married..." she shouted finally "What were you hoping for? to have Beth in D.C playing the submissive wife card and to keep on the side as some kind of rebound sex every time you feel like getting laid or every time you come to London?"_

_"Beth and I are over" he bit tightly "and do you really think I will ever do that to you..."_

_"You did it before...that is all this relationship has ever been," she said smirking _

_" An excuse for you to take out your sexual frustrations while you walk around life trying to be a man" that was a low blow and she knew it but she needed to say something that will push him away._

_"That is bullshit Emily" now he was angry "I have never treated you as if this was only about sex..."_

_"Are you sure about that?" was her response  
_

_"I asked you to marry me" he shouted _

_"More than once, I know it made mistakes, but don't you dare to blame all of this on me... " Emily realize that maybe she had been a bit too harsh_

_"Aaron.."_

_"No," he said furiously "If you don't want to make this work because of your own securities then say it so, but don't you dare to act as if taken advantage of you... you are old enough to say no.."_

_"Aaron that is not..."_

_"I am leaving..." __and then just like that he was gone from her apartment and they both carried on as nothing had ever happened_

* * *

After he spoke to Clyde, he walked towards her office, she WAS speaking with someone and the blinds were closed. Alina had mentioned something about her being in a meeting, so he waited around for about twenty minutes, while he debated if he should just go and call her from the airport. It was not like they were in very good terms right now anyway, _but this was business as well_, and even if they weren't really happy at each other, they still needed to be professional and finish the case they both closed together.

After what it seemed like forever Emily's door finally opened and an older gentleman Hotch recognized as the Chief Inspector, shaking Emily's had and exchanging a few more words. Emily finally made eye contact with him, and she finished her conversation with the inspector walking him toward Clyde's office, and then she made her way towards him.

"Hotch," she said politely as a form of acknowledgment

"Can you please give me about fifteen minutes? I need to sign some documents and then we can leave"

"Oh no Emily," he said waving his hand "I just wanted to say goodbye, I know your busy so...I was planning on just taking a cab"

"Hotch I said I was going to drive you the airport" she bit her lip not sure what else to say "Just because...we..."

"Emily really is okay, I will just call..."

"Aaron! I want to take you alright? We are friends regardless of what happened, just give me a few minutes" she stated firmly walking away.

"Okay" he didn't want to argue with her, so he just agreed.

About ten minutes later Emily came out of her office with her coat and purse, giving some instructions to a guy hotch had never seen.

"Ready?" she asked him with a half-smile

"Yeah" he followed her to the parking lot. She didn't say much as he placed his luggage in her car. Maybe he should have gone by himself after all the last thing he wanted was to make her more uncomfortable than she already was.

"Are you in trouble with the Inspector?" he asked knowing that a visit like that usually meant more than just a hello visit, he would not forgive himself if somehow this case cost her the job she fought so hard for.

"Hmm no actually," she said glancing at him as they both got in the car

"They are making some changes around the organization and they want me in charge of another branch..."

"The Washington gateway office..." she finished as she started driving away

"As is Washington D.C?" he asked surprised

"Yeah"

"Really? Emily that is amazing...congratulations " his heart began filling with joy, this would mean she would be in D.C more often and he could see her again after al

"I am not sure I am taking it"

"Why not? Would you have to move back to D.C ?"

"Not necessarily, but there would be a lot of traveling involved and I am not sure I want to do that again"

"That is understandable," he said glancing around the city a big part of him feeling nostalgic, he always imagined he would come to visit her and have an amazing time in London.

"Do you have to make a decision right away?"

"Uhm I have to tell them by the end of the week"

"That seems like a lot of pressure, they should at least give you some time to think" Hotch already knew that she wasn't going to take the job, and he was sure it was because of him

"I mean after what happened with Scratch"

"I am supposed to take the next few weeks off, I mean assuming I take the job..."

"But you are not taking it" he answered for her

"I am not taking it..." Emily confirmed focusing on the road, there was much more to the story but he didn't want to ask.

Right now there were too many things going on with their lives, trying to convince her to take the job to be closer to him, was probably not a good idea and it will only make her more angry with him.

* * *

About one hour later they were both waiting at the Heathrow airport, Emily didn't want to just drop him off and leave, after all, he still cared about him, regardless of everything that had happened between them. They heard his flight being called and they both knew it was time to say goodbye.

"Is there anything I can say to convince you to take the job?" he heard himself asking as they reach the gate.

"No," she said lamely looking down, "I think is just for the best, we should just focus on our lives and move on..."

"Emily..."

"What Aaron?" she asked harshly, her eyes already glistening

"I know this is probably the wrong thing to say right now but that night was more than just sex for me I love you, Emily, I always have and I probably always will " she looked away from him shaking her head and blinking the tears away

"I know you do, but that doesn't change anything...you are still married and everything is exactly the same way it was when I left two years ago..."

"I am going to divorce Beth, I already told you that"

"It doesn't matter Aaron, you leaving Beth won't make a difference"

"But if you take the job, we could at least try long-distance...it would be hard but we could make it work, I will do anything to make it work... just give us a chance please," he said desperately

"You should leave," she said looking away from him "You are going to lose the flight..."

"Emily..." he begged as he took her hand and he tried to pull her close to him

"Please Aaron! just don't this..." she was fighting so hard to keep the tears at bay.

"I will wait for you however long it takes..."

"Aaron is over," she said a little bit more firmly "It has been for two years, you should go home and just forget about me"

"I can't, I love you, Emily, don't ask me to stop loving because I can't..." he said his own eyes glistening

"But if that is what you want if you want me to never bother you again, I will leave you alone ..." he said, "Is that what you want..?"

"It is..." she responded but she couldn't bring herself to look him in the eyes

"Alright then I will do as you wish" he placed one last kiss on her lips

"Goodbye Emily" then he just walked away from her not looking back.

Emily just watched him leave, her eyes beginning to empty, she didn't want to start sobbing there at the airport so she just left, feeling more empty and lonely than she ever had before.

* * *

About a month later Emily walked into her apartment one afternoon, after a long day of work. She was supposed to be going out for drinks with Alina but she ended up changing her mind and just going home. Maybe all she needed was a hot shower, take out food, a glass of wine and cuddling with her cat. She placed her purse in the counter sighing tiredly as Sergio began meowing pathetically and walking around her feet.

"Oh you are not dying furball," she said picking the cat up "I left you enough food this morning"

"So what did you do today handsome?" the cat meow back at her happy to have his mom home.

"Sleep around all day? lucky boy," she said placing a kiss on the cats head and setting him back down in the floor

"Okay Serg, we are gonna order some food baby and then we can watch movies," she said heading towards her bedroom he cat following after her.

Emily took a shower, and while it wasn't a long and quiet bath like she was planning on, she was feeling so much better. She changed into a pair of leggings and her FBI academy shirt and then she went into the kitchen to pour herself a glass of wine.

"What should we order for dinner Serg?" Emily asked going through the delivery flyers on her drawer. The cat just linked around her feet meowing contently.

"Yeah you are right Chinese sounds good," she said as she took the flyer, glancing through the menu, she would probably end up ordering way too much food, but she couldn't bring herself to care right now.

Her cellphone started ringing and she grunted in annoyance thinking it was Clyde with another case, but to her surprise, it was JJ calling her on face time. She accepted the call picking up her glass of wine and heading towards her couch.

"Hey you" She smiled when the blonde's face came into the screen

"Someone looks too happy to be at work" was JJ's response

"I just got home " Emily responded settling against the pillows "I haven't had a day off in months"

"At least you get to drink tonight," The blonde woman said sadly.

"Wait aren't you at work? Isn't like afternoon there only right "

"Yeah it is," JJ said glancing around "I am at work, Penelope and I were supposed to go to lunch but God only knows where she is right now"

"Probably somewhere harassing Morgan," Emily said and they both laughed

"Are you okay? You look tired" Emily asked knowing her friend's tone was a little different than usual.

"I hate when people say that" JJ commented nonchalantly "Is a polite way of saying _you look like shit_"

"Come on JJ was going on?" Emily asked knowingly

"Nothing is going I am just tired I think and is been a hell of a month, we have worked way more cases than we can handle..so the whole team is under a lot of stress"

"There is something you are not telling me..." The blond just looked away from the screen for a second and then she focused on Emily again

"I am not sure if you want to know this..."

"Oh my god, just tell me, Jen, you are scaring me..." the brunette said exasperated

"Is Hotch" JJ finally said and Emily understood that her friend was trying not o upset her.

"Is he okay?" Emily asked hoping there wasn't another serial killer after them, but unsure if she wanted to open that door.

"I mean he is not in immediate danger if that is what you want to know..."

"But?" Emily asked feeling her stomach begin to drop, these kinds of news were never good, every time they talked someone was in danger.

"He is just on a roll..." JJ began

"What do you mean?"

"He has been in such a bad mood lately, he is acting so overprotective, he won't let us go anywhere in the field alone, and he is just acting like he doesn't trust any of us"

"That sounds like a regular Hotch to me," Emily said, if he wasn't in danger, she wasn't sure she wanted to know

"This is different Emily, even Dave is worried...we all are," The blonde said meeting her eyes

"What happened? Something else happened that is why you are calling me... isn't it"

"Damn profilers"

"JJ..."

"He is gonna get hurt Emily, he is just acting...I don't know even know how to explain it, yesterday he walked into a hostage situation without a vest, he is lucky...the unsub could have killed him.." that called her attention, that was not like Hotch at all

"Wait what? Why would he do that?"

"I don't know and when Morgan tried to talk to him about it he went off on Morgan" JJ continue to talk as she kept checking around the office to make sure no one was listening.

"Did anything happened in the past few days that make him act like that?"

"I don't think so, I mean after the divorce and the whole thing with Jayden he just..."

"Wait wait?" Emily asked frowning "What happen with Jayden"

"Oh that is right I forgot you don't know..." JJ said sadly

"Don't know what?"

"Jayden is not his son..."

"What!?" Emily almost dropped her glass of wine

"Apparently Beth had been cheating for longer than we all thought..."

"Oh my god," Emily's heart began to ache for him " Who the hell is Jayden's father then?"

"Sean"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Emily said in shock setting her glass down and taking a second to collect herself

"They found out after he filed for divorce, he wanted to keep custody of Jayden too and Beth requested a DNA test, I guess she knew he wasn't his all along.."

"That must have been so hard for him"

"Emily I am worried about him... he is gonna get hurt..."

"And you think he will talk to me?" Emily said shaking her head, finally understanding why JJ was calling her.

"He has always listened to you ..."

"Oh JJ I don't know, I don't think is a good idea..." She wasn't sure she was ready to talk to him again

"Look Emily I know you guys have a past or whatever, but this is bigger than that, he put his life at risk in ways we are never supposed to... Emily if something happens to him Jack has nothing left "

"Okay fine I get it..." Emily said aggravated

"I will try calling him" Emily agreed "I am not sure I can take more time off right now...but I can try calling him..."

"Thank you, Emily"

"I will call later okay?" she agreed and she disconnected the call.

She sat there for a few minutes not knowing what to do, she didn't want to talk to him again. But if this was true and Jayden wasn't his biological son, then this was not a good thing, and after all the pain he had endured through his life, this was not good. This only meant that Beth had forced him to raise a kid that was not his for the past two years, not only that but the only reason why t him and Emily weren't together was that Hotch would have never walked out on his son...but if Jayden wasn't his, Beth had only said that trap him into marrying her and ultimately into leaving Emily and ending their relationship.

_** "A sudden bold and unexpected question doth many times surprise a man and lay him open.-" Francis Bacon**_


	19. Chapter 19

_**Loving You Forever is What I Need Chapter Nineteen**_

_"**I may not be the kind of person you want me to, but I will always be there for you."****―**** Alfusainey Jallow**_

Emily finally stepped out of the cab, after sitting there for several minutes, a_ctually_ after making the driver turn around the block twice and then sitting there for about fifteen minutes. She almost made the poor guy take her back to the hotel but she had to go in, after all _that was why she had come all the way there_. She sighed fixing her hair and she started walking towards the apartment complex, a big part of herself was not sure if she was doing the right thing. But she was already there, and after all, she knew he would have done the same thing for her. After several seconds of pacing around the lobby, she got into the elevator, pushing the right floor button, and taking a deep breath. Why in the hell was she so nervous about this? Is was not like she was scared of him, after all, they had been _together_ just a few months ago. She got off the elevator and walked over his apartment. _You can do this Emily... she whispered to herself _gaining enough courage and knocking on the door.

"Emily..." said a very shocked, disheveled, and _drunk_ Hotch, his mouth open, he could not believe that she was standing there.

"What are you doing here...?" his tie and suit jacket was gone, his white crisp shirt was folded over his arms, and his hair was messy, he wasn't wearing any socks and Emily could smell the alcohol from where she was standing.

" I had a few things to do in D.C," She said biting her lip "I just wanted to stop by and see if you needed anything..."

"Dave called you, " He said knowingly moving out of the way to let her in.

"No, JJ did" Emily replied glancing around, she had never seen the stoic Aaron Hotchner so unkempt, she could also tell he had been drinking more than just a few drinks, given the bottles of liquor around the kitchen counter. They were several of them.

"They should have never bothered you... I am sorry that they did I know you are busy..."

"They did not bother me, they are just worried about you," she said looking at him worriedly "With all reason..." his place looked like a tornado had passed by.

"They don't need to worry about me, I am fine..." he said stumbling around a little bit

"When was the last time you ate anything Hotch?" Emily asked placing her purse on the couch looking at him very concerned this was not like him at all.

"Sometime this morning... or yesterday, I can't be sure," He said dismissively walking back towards the counter

"Do you want anything to drink?"

"No, I think I am good..."

"More for me then" he murmured pouring himself another glass of scotch and drinking almost all of it

"Woah why don't you slow down for a second there Aaron..." she said taking the glass and the bottle from his hands

"That's my drink..." he said drunkenly

"I think you had enough for today..." Emily said bitterly walking over to the kitchen and dumping the rest of his glass on the sink, along with the bottle.

"Hey, don't do that...that's mine" he walked drunkenly towards her, stumbling as he reached to take the bottle from her hand.

"Just give it back Emily..."

"No Hotch you are done drinking for tonight..." she said moving away from him unable to believe what she was seeing.

"You are mean," he said looking at her like a kid about to throw a tantrum

"What the hell are you doing Aaron?" she asked unable to control herself

"Nothin', I am just having a drink..."

"You are completely wasted Hotch..."

"I am fine, I am not even that drunk..." he waved dismissively walking away

"Tomorrow I will get up and go to work and save people, you know? Because that's what I do, I help people even when they do not want to be helped" he said dropping into his couch with a loud thud "That's my big problem"

"What are you talking about?"

"I am talking about the fact that I am an idiot," he said slurring his word "I am this big imposing, judgemental know-it-all who blows around yelling and complaining and screwing up everybody else's life..."

"Aaron .."

"I am dumb, I am just this big idiot...not like Sean, Sean is smart and good looking, everyone loves Sean, but me, I am just this giant unwelcome burden to everyone around me..."

"Hey, that's no true..." she said coming over and sitting down next to him

"Yes, it is...that's why Beth left to be with Sean, that's why she took my son, the kid I raised for the past two years but it doesn't matter you know. Because I am just this miserable person nobody wants to be around..."

"Is that what Beth told you?" she asked angrily ready to kill Beth, she had caused so much pain to Hotch already

"No, that's what Sean told me...but that is why Beth slept with him, that's why she had a kid with him and made me believe it was mine"

"Don't do that, you can't possibly blame yourself for what they did..."

"But if I had..."

"No, Aaron," she said firmly "Don't do this to yourself, Sean is a selfish, angry person who doesn't care about anyone else but himself," Emily said looking at him kindly

"You did everything you could to make sure your brother was okay, and he still went ahead and screwed his life up"

"And Beth..." Emily continued taking a second to control herself "Well Beth is just as evil and self-centered... and there is no name for what she did to you..." she reached to take his hand

"I am sorry you had to go through all of this Hotch..."

"I raised Jayde for two years, _two damn years Emily_, I did everything for Jack and him"

"I know that..."

"I ended my relationship with you," he said a tear finally rolling out of his eyes

"I loved you more than anything in the world and I had to let you go to be a father for a child that was not even mine..."

"I can't even imagine how you feel right now..." she said fighting the urge to pull him into her arms.

She hated Beth more than anything else in the world, she could not believe she had lied to Hotch about his son just to keep him trapped with her, it was her fault after all, why they were not together.

"But _what I do know_, is that you cannot let this destroy your life, Aaron, you still have Jack and a whole life ahead of yourself..."

He didn't say anything, he just looked lost and empty, Emily could not remember ever seen him so broken and vulnerable. "Everything is gonna be alright Aaron I promise you that"

"Where is Jack by the way...?" she asked changing the conversation

"Jessica's, he and his friends are having a sleepover ..."

"I was hoping I could see him..." she said with a small smile, she had always loved Jack so much.

"I can call for him if you want?" he said a smile making its way out of his face, Emily had been a motherly figure for his son after all

"Not right now Aaron, I won't allow Jack to see you like this," she said wiping the tear that had rolled out his eyes and looking at him concerned.

_"I don't want Jack to see me like this either," _he said as a scowl formed on his face

"Please don't let him see me like this! Please Emily.." he started freaking out

"Ok, okay calm down, Jack is not gonna see you... I promise you"

"I am sorry you had to see me like this too," he said feeling ashamed

"Is okay, I have seen you drunk plenty of times before..." she said with a smirk.

"Not like this you haven't..." he said sadly, that was true, he had never been that kind of man.

"No, you are usually more romantic" she joked hoping she could make him feel a little better.

"I am a Randy dunk aren't I?" he said, a sloppy smile on his face

"Yes, you definite are," Emily said laughing.

Hotch had never good at showing his emotions around others, not even around her. But it only took a couple of drinks and _he was all over her_ declaring his love and lavishing her with words and romance.

"So what now?"

"Now you go take a shower and sober up... this is not the end of the world Aaron, there might things that tear us apart inside but we keep going on"

"So you came all the way to D.C just to make me shower...?" his mind was beginning to clear

"No" she could not help to laugh "I have a few important meetings for Interpol, Clyde is here too"

"Clyde huh? Are you into English man now?" He asked winking at her

"Go shower Hotchner," she said rolling her eyes and slapping his chest playfully

"Okay, I am going..." Hotch replied standing up from the couch

"Are you gonna be here when I get out?"

"Ok course I will, I am gonna order some food and then we can talk more..."

"Emily..."

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for being here..."

"Always...now go... I am making you some coffee as well"

"I don't need coffee," he said as he went into the bathroom

"Oh yeah you do," Emily said to herself "You need an exorcism right now"

* * *

A few hours later Emily and Hotch were sitting on his couch talking and laughing, with an almost empty box of pizza in front of them. She had cleaned the apartment while he was in the shower, and now they were just relaxing and talking, Hotch was completely sobber now and he was not ready for his time with Emily to be over.

"Wait so you actually said that to him?" he asked laughing

"I mean yeah, we have known each other since I was like sixteen, he is pretty much family, It is not like I go around telling all my supervisors to fuck off," she said pulling a long strand of hair behind her ear.

"Well..." he stopped unsure if he wanted to finish the sentence. _Emily had told him to fuck off, on more than one occasion, while he was her supervisor._

"That's different," she argued rolling her eyes

"No, I think you are just feisty and stubborn in general..."

"No I am not," she said defensively, he just laughed at her

"Yeah you are"

"Well is not like you are Mister all smiles... Aaron Hotchner, in case you have not noticed you can be just as feisty and intimidating"

"Yeah but I don't recall using cussing words at my subordinates"

"Oh I can name a few times, in fact, many times..." she said biting her lip and smirking. He instantly blushed

"Other than sex Em" he laughed poking her, Emily just laughed rolling her eyes

"So I take the whole team knows you are here?"

"Actually no, only JJ knows, but I am sure by tomorrow morning the entire city will know"

"Garcia" he whispered knowingly "She is something else for sure.."

"Yeah, she is," Emily said looking at her watch

"Hey I should get going, It is almost midnight, I have a meeting in the morning."

"Are you staying JJ?"

"No, I am staying at the Renaissance"

"Let me take you back to the hotel, then," He said assuming she had taken a cab.

"Is okay, I can just take a cab back, It is only ten minutes away.."

"Emily is midnight, I am not letting you go back alone..."

"Aaron..."

"You just gave me a big lesson about friends and being there for each other... but you are not willing to let this work the same way?" he asked

"Okay fine" she agreed with a heavy sight

* * *

Hotch walked Emily up to her room at the Renaissance hotel, feeling a bit nostalgic, a huge part of him wishing she could have stayed with him. There was a point in their relationship when they were so close, just friends close, that she would spend the night with him, in his bed, nothing sexual, just talking for hours until the sun rose. Those were his favorites times, where he could just have her there close and knowing that a huge part of his heart belonged to him, even as a couple, he loved holding Emily in his arms and just keeping here there sound and safe. Emily had always been and will probably always be the woman he loved the most, he knew he would never be able to love anyone the way he loved her. Despite their differences and everything that had happened between he was glad that he could still be friends with her and that they care about each other, he knew they probably always will.

"Welp this is my room," Emily said smiling and using the key card to open the door.

"Thanks so much for walking me all the way here Hotch"

"Of course, is the least I could do"

"Have a good night Aaron. Will, you call me if you need anything?"

"Of course, have a good night," Hotch said walking away but before she could go inside the room he turned around again.

"Emily..."

"Yeah?"

"Why are you really here for?" he just needed to know

"I told you," she said hesitantly

"I have some business meetings for Interpol" he just gave her the look, the one that said I don't believe you, she knew exactly what that meant. He wanted to know what had prompted her to take a plane to D.C and go see him, and take care of him like it was the most normal thing in the world.

"I don't know..." she said honestly biting her lip and looking away from him unable to meet his questioning eyes

"When JJ called me and told me you were hurting, I just...I wanted to see you..." she said not fully looking at him, her eyes glossy and sad.

He closed the distance between them in two strides pulling her into his arms and kissing her passionately, that was all he needed to know, that she still cared about him.

Emily should have pushed him away but she did not, this was exactly why she did not want to come to see him in the first place because deep inside her she knew they would end up doing exactly what they were doing.

But right now her rational thoughts did not seem to matter, as she started reciprocating the kiss, pulling him inside her room. Emily just pulled Hotch to her, she lost sense of everything, the only thing that mattered to her right now was this moment they were melting in a kiss, moaning into each other's mouths. He closed the door with his foot, as he continued to assault her mouth.

He slowly led her closer to the bed, and they just surrendered to their passion. Emily had almost unbuttoned all his shirt, and she ran her hands over his chest, making Hotch shiver at the contact of her soft hands; she let his shirt fall to the floor, and then she ran her hands all over his torso, not missing a single spot on his sexy figure, his hands were on her sides grasping her and pulling her closer to him, he slowly started unbuttoning her shirt as he kissed her naked torso, placing soft kisses across her torso and leaving a few not so gentle bites. They fall against the bed, undressing each other, not caring about the situation or the what-ifs, that was the thing with, the chemistry between them had always been so strong, they fire always burned even without any fuel.

Aaron pulled away for a second admiring her glorious figure. She was wearing a black lace bra and panty set which made her alabaster skin stand out. His breath hitched, and his heart started beating faster than ever.

"God Lord, you are absolutely magnificent!" He said in awe, almost in a whisper.

She could feel herself blushing deeply. He then leaned down and grabbed her foot, kissing it gently and cautiously removing her high heels; he did the same thing with the other foot, all the while his eyes never left her face. He started at her lips, slowly, and then passionately, Emily was moaning now, he moved to her neck gently biting her earlobe tenderly. He moved down her neck placing soft kisses and gentle bites everywhere, making her whimper from his touch.

Emily undid his pants and freed his belt while he was kissing her, then she slid his jeans down his ankles and removed them completely. Her hands were on his back and his shoulder blades now…God, she was so wet already, and it was unbelievable. He lingered across her chest, and then through the valley of her breasts…she had the most amazing breasts he had ever seen, he placed soft kisses on them through the lace fabric. He kept kissing his way down her smooth stomach, his gentle bites sending shivers throughout her body. He kissed her from her navel down to her pelvis, where Emily started to buck involuntarily, her breath hitching and her heart beating so fast she felt it was going to explode.

She closed her eyes and ran her hands through his thick hair. Hotch moved to her slim legs, then her knees and her calves, and he kissed all the way to her foot doing the same with both legs taking all his time. Emily couldn't control herself anymore he was killing her.

"Oh God, Aaron, please." He smiled knowing how crazy it drove her to lose control, he came back kissing the same way, and he stopped to meet her eyes again. He placed his finger on her lips shushing her tenderly.

"Relax Emily... just let me love you..." he said in a husky whisper, taking her nipple into his mouth.

"Oh, God…" She moaned softly, with her eyes closed while he did indescribable things to her breast. His hand slowly slid down her legs…he could feel how wet and hot she was, and he couldn't stop himself from sliding one finger inside her wet core. Emily arched her back screaming at the feel of his finger. He smiled, watching her melt under his touch, while he played with her for a bit with his finger. He then stopped his movements, pulling his finger out and licking it hungrily. When he returned to her mouth, Emily could taste her juices on his mouth, and somehow, that made her even hotter, so, she slid her hand inside his boxers and cupped his erection. Then he leaned down to her stomach and grabbed her panties with his teeth and, keeping his eyes on her all the time, sliding her panties down her long legs, he started kissing from her ankle up to her thighs, biting the skin softly and leaving tiny red marks where her his mouth had been. When he finally reached her hot center, he could smell her desire, and that just turned him even more.

He reached between her folds with his tongue making her whimper, and making her breath erratic. He licked her slit from back to front completely watching her closed eyes and watching the pleasure he was giving her. He slid his finger inside her again, and then a second one, curving his fingers to reach her g-spot, and when he began increasing the speed of his movements, Emily could feel her walls contracting and she knew her orgasm was close.

"Aaron, I am going cum….please." She begged, however, he didn't stop, and a few seconds later she came, arching her back. Aaron finished drinking her sweet juices and returned to her mouth kissing her passionately. Tasting herself on his mouth was one of the most amazing and turned on experiences she had ever imagined.

Aaron lined himself at her entrance and slowly, very slowly, he slid himself into her entrance while keeping eye contact with her all the time. When he started to move again, she opened her eyes to look at him, they didn't need any words they were so into each other that it was overwhelming. Emily flipped them on the bed, staying on the top and taking control of things; she sat down on his erection, riding him slowly and keeping eye contact with him all the time. He had better access to her breast now, so he captured her nipples in his mouth while she rode him slowly.

Soon, she speed up her movements, they were both moaning frantically, and Aaron could feel the warm feeling in his stomach growing but this was different, no woman had ever made him feel what Emily Prentiss made him feel at this moment, the closeness, the shivers, and the pleasure she was making him experience was something he could never have with anyone else

"Oh God, baby…..you feel so damn good." He said, his hands on her ass and hips helping her ride him.

When Emily leaned down to kiss him, her breast pressed against his chest, and his hands immediately went to her back, he tightened his arms around her back and one more time he flipped them on the bed, now in control of her, he could take her to heaven one more time before he, too, reached that point. She wrapped her arms around his waist as his movement inside her became faster and stronger, making her moan and scream his name…Emily was very vocal in bed, and that turned him on so much, it always had.

Slowly, he reached between their joined bodies, rubbing his finger on her clit timing his movements inside her with his movement of her clit. One more time, Emily felt her wall contract, and before she could say anything or do anything, she came again screaming his name. His pace became even more intense and just a few seconds later, he too exploded inside her, whispering her name against her naked chest.

After they both came down from their high pulled out of her falling back into the mattress and pulling her into his arms, she gently reached for the sheet covering both of their bodies, and just enjoying the absolute bliss she felt when she was with him.

"How many days do I have you for?" he asked with a goofy grin

"Two, maybe three," she said "But you do realize that I actually have to work, I was not lying when I said I have a few Interpol meetings"

"I know"

"And Garcia will kill me if I don't have breakfast or lunch with them"

"Okay fine but the rest of the time you are mine..."

"Oh really?" she asked amused

"Really!..." he said looking at her with lusk, "Of course we can always resort to handcuffs..." he winked

"Aaron!" she laughed as he kissed her passionately and nothing else mattered after that.

_**"If this were a different time, a different place, I would take you to bed with me and make love to you for days."― Anne Stuart**_


End file.
